This is a sentence. This second sentence explains that the first sentence can be called a sentence because it contains a verb. Non sentence. Sentence fragment? I like. Short. This one will be a little longer, just because I felt like it. Here it will be explained that the previous five "things" give you, as the reader, a clear perspective on how the writer's brain works. Following the theme of the last sentence, this one will let you know that the writer is a very paranoid person. The paragraph will conclude by informing you that the writer can often be bored.

This sentence explains that, by starting a new paragraph, a new train of thought will be undertaken. Here the writer feels the need to inform you that this sentence contains exactly twenty four words, and so she has done so spectacularly. Two words. The writer is having fun. This is the second paragraph… and after the first use of ellipsis in this particular piece, you are now to be told that there will be five more paragraphs to come. The writer idly wonders if this is spoiling the surprise for the reader. The writer doesn't care. The writer imagines a troll face should be inserted here. The writer thinks it should be clear to the reader by now that this is, in fact, a self-referential story. The writer also lets the reader know, in case they haven't worked it out for themselves yet, that she clearly isn't taking herself very seriously anymore.

Smiling, the writer informs the reader that she is proud of her embedded clauses, such as this one here, and urges all writers to use them more often. She is a big fan of them. As well as sentence fragments. Here: another one. And another. Pretty. Smiley face. Here it will be explained to you that self-referential stories aren't as easy as they look. Now you're told that they're relatively easy too. Confused? Amused? Should the writer give up?

The writer thinks it prudent to let the readers know that she has had a thoroughly good time on the site this piece is being read. The writer hopes that it has been read beforehand too. Here it is assumed that the piece of work is going to receive more negative feedback than positive. A shrug is what the writer gives here. Here is a realisation that this is the shortest paragraph. Except for one.

"I wanted the self-referential story to contain some dialogue," said the writer, "so here it is."

A short break for the writer to scratch her leg. She might have fleas. This sentence acknowledges the fact that the previous two sentences are utterly irrelevant to the form of a self-referential story, that the writer is fully aware that the reader had no idea what circumstances the writer is in when writing. Now the story informs you that she's in bed. In case the reader wanted to know. The writer begins to wonder for how much longer she would be able to draw this out.

This beginning of the final paragraph, you'll be pleased to know, is here. The plot (if you think there is one) is running out of steam. Steam trains are cool... old fashioned. The writer's brother's best friend loves steam trains. See what the writer did there? Train of thought… different tangent… interlinked? Never mind. This is not the last sentence of the piece. Nor is this one. This paragraph needs to be a little longer to not infringe on any of the other statements in the story. This sentence confirms that the paragraph is now long enough. This is not the last sentence though. This one is.