In a Pickle
I walked up to him. Sweat dripping down my face. Why did this have to be so difficult? Since when did asking a guy out for a friend become so hard? I had to do it. There was clearly no way out of this.
Just walk up to him and say, "Hey, my friend Emily has this huge crush on you and she wants to know if you want to hang out sometime or… something?" Yeah, and expect a very positive response like "Oh, yes, Emily! Her eyes sparkle like a sunset on the waters of the Atlantic. I accept of your request noble acquaintance! I will hang out with her!"
I reach my arm up to tap him on the shoulder. Colin. His name is Colin. Emily had had a crush on this idiot for years, but she never got the nerve to ask him out for herself. She once tried passing a note in history class but it never really made it to him. Brian had to read it first. Stupid Brian. Anyways, my finger comes in contact with Colin's bony shoulder. He snaps his head around, briefly exiting his conversation with his friends.
"Hey! I'm Jessica, Emily Bolour's friend," I said uncomfortably.
"Oh, hey. What's up?" he replied.
"Well, uh, you know Emily and uh, how she's kind of shy; not that that's a bad thing but she kind of, well not kind of but she just wanted me to tell you that she likes you. WAIT! No, she didn't tell me to tell you that, she wanted me to ask you if you wanted to hang out with she, I mean her. Her." Screwed that one up. One shot at successfully asking your best friend's crush out for her and you start talking like you just regained the ability to speak. UHG! I'm a mess.
"Wait, did you say Emily Balker or Emily Bolour?" he asked.
WHAT! No, no you do not ask that after someone just takes valuable time explaining about one specific person! Why did she have to fall for this buffoon? Either way, I decide to tell him who I was talking about.
"Oh, um, Emily. Bolour I mean."
"Oh, I don't know her. Sorry."
And with that, the idiotic buffoon jumped back into his group talk. 'At a way! Don't even attempt to contemplate all the classes you were in with Emily. Yeah, that's cool. Just turn around. Zone me out. That's fine! I'm down with that.