Black Raison D'etre

Chapter One: The First Step

Edit: I made some minor mistakes that Y. S. Wong pointed out. Kana-chan also pointed out a minor mistake. And thankyouuu Van-chan, for the title. Sorry for not mentioning it earlier OAO

What's the point in living?

When everything you hold dear to your heart... disappears? For me, it was our relationship. That special bond between us was something not even Sayako could break. No words could describe the bond we had.

Call me low for using such a tactic. But I can't lie, that although it was for revenge against Sayako, I ended up... caught in my own trap.

The darkness surrounded me like a blanket; it suffocated me, deprived me of my most precious one... my most precious Kazuto-kun. If only I hadn't been so stupid and naive, maybe things would've turned out differently.

Maybe if I had met him first, instead of Sayako, things would have turned out differently. And maybe... revenge wouldn't have even crossed my mind.


"Aiko-chan," I sighed, and turned around to meet the gaze of the one who approached me, my childhood friend and window neighbour, Mikeru Sayako. A smile crept up my glossy pink lips as I waved at her. "School's starting again! How was your summer?"

I smirked at her, and lifted my black wig a little higher, revealing the mass of golden locks underneath.

Sayako gasped, and looked around for any prefects or teacher that might be lurking around. Fortunately for her, no one was around, but them. "Oh my god, Aiko, you naughty girl!" I smirked at her as we said the next line together, "You dyed your hair!"

"Of course! Look at my eyes too!" I removed my eye-enlarging lenses at smirked at her. I put them back on as her jaws hit the ground. "They were expensive, but worth it!"

Sayako shook me violently, and I could feel my insides swirling around. "Aiko, stop this! You've already broken two school rules!"

I grinned at her. "Princess, I've broken every rule I know!" I motioned towards my breasts that suddenly grew so big. "Implants, baby! And I'm loving every second of it!"

"No, no, no!" Sayako grimaced, as she looked around frantically for any form of authority. "All the rules you've broken... were announced on the opening ceremony!"

I shook her off. (Big mistake!) "What now, asking me to turn myself in for a lenient punishment?" I scoffed at her, and strode towards the school's gates.

"Aiko... you don't understand... I-"

"Save your breathe," I held up a hand. Gasping, she grabbed my hand and glared at me. She scratched my nails, and I instinctively pulled my hand back. "You even painted your nails?" She hissed at me. I smiled sheepishly as I rubbed my nail, trying to cover up the small speck of pink that Sayako revealed.

She glared at me as I winked at the prefect on duty today. He blushed at me, before returning to his duties.

She shook her head behind me as I walked into the hall, ready for the opening ceremony. After the boring speeches, the head prefect suddenly took over the stage. "And I would like to warn you all, summer is over, so please, follow school rules," the words pierced straight through my heart, and I swore that he was staring straight at me. "All rule breakers are subjected to suspensions, especially juniors and seniors. Thank you."

I was practically gaping. I was sure I did well in hiding my mistakes! Sayako gave me a worried look, and there I was, gaping at him as he left the stage.

Since I was sitting on the end of the second row, it took him no time to reach my side. He stared at me for a while, before nodding at me. I nodded back wearily, sweating, and frozen on the spot.

The rest of the ceremony went on uneventfully.


"Sayako, wanna go to the karaoke bar with us?" I motioned for my best friend to come over. I wanted Sayako to meet new people, since she's shy around people. "We're going with the boys from class 11."

She froze in the tracks as soon as she heard me. Shaking her head, she grabbed her bag and quickly ran out.

"S-Sayako!" I tried to run after her, but Tachibana-san stopped me.

Tachibana Fumiko is the daughter of a really rich family in Hokkaido. Her reddish brown hair was curled, and her emerald eyes were shining and beautiful. She also had a stunning body and admirable height. The only thing missing from her is the personality and brains.

"Satoniki-san, we can go without her. If Mikeru wants to miss this, it's her loss, girl," she said, and her friends bobbed their heads in agreement. Well, I couldn't really refuse her. I mean, if our school had a hierarchy, Tachibana-san's clique would be at the top. And at the bottom, would be my best friend, Sayako.

Sighing, I reluctantly grabbed my bag and went ahead without my best friend. I guess I would tell her about it tonight, since we're window neighbours.

Tachibana-san brought me to a really expensive karaoke bar, and we started singing our hearts out. "The boys should be here any minute now," Tachibana-san suddenly announced as I took a sip of my ginger ale. "Aren't you excited?"

