Because I needed to write something.

It's 12:45 am in the morning, and I am quite miserable.

My head's throbbing, my nose won't quite running, and I'm pretty sure my feet are about to fall asleep. Which I should be doing... but I'm miserable.

Did I mention that?

My eyes feel puffed up because I've been crying, and it's too difficult to pinpoint the main reason why. There are so many reasons, and thinking about them make me want to cry that much harder.

What am I doing with my life? Where am I going?

What do I hope to accomplish?

It's scary to think that after I die, there will be no one around to say or attest to anything I've done in my life- because I hadn't.

That thought is more terrifying than contemplating me going to Hell.

They say that God only help those who help themselves. But how can I help myself, when I'm part of my own problem?

How in the world can God help me then? And why would He- or She? It? I don't know -want to help me in the first place? After all- I was the one who got myself into trouble, and would probably manage to do it again...

Ugh. Just thinking these things make my head throb harder.

I wish I could fall asleep and not think of anything else.

I wonder if other people wander around, thinking- worrying -about the same things I do.

It would make me feel less lonely.