Reviving Old Feelings
A ton of bricks. That's what it felt like. As soon as I saw that text, it was like a bunch of old, strong, feelings hitting me like a bag of bricks. I never thought that I would see those words again. "Hey boo, guess what? I'm coming back to school there! See you soon! xoxo – Krista." My heart skipped a beat when I read it. Hell, I reread it to make sure I was right the first time. A smile crept up on my face, then panic. What's going to happen now? Are we going to try again? Or are we just going to be friends, with a little more meaning than the usual. I kept telling myself to stay calm, but underneath it all, I could feel some excitement. I took a breath and replied; "Hey baby 3 I can't wait to see you again! Mwah!" This school year is going to be very interesting…
A few days before school, Krista and I had been texting and talking constantly. I couldn't help it, talking to her made me giddy. I had told everyone that she was coming back and their first and only response was, "Are you okay with this?" Krista was my first real girlfriend and she was my first relationship in high school. Of course I would be okay with this! She moved away just after we made things official and ended things quick, but we always kept in touch. I never truly got over her because she meant a lot to me, so us encountering again¸ everyday¸ after a whole year without seeing each other was making me anxious. We kept our feelings alive while she was away and kept a secret relationship. A few people had known but only people who we both trusted. As the days got closer to school, we both revealed how anxious we were getting. Our conversations went something like this:
Her: Boo, I want to see you already! :( I miss you so much…
Me: I know I know, don't worry! I'll see you tomorrow right?
Her: No… I'm not registered yet, they said by Thursday I should be though /:
Me: What?! So I won't see you till Thursday?! Hmph :(
Her: Nono! I can't wait that long, I'll come tomorrow at your lunch okay?:*
Me: Alright baby, it's a date :* Hehe, I can't wait :')
Well you get the idea. Our conversations were corny but she never failed to make me smile. In my eyes she was perfect. After we said our goodnights I couldn't sleep. I was too excited to see her, and if not excited, really anxious. I took a good half hour smiling like an idiot while staring at the ceiling fantasizing about what would happen. Would we try at our relationship again, was all I could think about. I reminded myself not to get my hopes up to high, but, when do I ever really listen to myself? Ha, never. My advice was totally useless, especially when it comes to her.
Tick, tock, tick tock, tick tock. Time seemed to have slowed before lunch came. Just one more minute, I told myself and I could see her again. Ring! I jumped out of my seat in English and sped my way downstairs. I had grown impatient and was already freaking out. Everything was distorted and it was hard to focus on my surroundings. I heard a very familiar voice, a voice that would calm me down. As soon as I gathered myself up for a few moments, I located her voice and ran towards her.
"Thera!" Running and screaming trying to control any form of excitement. Of course she didn't look surprised at all, she was used to me running and screaming, I was a wild child. "Uh, hey, are you good, child?" She looked at me with curious grey-blue eyes and a stern voice. It brought me back to realize my surroundings and I eased up. "She's here" was all I could get out. She knew about my relationship with Krista, and knew how I have been anticipating for this day. Hell, she was the one who was helping me get through it. As I said it, I saw her expression change. "So then go get her! What are you doing here? Oh! And tell me what happens! Text me okay?" With that said, I left and went to look for her. Obviously I wasn't thinking at the time and it was when I got a text that my brain started to function again.
Her: Boo, where are you?
Me: I'm looking for you! Baby, where are you? :(
Her: Go out to subway I'll be there in three
Me: … it's raining outside!
Her No it's not, it's only drizzling. Please come? :(
Me: Aya, okay I'm on my way! DON'T LEAVE!
Her: I wouldn't leave either way until I get my kiss so hurry up!
Soon after that, I was out of the school and heading across the street to the plaza, in the drizzling rain. It was dark and gloomy outside, but I let the sad feeling slide because I was incredibly happy. Nothing could ruin my mood at that moment. My mind was focused on one thing, her.
