There is an eternity in here. Endless time and space fill my mind. I don't know what to do with it. I want it to be beautiful, but I also want it to be hated. How do I do that? Make it dark? Give it colour? How the hell do I go about this? It shouldn't be so hard. Think, not too long, and what? Do I set it up first as to avoid mistakes? Just. . . Do it? I'm going to fuck it up, aren't I? Shut up. If I worry about it, I'll mess up. I'll mess up if I don't, so what's the use? Isn't this supposed to be relaxing, like a vacation? I don't even know what to do. I thought I liked doing this.
The frustration passes as quickly as it came. I create a windmill. Flowers. A field of colourful spots. Now a blue sky, with a single cloud. I am the ruler of this place. I am Queen of the Universe in these minutes, hours, days, my mind finally quiet and alone.
There. I set down the paintbrush. My time in the canvas is done for now. I'll come back soon. There's so much I need to do.