No reprieve
Without arbitration
I no longer exist in the present
But goodness
It feels amazing
When you wanted to see me

But right now
It will not be easy
To except the impermanence
Of that moment

Here

I want to sink so far down
Under my skin
I swear I could see your shadow
Even in the dark
To see how bad I let it get
I let it get under my skin
For months stuck in my heart
I know turning back both hands
Will not send me to the smoking gun
At the starting line

But I can still make claims
Knowing what it feels like to be so oblivious
To every intentional cry for help
Gift wrapped behind angel kisses
Like the end of "The Notebook"
Right before they died
Or like the cute zoo animals
Who were ripped from their homes
And stuck behind a cage
To rot and die

Now

I dwell on pasts way too much
So far back
Thinking I could change it
But it's impossible to put back spilled water
So I'll just swallow my back words
The next time I run into you
We can pretend
that we are same friends
And I'll just try and forget
What it felt like to be wanted