Dear journal,

Today was a Friday, but not one of those high Fridays, where everything goes right and nothing could ever stand in your way. I thought about a lot of things, and I'm still thinking now. Like my bathroom, for instance. There are three light switches in my bathroom. One of the switches is for a bright light, one of the switches is for a dim light, and the last switch is for the fan.

In the morning when I wake up, I always switch on the bright light, the regular light, first. I scrunch my nose up a bit and squint my eyes and look at myself for a moment. Then I automatically switch off the bright light and turn on the dim light. It makes me look more like the other girls at my school. It makes me look more dramatic. It hides the circles under my eyes.

Usually right around that part, I switch the bright light back on with the dim light. Because I realized something important. The dim light hides my flaws, but it hides the real me with them. And I guess that if all I want from you is the truth, then it is hypocritical to look at a fake version of myself.

You wore your black skinny jeans today and I can't help but look at them. I wonder if you pick out what you wear the night before like I do? Or maybe guys don't do that. Maybe you pick it out in the morning before school. I can just imagine you rushing around the corner to catch the bus.

Maybe it's my imagination.