a letter for the abandoner. a letter for the girl who gave up (on me). a letter for the girl i once called (my sister). a letter for (Jessie)

i thought you loved me. people dont leave people (they love). im better now, you see. my tumor made me happy. made me forget the pain and the hurt and the lies and everything ( .) but you were gone. you took up the name of abandoner. you said you loved me. you "still do". but how can i believe you if (youre gone)? i cried myself (to sleep) every night for (weeks). i was so scared. scared the old mariah had driven you off of (the cliff), the brink of (insanity). i read our messages, i read your words and i (cried) with hurt and (love) for you. i thought it was a sign, a sure sign, when i remembered you but nothing else. i didnt remember who i was, what i did to myself, or why. but if someone said "jessie" or "jess" i instantly remembered my sister. i remebered i loved her and she was hurting and i was the cause. i remembered the happiness she made me feel. but then i remebered being abadoned. im not hopeless, jess. i promise. you did make me better. and im so sorry it didnt seem like i was worth it. im sorry you had to leave me. if you hadnt left me first, i would have. i tried so many times but you didnt want me to. you wanted me to stay and be okay. (i tried so hard) but you know what? its okay. i would have left anyways because your happiness matters. not mine. so thanks for everything. i appreciate it.