So here I am waiting on the park bench, my long dark curly hair hung down as I look at my black converse. Waiting for what you ask. Waiting for my boyfriend. His name is Jack and he is my best friend but sad to say he is not the guy I dreamed about last night. I close my eyes trying to picture him again but nothing comes to me except at night. My heart jumps to life as a loud honk sounds off behind me, I jerk my head around to see who is behind me. I feel my soft smile spread across my face as I look right into Jack's eyes. The sky blue that fills them takes my heart for a summersault and I have to snap my self back to reality. He signals for me to come and I pick up my old black shoulder bag from the bench beside me and drag myself to his car. I think he is so lucky, his grandparents gave him their old Cadillac and now it has a fresh coat of paint and the speakers blast louder then before. I pull the car door open and slide into the passengers seat but I hardly get the door closed before he's kissing me. All of a sudden my skin becomes hot and my urges begin to rise and I don't want to stop kissing him. He's running his hands on my sides and I can tell he's ready to move further. What if I say no and he gets mad? Or I let him and I regret it more then anything? It was too late all my thinking made me stop kissing him and when I realized I opened my eyes to find him looking at me concerned. I jus watch his face and look at the lips I wish I hadn't stopped kissing. "What's wrong baby?" By now he was really looking concerned. I shifted my weight in my seat trying to come up with something to say was the problem. Then it came to me like a bullet through my heart. "Umm my moms gone again, till Sunday." But then I realized I said the wrong thing cause he looked even more confused. He sighed and moved back to his seat, looking at me again saying "that's never bothered you before." I didn't have time to say something before his foot was on the gas and there was no use talking to him when I had basically just turned him down. His driving is as reckless as always and I can't wait to get out of the car. I watch the trees fly by the window and find myself staring at the girl in the side mirror. She blinks once or twice and a salty warm tear rolls down her cheek. I haven't cried in a really long time so I wipe it fast so he hopefully doesn't see and continue to stare at her. I begin to criticize her for being weak and tell her to never act like that again. The car then comes to a halt and we are in the school parking lot. Jack takes my hand and says he has to run off and can't walk me to class today. When he releases his hand I realize he left the keys there but before I can say anything he's already out the door. I watch him walk away then end up pulling down the mirror to examine my eye make up. I see the smear of eye liner from the tear and try to wipe it away. When it disappears I try to smile but can't. I hear the school bell ring but my body doesn't want to move from the seat. I just kept staring at the eyes in the mirror and tell them they shouldn't cry like that in front of anyone. What kind of a relationship is it if I can't show how I feel? A bad one?