Elephant

I can remember the tears.
I can remember the screamed pleas,
Both hers and mine.
I can remember trying so hard
To keep my voice down,
Not to shout, not to stutter,
To keep my composure in the face of all who sat there.

I tried. And I failed.

I can remember her murmur "I have to go,"
I can remember begging her, saying anything
And everything: a mix of the
Meaningful and meaningless.
I can remember hearing her pushing the "end call" button,
The sound of silence pushing against my right ear,
Completely deafening.

I can remember breaking down,
Speeding away from where I wanted to be
At fifty miles an hour.
Speeding away from her side.
Not knowing if she was okay,
Not knowing if she was alright.
Not knowing if she was either
Dear or Alive.

I can remember it all,
And I won't ever forget.