A/N: JAMBO! This story was inspired by the Harry Potter Prequel written by JK Rowling, as well as the starting line my Dad gave me to write a story: "Something furry leapt at me as I opened the door." Enjoy! Oh, right, I don't own Harry Potter or the name Elvendork, JK Rowling does. Well, she owns the former, dunno about the latter. And I don't own the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody and I have no idea who does.


'You heard.'



'Sorry, but how can something be called an Elvendork?'

'It just is.'

'I mean... Elvendork!'

'You seem rather hung up on that fact.'

'So would you be if you found out something was called Elvendork. What are they anyway?'

Ryan Matthews shrugs. 'Well, according to Amy, they're these invading creatures who look like balls of cotton wool. Remember Arnold the Pigmy Puff from Harry Potter? The one that Ginny owned? These Elvendorks are like that.'

Matt Tyler raises an eyebrow. 'Oh, really?'


'Where'd you learn about 'em anyway?'


'Ah. I see. At the first sight of her, all rationality goes out the window.'

'I never said this was not rational.'

Matt snorts. 'Dude. These are BALLS of COTTON WOOL. I think the phrase "IN NO WAY RATIONAL" jumps to mind.'

'And they're purple.'


'They're purple. Please let's not do this again.'


'I said please!'

'Next you'll be saying that they want to kill every human being on this planet and take over.'

Ryan blushes. 'Well, I did say invading.'

Matt throw his hands up in the air. 'Balls of cotton wool who want to take over the world. And they're purple. Did I mention that they're purple? Well, they are. Purple, that is. PUR-PLE.'

'Is it getting you upset?'

'You BET it's getting me upset! How can something be purple? It goes against every law in nature!'

'Did a grape kill your parents or something? Because I think you've gone through severe trauma.'

Matt's face goes purple. Like the Elvendorks are presumed to be, which are, in reality, a very lovely shade of lilac. Not purple. Lilac.

'I'll give you severe trauma!' Matt leaps at Ryan. But guess what happens?

That's right. An Elevendork falls on his head, sticking to his face.

'AAAUGH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!' he shrieks, but his cries are muffled. Ryan raises an eyebrow and moves forward to get a closer look.

'No escape from reality, huh?' he smirks. 'Looks like Freddy Mercury was wrong.'


'Calm down, will you? It's just an Elvendork!'


'I wonder if he could get a job as a Banshee. It's not a bad career plan, but you do need to have the right contacts. Hmm..'