I'm not saying my Life is a Horrible one or a disaster.
I just wanted to show the world what a teenagers life is really like, why we act the way we do, why we feel pressured or why some of us hurt ourselves.
So this is my Story.
But…it all made me who I am now
Dear Diary (sounds so cliché)
Nice to meet you!
I am Mika and I will be keeping hold of you from now on! So maybe I should give a account of my day so far.
Well it all started off at school (ugh!) where I was forced into doing a painful amount of work while trying to ignore people's comments about me. Usual really. You know the people I'm talking about. The ones that hang around in groups. Girls with too much fake tan and the boys with jeans that hang WAY too low of their hips. Call me old fashioned, but they look like clowns. Anyways…they made the normal remarks and comments, deciding that they are part of a social hierarchy.
I've kind of grown used to it now.
I've just started to accept people's comments and even believe in some of them! I even asked my mum if I could go on a diet just because a boy called me fat! It's silly now that I think about it! Even my friend (we shall call her Garnet) has fallen into the trap of fast paced diets and throwing up before you digest the food. It shows how society is making young teenagers feel. Putting beautiful pictures of models everywhere and having every porn video filled with plastic filled women, with blonde hair and big you melted them you could probably make lego blocks!
Haha, anyway…my life isn't all teenage stereotypes. I have a wonderful adopted brother who was ready to give me cuddles when I got home and force me to play Power Rangers with him, as well as a loving mother and her partner. I never have been close to my dad. He left me before I was born and only got back into my life when I was 11 through Facebook. I was naïve back then , thinking that my Dad would come into my life and make everything great, now I wish I never looked for him. I always promise myself that when I get married my Granddad will walk me down the aisle, as he was always my father figure.
And I have Susan (my mum's partner) who is amazing. In some ways having two mums is better than one! It means you can talk to them both about everything! And also shes lovely! I often ask for her to adopt me, beg even, but with all the costs I don't think it's going to happen. Even so, I'm going to have my name changed, that way I can really feel part of the family.
Of course having lesbian parents comes with its problems.
I have always told people I have lesbian parents as I don't care, but it does hurt when people tell me that my mum is a dyke, and that I've caught the 'disease of her'. It doesn't hurt me as such, but I always wonder how my mum would feel if she heard those comments. I've gotten used to been called as lesbian and having people laugh or shout out at me in the corridors.
If I'm so used to it, why am I crying?
Because imagine what abuse a actually gay teenager must get! It hurts to think the world is like this, especially while I'm a 14 yr. old girl!
Haha, maybe I've ranted to much!
Night Night Diary x