Once upon a time, there was a crazy demon world, in which lived celebrities like Hugh Jackman. Not all of them were bad, like the aforementioned Hugh Jackman, but some of them were. I regret to have to write about this dark place, but since it is the location of our next adventure, I must. Sadly, Hugh Jackman is not in the story, but I'd like to point out that he has a wonderful voice, so if you haven't yet watched the new Les Miserables of December 2012, I suggest that you do so.

Anyway, the hero of our story is not one of the original inhabitants of this place, which I will call Otherworld. In fact, if you are crazy enough to have read the first part of this story, you will either know this name very well or have forgotten it entirely. If you did forget it, I apologize for ruining your chances of staying sane. The hero of our story is named Barnabas, but he's still Barry because I am still lazy.

When Barry regained consciousness, he noticed a couple of things. One, he was no longer in Annaland. Yay. Two, he felt stranger than how he had felt before. Instead of the soft, slightly squishy bun he'd always had, he was a mushroom. A toadstool, to be exact, but nobody says that anymore. Except for certain old people and weird people.

Barry was horrified, and felt sick. A MUSHROOM! he thought angrily. How undignified! He wriggled around for a minute or so, testing the limits of his new mushroom body. I'm like a Goompa now! he realized. He hoped that Mario (yes, the video game one) wasn't around, for he wasn't a real Goompa. Barry wished for other things too, namely legs, but he wondered who he was wishing to.

Then he felt an odd wrenching sensation, like he was being pulled out of the ground. His strands of mycelium remained, but the fruiting part -which was him- was pulled forcefully out of the ground. He looked down at his midriff and saw a large hand gripping him. He also saw Goompa-style legs on himself. He was happy for the legs but less so for being picked. He kicked out, squirming, but the hand didn't let go.

Barry felt his temper rise, and he shouted at the owner of the dark-skinned hand. "Unhand me this instant, you big poopball!"

The owner of the hand did nothing but chuckle. "How immature of you." Then he set Barry down and said. "I'm letting you go for now, but if I want to find you again I will, because I'm Samuel Jackson. I was Nick Fury AND Mace Windu."

Barry stared blankly at Samuel Jackson. "Who?"

An angry cloud voice called out irritably. "How can a character of my own creation not know who Mace Windu or Nicholas Joseph Fury is?!"

"I don't know! YOU'RE the one writing this!" Barry grumbled.

At this, the author fell silent, leaving Barry alone with Nick Windu.

"Nick Windu?!" Samuel Jackson shouted angrily.

"SHUT UP!" the author raged. "I'M LAZY, OKAY?"

"Fine then."

"Would you prefer Mace Fury?"

"No," Nick Windu muttered sullenly.

"Then deal with it." The author poofed away for real this time, and


"What was that?" Barry called to the author.

"I poofed away. That meant I couldn't write any of the story, and created a giant blank spot. That means no matter how much I hate being stuck here, I have to be. And since I know I'll just keep on breaking the fourth wall, I'm not going to bother fixing it, and I'll be a character in my own story."

"Really?" asked Nick Windu.

"Yup. That means that I don't need you anymore. Go away." Author Shadow told Samuel Jackson.

"Gladly," he replied, and poofed away.


"What?" Barry asked.

"Nothing," replied Author Shadow. "I just like the look of giant blank spaces in the story."

"Are you going to do that every time someone poofs in your story?"


"Probably," said Author Shadow.

"I hate you," Barry muttered under his breath.

"I love you too." Author Shadow gave Barry a crooked grin.

A door not too far from Author Shadow opened and a black horse's head poked out of it. "Was that our que?" he asked.

Author Shadow facepalmed. "Yes, it was. We're going to have to do that again. CUT!"

"What?" Barry asked.

"Nothing," replied Director Shadow. "I just like the look of giant blank spaces in the story."

"Are you going to do that every time someone poofs in your story?"


"Probably," said Director Shadow.

"I hate you," Barry muttered under his breath.

"I love you too." Director Shadow gave Barry a crooked grin.

A jumble of angry voices rose from the distance. Shouts of "You're an owl, you go first," rang out through the area, and Author Shadow groaned angrily.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" she raged.

"What?" Barry asked.

"Nothing," replied Angry Shadow. "I just like the look of giant blank spaces in the story."

"Are you going to do that every time someone poofs in your story?"


"Probably," said Angry Shadow.

"I hate you," Barry muttered under his breath.

"I love you too." Angry Shadow gave Barry a somewhat forced crooked grin.