I blinked at her. Why would I be excited over a bunch of boys from class 11?

"I heard that the hottest guys are from class 11!" one of Tachibana-san's friend gushed. Tachibana-san smirked as she strode towards me.

"What about you, kitten?" she took the ale from my hands and placed it down on the table. "Aren't you excited? You can finally have fun without that bothersome slug around."

Did she mean Sayako?

"Yes, I mean that Mikeru. She's a parasite, really." She cackled like a witch, and her friends joined in. "How about you ditch that loser and join our clique instead?"

My jaws hit the ground as one of her friends came towards me. She handed me my ginger ale, and smiled at me. Her smile resembled a cat.

Tachibana-san smirked at me, daring me to drink the ale. As if it meant a symbol of our (so called) friendship. "Bottoms up, girl!" she grinned, and I drank the ginger ale reluctantly. I mean, I remember why Sayako is such a loner. She rejected Tachibana-san and got that treatment.

"Good girl, Satoniki-san, was it?" she patted my shoulders, and grabbed the mic from one of her friends. "Asami, dear, would you mind switching the song?"

"I'd be glad to, Fumi-chan," one of her friends stood up. She was a really beautiful girl, with her scarlet locks flying behind her, serious yet large pink eyes, and her close to flawless complexion. She had an athlete's build, and was really tall for a girl her age. Somehow, she doesn't seem like the type to smile. She seemed like those mature and beautiful ones. "Ochi-sensei, right?"

Nodding, Tachibana-san flashed a smile to her general direction. "You know it, sister!"

"Tachibana-san, I..." before I could finish my sentence, Tachibana-san stopped me with a wave of her hand. "No, no, no! Call me Fumi-chan!" she gasped, fanning herself with her hand. "We're friends, aren't we? And I'll call you Aiko-chan!"

Hearing those words felt like a promotion. Maybe, maybe if I play my cards right, I could make it to the top of the hierarchy!

"F-Fumi-chan." Those words were like a weight off my chest. I'd have something to talk about with Sayako tonight! Slowly, I got accustomed to calling her by her given name. My name rolled off her tongue naturally, as if she was used to calling others by their given names. Come to think of it, I'd never heard her call any of her friends by their family names! She'd talk to you for a minute and start calling your first name. "You like Ochi-sensei too?"

"Yeah, but I like English singers better! They're so hot!" she started ranting about how Japanese singers couldn't compare to Western ones.

Finally, the guys from class 11 arrived. We sung to our hearts' content, and I've also hooked up with some of the guys. You've gotta admit, they are pretty hot. I've got a few dates on my hands now. Now I really can't wait to see Sayako tonight!


Sayako sat there, curled and wrapped in her blanket. Tears blurred her sight as she thought about today.

"Sayako, wanna go to the karaoke bar with us?" Aiko asked as she waved for me to come closer.

I stupidly went to my friend, despite seeing Tachibana-san behind her. Just when I was about to respond, Tachibana-san flipped the universal finger at me, and her clique formed an 'L' with their fingers, calling me a loser.

And I swore I saw Tachibana-san mouth "you'd better not come or I'll make you suffer" to me. Hurriedly, I shook my head and ran.

Aiko didn't even bother to come after me.

Sighing, Sayako ran her fingers through her long, glossy black hair. She blinked her onyx eyes as she wiped her tears off her cheeks. "Who needs her? That delinquent bitch," she cursed, sobbing. "I'll just show her that I can survive without her."

She pulled out a napkin and dried her eyes. Without even bothering to change out of her uniform, she plopped herself on her bed and fell asleep.


I waited the whole evening for Sayako but she didn't meet me by the window. Is she mad at me?

"She must be busy, honey," okaa-sama smiled at me as I walked past her. "Sayako is a good child, she's probably studying. Knowing her, she studies for her exams a few months before!"

"Right," I laughed at my own foolishness. Sayako is very forgiving too. I put down the house phone and scratched the back of my head. "I'll see her in school tomorrow. Maybe I shouldn't bother her now."

"Smart girl," my mom patted my head and went on her chores. I proceeded to bed shortly after.

Little did I know, this was the first step that went wrong.


(a/n): Damn, it didn't reach 2000 words. ._. But, oh well! I had trouble with the title though. I hope you enjoy, and please leave me a review!