Breath in. Breath out. That's what my mind whisper to me before taking that first step through those carved, dusty, wooden doors.
Here goes everything. My fear was sweating through my hands as I pull the hard doors open. The wind push me forward, making me fly into the entrance of the
building. That push send a few butterflies to my stomach in an instant. In that same instant, pure fright conquered my face as I stared straight ahead at the hallway
that in a few moments, will be full of loud students, crazy teachers, and fallen books.
Starting sophomore year isn't always easy. It's like starting freshman year all over again but with déjà vu. Because it always been "Big Shay". I've been titled with
that name my whole entire life, but I'm not fat, I'm just fluffy. But to everyone else I'm considered the fat one. Even to my family, I live with my mom and have
three sisters. They all are twigs except one who is I guess is the curvy one, she is the eldest and her and I relate to one another not because of our curves but our
love for food and late dinner nights we have once a week. Anyways, being in a house full of sticks make me look like the whole yard of forest.
The school wasnt so bad. Seeing the glazing marble floors and perfectly placed blue painted bricks made the school look like no one ever step foot
into it. I knew the school was new but not so brand new that it looked so polished and clean. It's been a long time since I've come back from break, but the school
had a few decorations. Starting with a ginormous, plastic , aqua poster, written in yellow calibri, "Welcome to Gomille High, Home of the Grizzly Bears"...Amazing.
As I continue a long walk to class, I heard loud stomps behind me getting closer and a scent of coffee creep through my neck. I stopped in motion and
awkwardly turned around. Man, I guess rushing to get an egg mcmuffin won't get you very far. A tall dark bearded man stood over me with a clipboard and old styled
black pen that was as sharp as his tone of voice. "Ma'am do I look like a grown sized dummy to you?" Well, judging from that suit, I bet he didn't even earn a college
degree and can only score a job that is only as far as a hall monitor at a local high school. He was new to this school, I supposed because I haven't seen him a day in
"Um...no...no,sir," from that minor hesitation he knew I was questioning his own question.
"Come with me" he huffed at me with a long "intimidating" stare.
We walked through the nicely painted hallway with the obvious high school scenery. Lockers, every ten set of lockers had a classroom. Offices at the far end of the
hallways. A lot of twists and turns in this school but pretty much every hallway looked the same. Of course there were more decorations , like the same ones in the
entrance, but there were posters that had up - coming clubs, reminders of schedule changes and rules and policy.
Then, my hands crushed when we stopped by an office that reads on the glass door, "assistant principal office." Great. I knew someone was behind that door waiting
for something to bite on. The hall monitor opened the door that left a creak sound that cringed my ears. He walked in with a little hesitation that made his cocky aura
look less confident and more timid. Glancing a dark glance towards me and issued me to sit down immediately.
Sitting in front of the principal desk shaken me up as it did the hall monitor. She was african american, a bit lighter than my ebony skin, and had short, small coarse
hair and had a shiny black suit that probably cost more than the decor of the office. She regarded me for a few seconds and pulled back towards the hall monitor. He
handed the clipboard to her and with no emotion looked down pointing a few things with her pen.
"What's the name?" She demanded without any effort of control.
"Shontel. Shontel Banks,ma'am" I said with a baby voice.
"Shontel?" She said with a nod of knowledge of understanding." You went to go get yourself a morning snack."
"You know big girls got to eat..um..no?" putting light into the situation just made her face look harder.
"I know," I stared at her. Did she just called me fat?
I sighed. Then she gave me a decent smile and it quickly faded when she turned around and handed the clipboard back. That was the first time I felt warmth around
her since being in her office, but the room was still cold. Which made me have goosebumps all over again.
" escort this young woman to her first period class. The bells about to ring in a few." She said with that same demand but no effort in her tone.
Mr. Philips and I walked to my first period class before the bell rang. I reach into my white and black striped backpack and pulled out a half piece of paper that reads
my schedule. With a face full of thoughts hoping it's not going to have 45 minutes of boredom. It reads first period dash geometry dash Mrs. Philips dash B134. ? Mr.
and Mrs. Philips?
I destroyed that thought, when I thought about me. I tried so hard making first impressions to the time I was little Shay to the time I was big Shay. I wasn't the
prettiest girl in the school, but I tried hard to look my best every time. Watching fashion shows and reading magazines I wanted to look good despite my size and my
complexion. I've been teased before several times for several reasons. I'm not the smartest especially in math nor the most graceful. Yes, I'm one of those clumsy
When we got ther the door opens and a tall, beautiful woman peaked out looking at her husband with delight and then look down at me and gave a bigger smile.
"Hello." She shook my hand and ushered me to come in. Giving a wink to Mr. Philips. I guess it's to say goodbye or see you later.
I stood there in front of my new classmates with my eyes stuck to the ground while the teacher sees the seating chart to know where to place me.
"Oh there you are," making a tap at where she placed me,"Behind Alisha." She looked around again." Alisha raise your hand."
A pretty brown-skinned girl gracefully shot her hand up. I wobbled through the desks getting to my seat. Faces staring at me like I owe them some kind of an
entertainment. Then. Oh no. Not again.
I am stuck between two desks. All the blood rush to my feet all the way through my face. Why does the universe have to become like this? Praying to get out of this
mess as soon as possible, I wiggled my pressured hips to get out of the awkward place I'm in. With a few snickers from behind me,I saw Alisha going around a few
desks and shoved me to get me out of that mess. Once finally out of that crazy embarrassment. I sat down while Alisha went behind to sit down to her desk with a
weary face. Then once both of us were sitting, she tapped a light tap on my shoulder and ask if I was ok. I gave a light nod not facing her, in light of my shame.
Then there was another tap on my left shoulder that was harder. And the voice that came out wasn't a concern nor angelic. I looked behind me and saw a pretty girl
with big brown eyes and a smile that contradicts her face.
"Hey Big Shay"