Act One: Scene Two

Bobbicanite Forest-

Everything is dark. Nothing can be seen. Andrea and Alvin are hiding behind a large rock, watching Alexandra and Antonio. Bobbicanites hiding behind trees.

Bobbicanites are little, cute, stubby, blue people with green polka dots on their skin. They are extremely small creatures.

Alexandra: What's going on?

Antonio: No idea.

Alexandra: Where are we?

Antonio: No idea.

Alexandra: Why is everything black?

Antonio: No idea.

Alexandra: How did we get here?

Antonio: No idea.

Alexandra: Can you say anything other than 'no idea'?

Antonio: Wouldn't have a clue.

Suddenly, they can see.

Alexandra: Woah, what is this place? (Quickly turns to Antonio) Don't you dare answer!

Antonio: You are learning, young Alexandra.

Antonio and Alexandra look around for any indication of where they are.

Alexandra: All the trees are oddly coloured. That one has purple and pink polka dots.

Antonio: You see it too. I thought I was going crazy or something.

Alexandra: You already are crazy.

Antonio: Why thank you, dear twin.

Alexandra: Oh, shut up.

Antonio: Your wish is my command.

Alexandra sees a sign.

Alexandra: Look, a sign. Maybe is has some information (pulls Antonio towards the sign. She examines it thoroughly. The sign is blank). It doesn't tell us anything, literally.

Antonio examines the signs. He notices a spray can beside the sign and picks it up. Alexandra snatches it away.

Alexandra: We should name this place. It's a weird forest with all its odd plants and trees, what should we call it? Ant, any ideas?

Antonio doesn't respond.

Alexandra: Ant, do you have any name ideas?

Antonio doesn't respond.

Alexandra: You don't have to shut up now.

Antonio: No idea.

Alexandra: (Annoyed) I hate you.

Antonio: No you don't.

Alexandra spray paints Paul on the sign.

Antonio: Paul, why Paul?

Alexandra: Because you're being stupid.

Antonio: But, why not Steve?

Alexandra: Well, why not Joe?

Antonio: That's a great idea. We should call the forest Joe.

Alexandra: No.

Antonio: Why?

Alexandra: The forest name is Paul, and that's final.

Antonio: But, Joe is better.

Alexandra: (Shouting) it's Paul!

Bobbicanites: (Singing to mysterious music.)

A name, a name,

Our home now has a name.

Heroes, heroes,

From where have they came.

We love them very dear

Because, they gave our home a name.

Antonio: What was that?

Alexandra: No idea.

Antonio: Who's being stupid now?

Alexandra: I learn from the best.

Bobbicanites: (Singing to the same music.)

Are they evil,

Are they good,

The aliens standing in our wood?

We don't know,

It's a shame,

Because they gave our home a name.

Alexandra: Good, we are good.

Bobbicanites: (Singing again.)

They look like them,

They look like those,

The ones who stole our names and toes.

To chat with

We aren't game,

But hey! They gave our home a name.

Alexandra: Ant, you can sing. Sing back.

Antonio: Why?

Alexandra: Because I can't sing, twin.

Antonio: Well twin, I don't want to.

Alexandra: Ant sing now.

Antonio: Ant no sing now.

Alexandra: Ant sing.

Antonio: Ant no sing.

Alexandra: Alex uses beg (gets down on knees in a begging fashion).

Antonio: Ant deflects beg with solid no.

Alexandra: Alex uses puppy eyes (makes puppy eyes at Antonio).

Antonio: Ant deflects puppy eyes with puppy-eyes immunity.

Alexandra: Alex fells sorry for resorting to this measure. Alex threatens Ant with blackmail.

Antonio: (Antonio groans) Blackmail is effective. (Antonio sings; mysterious music appears.)

My name in Ant,

I come from Earth.

This my sister,

I've known since birth.

Alexandra: A fact I am not proud of.

Antonio: Did you notice the music?

Alexandra: You heard it too.

Antonio: Yeah, what was it?

Alexandra: No idea.

Antonio: Really Alex, really?

Alexandra: Absolutely.

Antonio: I reckon it's your turn to sing Alex.

Alexandra: Really, I don't.

Antonio: Go on twin, time to shine.

Alexandra: (Starts rapping. Different music appears)

My name is Alex,

Just so you know.

And, this is my twin,

He's kinda slow.

We wanna get home,

So since we helped you,

Perhaps there's a way

You can help us too.

Antonio: (Annoyed) you never said I could rap.

Alexandra: (Ignores Ant's remark) did you notice the different music.

Antonio: Yup. (Starts rapping, new music starts.)

Listen up good

Little sister dear,

Cause I'm about to say

What you don't want to hear.

I'm your older brother,

And you know it's true.

Even if it's by

Just a minute or two.

We play by my rules,

Is that understood?

You follow me,

I'll get us out of this wood.

Alexandra: (Raps to her music.)

This ain't a dictatorship,

You're not my commander

I don't answer to you,

Even if you think you're grander.

And for your information,

You don't know the way out.

So you haven't a clue,

What you're on about.

Who cares if you're older?

It's a short 'mount of time.

And, age doesn't matter,

When you're in the lime.

I might be better

At leading away,

Cause I have a brain

And you just have hay.

Yeah-

It's true-

Don't be telling me

That you know what to do.

When in all of our tests

I get higher than you.

Although I don't know

The way to get out either,

I have brains and skills,

While you have neither.

My first order of business,

This is what I say,

We ask whoever's singing

Whether they know the way.

Antonio: Not bad, but see if you can handle this. (Rapping to his rap music)

Well, Alexandra

That wasn't bad.

I hope what comes next,

Won't make you mad.

So, you're brainier,

I'll say it's true.

But, you know I'm

A better leader than you

Who is picked

To captain teams at school,

It isn't you,

Leading makes you a fool.

