The fire crackled in front of me as we cooked corn and pieces of meat for everyone. I already knew I wasn't eating. Come to think of it when was the last time I ate? I brushed the thought aside, not worth my time, didn't matter I was still fat. Isabella put on the fire mitts that had been on the picnic table behind me and checked the food. "Food is ready!" She yelled to Lucy and Payton who were taking their turn collecting firewood for later. Jordan who had been sitting on my left got up to receive a plate and dinner. "Aren't you eating?" He asked as he came back with his now full plate.
"No," I don't want that corn covered in that pure fat they call butter and am a vegetarian, which ruled out meat.
"Why not?" He seemed—concerned? Why concerned for me?
"I ate a big lunch before I met Iz at the train station." It was a lie, but he didn't seem to be able to tell.
"You sure you don't want something?" He said his voice rising an octave with each word playfully. I almost blushed at the cute face he made with it, but stopped myself. Why would I blush over that? Snapping back to reality I remembered his question about me wanting food and realized my nod now was now quite delayed. He shrugged and sat down again on my left. He ate in silence as his family talked and sang while they ate on the opposite side of the fire huddled together. His family not yours, I reminded myself.
"Why aren't like the rest of your family?" I paused rephrasing as I tapped the cover of the book sitting on my lap nervously. "I mean why are you quiet, instead of singing with them? Or even sitting with them?"
"I don't know," he shrugged. "I'm exactly like you said, I'm simply not like them." I felt a raindrop hit the top of my head and he seemed to feel one too. The rain began to quicken as we all finished washing the dishes quickly. We ran through the rain to our tents for shelter. Lucy and Iz had a medium sized Marlboro cigarette brand tent that was set up about eight feet away from the one where Jordan, Payton and I would all sat in the tent and I realized that Payton was shaking.
"What's wrong?" I asked as thunder roared around me.
"Th—thunder…its so…" She was shaking even worse now and her brother put an arm around her in a half hug.
"You want me to take you to mom's tent?" He asked, I had a feeling he knew just as well as I did that the storm was getting worse. The little girl nodded in reply and they left me alone as they went into the rain after he managed to slip a small pancho over her. He returned in seconds soaked in rain, his long black bangs plastered to his face. He was still somehow laughing as he unzipped the entrance to the tent.
"Whats so funny?" I asked, thinking he was delusional.
"Nothing, I just love the rain!" That smile of his was dangerous; it was cute and made me want to smile with him even though I knew I couldn't. No, not couldn't, wouldn't smile back.
"Are you crazy?"
"Has anyone ever told you that life isn't about waiting out the storms, its about dancing in the rain?" He was giddy as he sat on the opposite side of the tent and I thought of how what he said didn't make sense.
"Why would someone dance in the rain? Wouldn't they just get all wet?" I was confused and he was crazy.
"Come on!" He said, all of a sudden his eyes widened and he was standing hunched over as his back scratched the top of the tent.
"Where?" His hand was held out for me now and I took it.
"I'm going to show you why I love the rain." Now I was convinced crazy wasn't a strong enough word to describe him. I wanted to take my hand back, but his kind smile wouldn't let me. So I let him lead me outside where the down pour would mask any noise we made. He grabbed both of my hands and I just stood there aware of the rain that was already beginning to soak through my bra. He spun around and I felt myself being dragged along. He was laughing as he now dragged me toward a ledge the edge of the campsite. "Isn't gorgeous!" He pointed out at the gorged grey water of the Delaware River that lay bellow as it rushed quickly over rocks. My eyes wandered to see the stormy sky in the background. He intertwined our left hands, and I felt my muscles tense slightly. I said nothing as he rested a hand on the small of my back he kept the space though between us as he led me in a dance. A dance in the rain. "You aren't a bad dance partner," he said laughing and I looked up into his eyes as he laughed. My jeans were soaked, my shirt was soaked, my bra was soaked, even my underwear was soaked and yet I laughed back at him.
"You aren't bad yourself," I replied through my laugh. When was the last time you laughed like this? When was the last time you let a guy dance with you?
"Thank you, for everything." He replied through the heavy rain that still poured down on us.
"What do you mean for everything?" Again I was confused and he was crazy.
"Thanks for the compliment, being my dance partner," he paused in his list to look down at my boring brown eyes, the expression on his face softening. "And thank you for laughing with me."
"Wha—" I had no idea how to respond and looked at the muddy ground. I was silent and he took advantage of the moment. He tried to pull me closer and I left him with the words ripping myself from his grasp going to the tent. I don't believe in love and yet I don't think I could handle being closer to you.
Hope you're all enjoying, the next chapter is called "Questions and Confessions"