I Deep Burning Desire

Rusty Crantz had a secret; A deep, dark, guilty secret he kept hidden away deep inside his heart, where it pounded against the interior of his ribcage with the force of an atom bomb 79 times a minute; A secret that tore at the very core of his existence, ripping him apart, soul and sanity, fiber by individual fiber of his being; The secret in question? He wanted to watch a movie.

But it wasn't the movie craving itself that troubled him so, but instead the specific movie he desired to see that gave him such pains in his heart and caused his knees to quake like aspens in the wind. Star Wars? No. Terminator? No. Indiana Jones? Not by a longshot! The film in question was called Nicki The Witch. It was about a young witch named Nicki who goes to a big city and makes a living delivering packages by flying up to people's apartment windows on her broomstick.

But that is most certainly NOT the sort of motion picture that a boy in his late teens should want to watch! Did he want to see the film for Nicki's bombshell good looks? No, because 1) she was approximately middle school age, and 2) Nicki The Witch was an animated film. And due to the abnormality of this desire, he was eternally tormented across the planes of time and space, unto ages of ages with self-consciousness, as he crept towards his place of destination, step by step, each footfall creating a shockwave on the ground that only microbes could feel; left—right—left—right.

He finally reached the exterior of his destination, nervously reaching his sweaty hand out to grasp the door handle. Upon making contact, he attempted to move the handle in the motion necessary for opening said door, but alas! The sweat on his palm made his hand slip, so that instead, he had to use both of his hands. Finally, he managed to get the door to open. He stepped into the video store.

The store's interior was easy on the eyes, the decorating scheme based around smooth edges, cool colors such as various shades of blue and soft carpet. The premises also smelt pleasantly of a combination of freshly vacuumed carpet and clean plastic. He began making that long nervous walk toward the family section.

After what felt like an eternity and a half, our young Mr. Crantz finally reached the section, which was by mercy of the gods themselves organized alphabetically by title, so that he would not have to spend any more time there than absolutely necessary. He began searching the shelves for that film which deep in his heart he so desperately guiltily longed for: J—K—L—M—N—NA—NE—NI—Nick—Nicki The Witch!

He had found the film! Now all that our hero had to do was extend his arm outward, toward the video in question so that he may extract it from the shelf. He craned his right arm upward and forwards, praying that the internal hydraulics didn't fail. Yes! His arm was now level with the film. All he must do now is move it forward towards the glittering prize. He moved his arm forward. 12 inches and closing; 10 inches and closing; 8 inches and closing; 6 inches and closing; 4 inches—

"Finding everything alright, sir?"

The shock of that particular young video store employee shattered the trance that our young Rusty had fallen into, and taken him completely by surprise. He was hurled backward by some unknown supracosmic force that caused the shelf opposite the one containing Nicki to shake somewhat.

"Oh, uh… yeah…" said Rusty, trying to throw off suspicion, as well as the hammer of that young man's judgment, when lo! He looked and walking in the door were his friends, Gilbert and Chrome Bumper! He knew that he would have to abort the mission this time, for it was too dangerous to continue with them present.

"Oh, look at the time!" said Rusty, pretend-glancing at the neon clock on the wall, "I gotta go do… that thing… at that place… that's… not here!" He turned for one last glance at his movie. The video on the shelf was in a bright blue slip with 'Nicki The Witch' written across the side in stylized golden text, and a little picture of Nicki—a cropped version of the front cover image—at the top end of the video slip. The tape seemed to almost mourn with poor Rusty over the failure of the mission.

"I'll be back for ya," whispered Rusty as he made for the door, almost in complete, ghost-like silence, save for when he managed to knock over a display of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, drawing many stares as he scrambled for the exit. The door ding-a-ling'd as it opened and closed behind him. Rusty Crantz had left the building.