Tough you're acing

Every test and project,

I'm the one at school

Who carries title of prefect.

Okay-

Come on-

Regardless of what

My test results say,

I'm better at leading

Any and every day.

And asking the singers

Isn't brainy

Anyone could think of it,

Even the zany.

So just admit it

You know I'm correct.

When it comes to leading,

You're a last place reject.

Alexandra: (Annoyed at his final insult) I'm a what! Aint no way imma letting you go for that.

Well, twin hear this

From the mouth of the reject,

I didn't audition for

Role of prefect.

But, Mrs Meredith

Asked me too

Because she thought I

Could do it better than you…

(Cut off by Bob jumping out from behind the trees.)

Bob: Is that common singing from where you live?

Alexandra and Antonio stared at the little, stubby, blue person with green polka dots gobsmacked. They are amazed to see such a creature.

Bob: (Oblivious to their gobsmacked state) well, is it?

Alexandra: (Quietly and forcing herself to speak.) Yeah, it's called rapping.

Antonio: (Equally quiet.) What are you?

Bob: We do not have names; they were stolen, along with our toes.

Alexandra: They stole your toes?

Bob shows Alexandra a toeless foot.

Alexandra: They stole your toes!

Antonio: Did they cut them off or something?

Bob: No, they just pulled them off while we were sleeping at night.

Alexandra: Right, well considering what's going on I can believe that.

Antonio: Yeah, I'm going to believe it to.

Bob: None of us have names or toes. We can survive without toes, but we simply can't without names. You two, you know how to make up names, could you please make some up for us?

Alexandra: I'm going to call you the Bobbicanites.

Antonio: (A bit angry) Eh, you named the forest!

Alexandra gives Antonio a stern, don't-mess-with-me look.

Antonio: Bobbicanites it is.

Bob: (Excitedly) what about me, what should my name be?

Alexandra: (Shrugs) Bob.

Bob: Sounds like a lovely feminine name.

Antonio and Alexandra stare at Bob critically.

Antonio: Feminine?

Bob: I am a female.

Antonio: Oh, okay… (Voice trails off.)

Alexandra: Yeah, okay… (Voice also trails off.)

Bob: Could you please name all of us?

Alexandra: How many of you are there?

Bob: Thirty two not counting me.

Alexandra: Do you know how to get out of here?

Bob: Yes, I do.

Antonio: We will name you all if you tell us how to get out afterwards, okay.

Bob: Agreed.

Antonio and Alexandra commence naming the Bobbicanites.

Alvin: (Whispering to Andrea) No, they have them, now. How do we get those two away from them?

Andrea: (Whispering to Alvin) I think they're called the Bobbicanites now.

Alvin: (Still whispering) How do we get those two away from the Bobbicanites? They're going to kill them.

Andrea: (Whispering) those two or the Bobbicanites?

Alvin: (Whispering) The Bobbicanites will kill them.

Andrea: (Whispering) we have until they've finished naming.

Alvin: (Whispering) No, they're going to invite them to a feast tonight, that's when they'll kill them. They'll be invited to stay at the local inn until then, and hang around town. Mayor Bobbicanite will make sure they are treated well, to entice them to stick around. So, they'll have the best room. I say we plant a note there.

Andrea: (Whispering) no, Mayor Bobbicanite will know we will try to help them out. She won't want to waste time. She will have them captured straight away. They won't be given the reception we were given.

Alvin: (Whispering) how do you know?

Andrea: (Whispering) a woman understands a woman's mind.

Alvin: (Whispering) only a woman can understand a woman's mind.

Andrea: (Whispering) aren't they standing on the sifter?

Alvin: (Whispering) yes, and that's a brilliant idea.

Andrea dramatically whispers in Alvin's ear. No one can hear except Alvin.

Alexandra: … And you, sir sheriff, shall be called Bobbi, while your deputy shall be called Bobbican.

Antonio: Gee Alex; you have Bob, Bobbi, Bobbican, what's next?

Bob: This is the Inn manager. (Nods at Uncle Sandwich)

Alexandra: Uncle Sandwich.

Antonio: Really Alex, really?

Antonio turns away to continue naming.

Bob: Take these chocolates; they are a gift for your brother and yourself. (Bob hands Alex a bag of chocolates.)

Alexandra: Thank you, Bob. (Alexandra stuffs chocolates into pockets.)

Rock hits Alexandra on the head. She falls unconscious.

Antonio: (Panicky, shaking Alexandra) Alex! (Turns to Bob) who threw that rock?!

Bob: That wasn't us.

Bobbicanites move in closer towards Antonio and Alexandra.

Antonio: Then who was it?! Alex, wake up!

Bob: I do not know. Let us take her to our hospitals.

Ground shakes, Bobbicanites are falling down holes that have suddenly appeared. Holes are too small for Antonio and Alexandra.

Antonio: Woah, earthquake!

Bob: (Bob lunges at Antonio. He is screaming) I want human! (He bites Antonio's foot.)

Antonio yelps in pain, then kicks Bob off. Bob falls down a hole. Andrea and Alvin run to help Alexandra and Antonio.

Alvin: Are you two okay?! (Alvin uses his own clothes to bandage Alexandra's head.)

Andrea: We have to get out of here before those horrid creatures find a way out!

Antonio: How did you make that happen?

Andrea: We asked a guy, who knew a guy, who saw this guy, which worked for this guy, who was cousins with this guy to make it. It cost us so much food it's not even funny.

Antonio: What?

Alvin: This is no time for chit chat. Like you said, we have to leave before the Bobbicanites get out. (Alvin picks up Alexandra.)

Andrea: He's right, come on!

Andrea leads the way, followed by Antonio, then Alvin carrying Alexandra.