To Be Me
I feel so frustrated as I pick up this pen,
I realize that I don't even know where to begin;
I can't figure out what I really want to write,
And a part of me wants to throw this paper out of sight.
I was once mad at the world, wanting to give in,
Like, "I'm sick of playing games with you, life, you win";
But a part of me knew that I had to move on,
Everyone was saying how I had to be strong.
I went about my business with the fakest grin,
Just plastered there, between my nose and my chin;
I tried to show the world that I had spirit,
Didn't back out of any challenge when I was in it.
I would cheer people up with words of optimism,
Even though I was the master of realism;
Helping people with their problems helped me too,
Gave me hope that I'd be solving my own soon.
Everyone would say, "That girl must have a good life,
She seems like the type of gal who's seen the light!"
Some people didn't like me the way I really was,
So for their sake I didn't pull my mask off.
Don't we all hide behind masks sometimes?
Keep us guarded and safe, tells people we're fine;
But I have to tell you, that tough girl wasn't what she seemed,
Sometimes she went crazy, if you know what I mean.
Phantom of the Opera, Dr Jekyll, Mr Hyde,
I guess even they had a tendency to hide;
To want to be somebody else sometimes,
Or to come across the thing they'd been trying to find.
The truth is, really, I'm just like you,
I'm human, I make mistakes and I hurt too;
I may seem like the type to stand up and fight,
But sometimes all I want to do is fall down and cry.
But now, no more hiding; time to be myself,
I want my mask to gather dust there on my shelf;
This is who I am, this is who I'll always be,
If you don't like it, I don't care, because this is just me.
A/N: This was written after some particularly frustrating encounters with the popular cliques at high school. :P