My life = utter shambles. Or at least it was, at one point. And I'm not saying that because I was some 14 year old girl whose boyfriend broke up with me, but rather I'm saying this as a 23 year old woman who found out a year ago that, not only did my boyfriend break up with me, but also that I got fired from my job, ruined my favorite dress in the history of dresses, and had to live with my worst enemy.
How did all of this happen so quickly? Well, lets rewind.
I woke up with high hopes for the day. From looking out the window I could tell that it as sunny outside without a single storm cloud in sight. That is the first sign of a good day. Unless, of course, you like storms, and in that case it would be the other way around. Yep.
Nonetheless, it was a sunny day and I woke up incredibly happy. It was even what I had officially named 'Cheat on Your Diet Tuesday', which is why I made myself a big, hearty, and smile-inducing breakfast that consisted of blueberry pancakes smothered in syrup, scrambled eggs, a blueberry muffin, and a big glass of orange juice. That's when I noticed a blinking light on my answering machine. I clicked play while I was staring at my feast at the table. Voice mail number one was from my cutie pie boyfriend, Joseph.
"Hey babe," Joseph said, in that sweet and sultry voice of his. I giggled unexpectedly.
"You know, I don't really think this thing we've got going on is working out. I think it's best if we uh, break up."
Note to self, never pick up a glass of orange juice and take a big gulp of it while you're listening to a voicemail from your now ex-boyfriend. There is a good chance that you may spit out your orange juice and ruin your now orange kitchen counter. I quickly grabbed a towel from the drawer and wiped the counter off before the orange liquid dripped on the carpet. Really, who was the person who decided to put carpet in the kitchen? And beige carpet at that.
Now how did it go even more downhill from there? Well, you'll just have to keep reading to find out.