Written by: Darcy Burleson
Creative Writing: Non-Fiction Piece
A family vacation may have been just what my brother and I needed that July. Three months prior, we were sent a wedding invitation from our birth father. This invite was completely unexpected; I hadn't even known that out birth father had been dating someone! A nerve snapped in me that I had no clue was twisting up inside of me. That night was filled with my mother, stepfather, elder sister (from my birth father's first marriage), and me yelling and telling off my birth father. I felt abandoned, neglected and unloved and this caused countless nights of me crying into my pillows after everyone had fallen asleep. I cut a lot of people off, not speaking to anyone except for family, and friends whom I considered family. Yeah, a trip to a naval base- Point Mugu to be exact- was just the right medicine for my brother and me.
Point Mugu is a naval air station that a family friend- The Branstetters- lived on some years back, and they had invited us to stay for Independence Day week. My parents agreed without hesitance, which ended with the seven of us packing up and going down to Point Mugu. I was still sore and upset about what happened that April with my birth father, but I put on a cheerful smile to keep my younger three siblings happy and excited.
The first night, July 2nd, was really just a "getting settled" day. My sisters were sleeping in Regan's room, while my brothers were sleeping in Austin's room. My parents were sleeping in the living room on the air mattress we brought with us. I had been given the option of either sleeping in Regan's room or out in the living room on one of the couches. That first night, I slept in Regan's room; but it was too crowded with my sisters and Regan in there as well. When I awoke the next morning, the 3rd, I decided that I would be sleeping on one of the living room couches for the remainder of our visit.
The 3rd was our beach day, on a small beach on the naval base. I know, a Naval air station by a beach- how ironic. My siblings remained near the shore while I waded out into the water till it reached between my hips and waist. As I was wading in the dark blue water, a giant fish thing came out of the water and dove back in about four feet behind me. I immediately thought, 'Shark!' and ran out of the water to get back to shore.
When I sat down on my yellow and orange stripped beach towel, I found that the adults were laughing at me. "What's so funny?" I asked while taking deep breaths to regain control of my breathing.
"You just ran from a dolphin," Vonda- my mom's close friend- laughed.
After getting over the initial shock I had, I laughed a little as well. It was my first laugh in a long while and I laid back to enjoy the warm sun light.
Later that night, I went to bed on one of the couches. The house was silent and dark, me staring into the shadows in the living room. Little by little, I fell into a deep slumber. As I slept, I resided in a sort of… fog. The fog clouds of green and blue surrounded me; the area had no other life other than me, until I heard a male voice behind me.
"Daughter of God; be not afraid," he spoke out, his voice gravely and warm.
I turned around and found a man dressed in a black business suit, but his suit jacket was unbuttoned and his white collared shirt was un-tucked. His hair was charcoal black, messy, like he just got out of bed, and his eyes… those were eyes that you could stare into for hours on end, the color of blue ice crystals that looked right back into your own eyes and saw your very soul. I also noticed a soft golden glow that outlined his body.
"Am I dreaming? This doesn't seem to be a very normal dream," I asked in a soft voice.
He smiled and I felt a calm feeling rush through me. "Dear child, this is only an empty place in your mind. I have been sent to calm your angst-filled mind and soul. Father is in grief to see one of His daughters in such harm," he explained, walking closer to me.
"Sent? What are you; an angel?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms across my chest.
He chuckled. "Yes, I am an angel. My name is Castiel and God sent me to you as a comfort."
I shook my head. "With me, not a lot of comfort can fix me; not after what happened…" I whispered.
"What John Burleson did to you is not what God wanted for you. The abandonment and neglect he made you feel is stopping you from living the life God has for you." He reached out and touched my shoulder, but I jerked away.
"How do I know that you aren't some product of my imagination or sent by the Devil to corrupt me?" I growled.
He sighed. "Your faith is shattered because your trust in others is broken. You have closed yourself off from everyone close to you. Your parents and family are worried. Megan is worried. They miss the happiness and joy that you bring. You are a shining light." He took my hands in his own. "Let go of the darkness that is locking the light away."
When he touched me, my body relaxed and I felt truly calm for the first time in three months. It was a feeling that I missed in life. I looked up into his eyes and asked, "What if someone else leaves?"
"I am always here when you need me, dear child. You only need to think of me and I will be with you," he promised.
His voice was honest and sincere; no hint of deceit in his promise and eyes. My eyes swelled with tears and they dripped from my eyes. He released one of my hands and wiped a tear from my cheek.
"Good things do happen," he whispered.
"I have been sent an angel… I had thought God forgot about me," I admitted, my voice cracking.
"Never will God forget His creations. You are a unique and special child. Let the hurt go and live the life God has waiting for you."
I nodded, blinking the tears away. "Castiel… thank you, for helping me."
He touched my hair. "We will be watching," he said. With a soft kiss on my forehead, everything faded.
I opened my eyes to the sun shining through the glass door and windows. I sat up and found everyone in the kitchen eating breakfast. I looked down at my hands and smiled to myself, feeling calm and relaxed. I still felt "his" kiss on my forehead.
"Morning, Baby Girl!" My mom said in a chipper voice.
I turned to look at her and my smile grew. "Morning, Momma!" My voice matched her voice. I got off the couch and followed her into the kitchen, greeting everyone with a smile.
Yeah, I still have some trust and abandonment issues, but I wasn't letting them show. I just think back to that vacation and think of Castiel and his promise. He was always there, but not actually there. When I felt upset or forgotten, I felt a simple touch or kiss. I know it is him and it is always him. An angel of God is watching over me as I live the life God has planned for me… and I am okay with that.