A magnificent black pegasus strode toward the duo. Perched on his back was a slender barn owl. They were Jeffery Buster Fernando James Morgan Henry the 14th and his owl friend, OWL. Oliver Wilson Lars hooted softly at Barry and Slightly Irked Shadow, "Hello, you two! We have waited long to see you here."

Irked Shadow mumbled, "At least you guys were organized this time."

"What was that?" asked JBFJMH14.

"Nothing," replied Displeased Shadow.

"Are you DISSATISFIED Shadow?" Gingehfish asked.

"No. Go away." Author Shadow shoved Gingehfish away, and she poofed back to Steve Jr.

"This is ridiculous!" Barry shouted.

"That's the point!" Author Shadow crowed, a smug expression on her face.

"Fine then." Barry, OWL, and JBFFJMH14 poofed away, leaving Author Shadow alone.


Since Author Shadow knew where they went, she decided to use the magical powers granted to her by THOR and be in two places at once.

"Hello," said Author Shadow amiably to the readers. "One me is in the Steve Jr. the Fluffy Stuffed Chicken story, the other is here. I'm going to fill up space with random guff here until my characters get back. For the sake of, um, things, I will not use quotation marks."

Today I had the first sandwich I've had in a really long time. It wasn't very good, because it was a peanut butter and honey sandwich. I put too much honey on it so that in some places, it had soaked into the bread and made a disgusting pasty thing that tasted awful. The peanut butter didn't help.

I forced myself to om nom on that soggy sandwich, while watching the Doctor Who episode "Blink". I like that show. I like that episode. You there, if you don't watch Doctor Who, you should. It's awesome! MY NAME IS DAVE! YOGNAUT!
Ahem. I imagine that You are getting bored, so I will stop rambling now and get on with the story.

JBFJMH14 hung his head, his tail and mane drooping. "Sorry, Author Shadow."

Author Shadow shrugged. "Meh."

"You really ought to treat us better, though, Author Shadow," OWL hooted.

"Too bad."

"I was a hot dog again," Barry said wistfully.

"Well, you work for Author Shadow again, and you're a toadstool. Deal with it." Author Shadow told him bluntly

Barry sighed and kicked his little Goompa feet, and Author Shadow turned briskly to JBFJMH14 and OWL.

"Last time, I let you guys run amok with the plot. You were supposed to make friends with Steve, but you nincompoops blew him up instead. I had to do SO much paperwork." Author Shadow passed a hand through her hair distractedly.

"Ahem," OWL coughed.

"Right," Author Shadow said. "Anyway, this time I'm still letting you run amok, but this time under my not so responsible tutelage. So if you stray too far from my preset plot, I'll only pay you a cent a DAY instead of on the hour."

"NOOO!" cried the threesom.

"Yes." Author Shadow crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at them.

"So," wondered OWL aloud. "What is the preset plot?"

"I don't know," admitted Author Shadow.

"Seriously?" JBFJMH14 whinnied and shook his head in disbelief.

"What? Did you expect me to actually put EFFORT into this? I only pay you one cent per hour!"

"That's true," Barry said pensively.

Author Shadow nodded. "I shall consult the Folder given to me by the mighty THOR to figure out what we're supposed to do in this story."

"Sounds like a good plan," hooted OWL. "Wait, only Jeremiah takes orders from Thor!"

"First of all, it's not Thor, it's THOR. Also, Jeremiah is a joke. He's not the only one to follow THOR'S commands."

"Who else?" Barry inquired.

"Nobody you know. Rythian. And possibly Zoey." AuTHOR Shadow raised an eyebrow, hoping to see a flicker of recognition in her character's eyes.

She got nothing. "Gah!" she harrumphed, stomping angrily on the ground. "You NEED to get out more."

"Wait!" cried JBFJMH14. "Isn't Rythian the colorblind Swedish person? And isn't Zoey the girl whose voice sounds like a man?"

Author Shadow rubbed her chin. "Yeah, I guess, but that's not how I'd describe them..."

JBFJMH14 was confused. "But you did. YOU'RE the one writing this!"

Author Shadow cleared her throat self-consciously. "Yes, well. Ahem. The folder says, 'Thou must find a way out of the Dar World.'"

"Do you mean the Dark World?" OWL raised a nonexistent eyebrow.

"THOR wrote Dar World," Author Shadow explained.

"So, how do we get out of here?" JBFJMH14 queried, his eyes narrowed.

"Apparently, we need the help of insiders. Quick, give me the names of famous actors!" OWL hooted.

"David Tennant!" Author Shadow shouted.

"Jeremy Renner!" JBFJMH14 supplied.

"Brian Blessed!" Barry wriggled from excitement.

"Tennant, too Scottish...Renner, too mainstream...Blessed...never heard of him."

