Heart-Broken

Everyone says its impossible

People say we're weird

No one knows how hard it is

No way will our relationship work

But

NO matter what

We have faith in each other

Anytime I'm without you I'm heart-broken

I miss you all the time

I know for sure that

If you truly wanted to

You could truly break my heart

Because I am positively

In love with you and I don't think that will ever change.

You may not feel the same way

No matter what you say

I trust you with my whole heart

I know you love me with all your heart

I just hope you can keep remembering that

While your hours away…days away…months away

When will we see each other again?

Will we see each other again for our 1 year anniversary?

Will you decide that it's too hard

That you want to give up

You say

You want a future with me

You're in love with me

You'll do the best you can

But how can I trust you when I know that

I can't trust myself

You ask simple things of me

For my protection

But anytime I get bad

Anytime I want to hurt myself

Maybe one day I'll succumb

And you decide you can't handle my needs

I try my best to keep my promises

But that urge to harm myself to get me normal again

It is way too strong sometimes and I can't handle this

I want to be strong

I want to be brave

I want this to work and

I love you

But I worry you'll

You'll stop loving me

Find someone better near you

And you'll leave me in the dust

I hate that I feel this way

I hate my insecurities

But at the same time

I never know what you do when your 'chilling'

If you are lying to me through your teeth

I wish I knew for sure

Maybe what everyone says is true

Maybe it is too difficult

Maybe we shouldn't be together

I miss you so much

And I know you miss me

But can we really make this work

This long distance relationship

With all of my insecurities

And all of the possibilities of a better relationship for you

You say I have a big heart but you don't know anything

You don't know how easily it breaks

I told you once you can't make me promises

I say this because I have been disappointed so often

By the people whom claim to love me

And if you did this then I know for sure that I wouldn't

I couldn't handle

I wouldn't be able to handle trusting in anyone ever again

If you actually read this then you may understand

But remember this is just me saying that I want us to work

I want to be with you

Just I want some guarantees which we can't have

No matter how much we want them