Yelping the Dentist

I should review my dentist on Yelp? Really? That seems so personal. Also he is a lone dentist in a little office. If I write about him, he will know just what I thought. What about the next time I go in there? What if he has got me back in the chair with my mouth wide open and lots of metal tools and cotton packing inside? What if he said:

"I was a little surprised to read on Yelp that you thought I took forever with the Cavitron".

"Gerrrrr…"

"You didn't say that to me when you were here."

"Unngggg…"

"Open wider. Careful. You see I was just surprised. You seemed to be quite satisfied with the tooth cleaning. If you had complaints I wish that you had shared them with me before the rest of San Francisco. Maybe I could have satisfied your concerns. Perhaps you would have been interested to know that I had to go slowly with the Cavitron because - despite what you wrote on the questionnaire you gave to my assistant - you clearly had not visited a dentist in a long time. There were massive build-ups of tarter and plaque. I felt like I needed a jack hammer back there to get the stuff loose…"

"Grhrh…"

"Don't try to talk. Of course it is a bit frustrating that only one side of the story gets told. I mean I really think that it would be fairer if I could have pointed out that you didn't even try to open wide. I felt like I was peering into a coke bottle. How was I supposed to move quickly? And what about turning toward me? I had to ask you a dozen times and each time you went through the motions and in a minute or two you'd have forgotten and your nose would be in straight line up to the ceiling. That frankly makes it very hard to get to the back teeth."

"I guv you fo stshs…"

"Don't talk. I realize that you gave me four stars. I appreciate that. Though of course I have mostly 5 stars and so 4 isn't really any help. Plus you said I took forever. That really won't help."

" Sorry, I uhh…"

"Two."

"Twa?"

"Two. Two stars. That is what I give you. Two stars. And that's only cause you paid at the time of service."

Yelping The Dentist

400 Words

San Francisco

April 7, 2012