"GORDAN'S A LIE!" screamed Barry.

"Right..." Everybody was a bit terrified of Barry's outburst, because none of them had seen the movie Flash Gordon. It's a good movie.

"What about Sylvester McCoy?" asked Author Shadow.

"No," replied OWL.

"Tom Baker?"

"No."

"Christopher Eccleston?"

"No."

"Um...Matt Smith?"

"DO YOU KNOW ANY ACTORS THAT AREN'T THE DOCTOR!" OWL raged.

"Fine then," grumbled Author Shadow. "How about Arthur Darvill?"

"ARRRGH!" OWL screamed. "NOBODY FROM DOCTOR WHO!"

"FINE!" Author Shadow screamed back. "HOW ABOUT ANDREW GARFIELD!?"

OWL calmed down. "Who's that?"

"He plays Spiderman in the new Spiderman movie," explained Author Shadow.

"Anything else?" asked OWL suspiciously.

"...he was in one episode of Doctor Who..." supplied Author Shadow sheepishly.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU-"

"Two, in fact. But it was a two parter episode."

"NO ACTORS FROM DOCTOR WHO!"

"Okay. How about Hugh Jackman?"

"No. He's still on Earth, remember?"

"Oh. Right. So, how about Chris Evans?"

"Who?" OWL asked blankly.

"GAH! He's Captain America!"

"Oh. He works."

"Good. I going to poof off and get him."


"What's going on here?" Chris Evans asked suspiciously.

"You're being brought into our story, Capsicle!" Barry told him, his eyes wide with awe.

"Okay...I'm not actually Captain America, though. I'm just an actor." Chris Evans frowned.

"I've always wanted to ask you, though," Author Shadow said. "How does it feel to portray one of our most inspirational superheroes?"

Chris Evan's scowl faded somewhat. "It feels great," he said. "He's everything I aspire to be."

Author Shadow grinned. "He is, though."

"Okay, if you two are just going to gush about Captain America, he can't be in our story." OWL was miffed.

Author Shadow clamped a hand over her mouth and Chris Evans raised an eyebrow. they both remained silent, and OWL continued.

"Okay, we have our celebrity help, now what?" OWL wondered.

"I don't know. Let's blow things up now." Barry said.

Chris Evans and Author Shadow both raised their hands in the air, and OWL called on Chris Evans.

"Okay. What exactly are you guys trying to do?" he demanded.

"We are trying to leave," JBFJMH14 told him. "We are under orders from THOR."

Chris Evans scowled again. "Do you mean Chris Hemsworth?"

"Who's that?" asked JBFJMH14.

Author Shadow rolled her eyes and didn't say anything. Chris Evans' frown deepened. "He plays Thor in the- never mind."

"No, we mean the actual Norse god Thor. Not an Australian actor." Author Shadow whispered.

"Oh," Chris Evans fell silent again.

JBFJMH14 flew in from the sky, a load of TNT in a net tied to his neck. "Guys! I ran into Jamie and Adam from MythBusters and they gave me some explosives! Now we can blow this place up and leave!"

"OKAY" shouted Barry.

"Wait! What about the inhabitants of this place?" Author Shadow gestured to the confused-looking Chris Evans.

"They'd better be fast runners," said Barry.

"I'd run then, if I were you," OWL told Chris Evans.

He nodded, eyes wide, and ran off.

"M'kay. Blow 'er up!" Author Shadow shouted.

JBFJMH14 flipped a conveniently located lever and all the TNT blew up in their faces. The whole scarey celebrity world exploded, leaving the main characters pretty much dead and lying prone on their backs.

Author Shadow groaned and pulled out a laptop. She began typing furiously, and she sprang up again, good as new. "Ha!" Author Shadow cried.

"W-what?" JBFJNH14 said, his voice weak.

Author Shadow typed some more, and everyone was wrapped in chains and transported to the terrible 42.

Of course, none of them recognized it.

"What have you done?!" cried OWL, eyes widened in disbelief.

"Didn't you realize!" Author Shadow crowed. "I was the OTHER Author the whole time!" She pulled off a face mask, revealing her true face to be exactly the same as the mask.

"What's up with the mask?" inquired Barry.

"I put it on for dramatic purposes. Now, the REAL Authors, Shadow and Gingehfish, are keeping you locked in here with Jeremiah, Steve Jr., and Louie the Paramecium until they need you later. I'm going to watch a couple movies and see if THOR needs my help."

"Thor?!" a small voice cried out angrily.

"Yes, Jeremiah. THOR," the devious Other Author told him.

"Nooooo!" he cried.

"Too bad." said the Other Author.

THE END