I'm sitting on my bed
already for six hours or more
paintings inside my head
colored dark, tasting sour

how deep can one fall
if flies become your only friends?
abandoned by all
left with untouched hands

gently the mantel clock chips
moments from my shrinking future
words of air freeze my lips
and whisper about my departure

I close my swollen eyes
in search for an inner dreamscape
inside, I feel as cold as ice
a chilly gloom, there's no escape

but here I cherish my little secret
far away from outer nightmare
no one has ever found it
no one has ever cared

a precious doorway to Heaven
in the midst of vast barren lands
ever since I was six or seven
I walk these dusty sands

through the mists of doom
there's a small path to the mountains
once on the road, away from gloom
you can smell a thousand fountains

they lie where the sun touches the Earth
amidst a sea of ancient oak trees
a sacred place, symbol of rebirth
a place to embrace your enemies

sparkling water, silver blue
reflecting the calming sounds of a green meadow
as a mirror of the mind, so very true
blocking out every shadow

how I wish to dive these waters
portals to inner healing
to shake off my old feathers
hollowness replaced by feeling

the clock stops ticking
crystallizing time in the moment
as an infinite loop, always circling
no more pain, no more torment

this is only my little secret
very well hidden inside my mind
back in real life I don't like it
here, my Heaven I don't find

but the moment is there
before you know
not even a flare
only a flow

when the owl returns
flying in autumn rain
the dream is over, yes it burns
digging up the buried pain

I don't want to leave this place
but the gate is closing, very fast
again these shadows I must face
formless cries of an endless past

and though I'm locked within my soul
there's always a glimpse of distant shores
helping me to reach my goal
to find the keys to my inner doors.