sometimes,
I disappear
into the dark patches
of my mind.
they suck me in.
make me overanalyze
every little thing.
is this a bet?
maybe a joke?
why me?
why now?
I've spent so long
being unhappy
that my brain
can't compute these emotions.
it wants to feel them all at once,
and just as readily
take them back
and hide them away.
to protect myself.
I want to believe
I don't need protecting,
but my mind is wary
and my heart is tired
of giving itself up
to boys who make me smile.
I want to believe
that you're different
and that this will work,
but the dark
still creeps in.
I try to keep it at bay
and you do a good job
of helping me,
but…
every now and then,
I disappear into the dark
once again.

"Pessimism Gets the Best of Me"
2013
Devin Liotta