Half-way through the plaza, I started sprinting. I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to see her. On the way there I was thinking of how to go up to her. Should I just hug her? Kiss her? Or wave awkwardly and say 'hi'? No, I can't do any of those things; I'll look like a fool. Once I had reached the doors to subway I stopped dead in my tracks just outside the door. Everything that was running through my mind and making me more worried had disappeared. My focus was on her and nothing else. There she was, standing in line waiting to pay for her sub. She was in black tights, a black and gold Adidas sweater, hair up, hoop earrings, and black moccasins. Perfection was all I thought. I took a deep breath and went inside. She was turned around and had no idea I was anywhere around. I debated on what I should do, but I was already moving. I took a step and tapped on her shoulder. My heart was beating like crazy that I though anyone could see it beating through my uniform. As soon as she turned around, everything happened so quickly. I felt her head bury into my shoulder as she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. Taken back at first, I put my arms around her waist and held her like I had before. It felt natural to me, as if she never had really left. Now that she was in my arms, it was hard to believe that she ever left. We stood there looking like idiots because the cashier kept calling her so she would pay and leave but no, she stayed there with me. Once we pulled away she looked at me, smiled wide, and hugged me again. I could feel the blood rising to my cheeks, but I didn't care, I was back with her. Nothing could have made me happier.
"I've missed you so much…" she whispered and held on tighter. " I missed you more, beautiful." I pulled away and kissed her on the cheek. I would have kissed her lips, but I know how she feels about PDA. Her skin was soft and I was concerned if my lips were too chapped or too wet. When I felt her kiss my cheek back, I couldn't help but blush again. She hugged me once more, but this time she was holding me gently. I held her waist and kept her close. I honestly did not want to let go.
Krista and I spent most of my lunch together. Hugging constantly, trying to cuddle on the benches. We ran into a couple of friends who were surprised to see us hand in hand, but it didn't stop us. We continued to walk around and talk and I had totally lost track of time. It was when we realized that the plaza was almost deserted of high school students that we checked the time. Weirdly, at that same exact moment, it had started to rain. "You should go, I don't want you to be late for you class," her voice was sad yet sincere when she said this. "I'll walk you to the light and then I'll go." I started to walk ahead but then she started to protest. "No! Do you not see the pouring rain?" She almost yelled that. I turned around to look at her and stood my ground with a smirk on my face. She knew she wasn't going to win this argument. After trying to argue once more, she gave up. We were walking underneath the roof that was just going over the curb when she almost slipped. I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards me. "Clumsy girl…" I was holding her close and my grip around her had tighten. I couldn't help it. I was staring from her eyes to her lips. She felt right in my arms, but I didn't have the guts to do anything. It took a lot, but I looked down, cleared my throat and eased my grip around her waist but didn't let go. Now she was walking ahead of me with my arms around her. I felt her slow her pace down so that her back was fully against me while we were walking. I couldn't help but smile and kiss her cheek; it was cute of her to do that. Just before we left the curb and the protection of the roof, we stopped and hugged, knowing we wouldn't get that chance with the pouring rain at the stop light.
"I don't wanna let go…" As corny as I sounded, I meant it. I loved having her in my arms, it felt right to me. I heard her sigh and felt her pull away. I didn't want to seem clingy so I let her, but I couldn't let go. I looked in her eyes one last time and then kissed her cheek. She gave me a small smile and I started to play with her hands. "I have to wait two more days to see you…" I was looking down at this point, it was killing me to say bye to her, even though I knew I'd see her again. She let go of my hands and hugged me again, burying her face in my shoulder. I heard her whisper, "I'll come tomorrow again, okay?" She pulled away, smiled and grabbed my hand. We walked quickly to the light and as soon as she was able to walk she said bye and ran off to her building.
Today was absolutely perfect. I continued to text her throughout the rest of the day. In the middle of one of our conversations, I accidently sent her a text that was supposed to go to my friend and it said, "Nothing much, playing COD and texting my girl." I had never been so embarrassed but she found it cute. Once she said goodnight, I was replaying the day over again in my head until a loud buzz disturbed me from my daydreaming. When I checked my phone, I saw that she was texting me again.
Her3: I'll stay up till 11
Me: Miss me already? ;P
Her: Yeah :$
Me: Awww 3 you'll see me tomorrow don't worry! :)
Her: I know but like… I kinda love your smile
Me: Stop it :$ I like yours better tho :*
Her: Iunno, after not seeing you for such a long time, seeing you smile again, gave me butterflies…
Me: I've missed your smile too. I had crazy butterflies running to subway. I literally stopped when I saw you. I just.. I've missed you so much. I'm still trying to take in the fact that you're really back 3 But I'm so happy that you are :$
Her: Ugh I missed your hugs like mad. When we hugged, I didn't want to let go
Me: Trust, I didn't either. I was so sad that I had to go… I was talking about you for the rest of the day, I couldn't help it.
Her: Aww :$ I can't stop thinking about you. When I saw you… all the feelings that I had for you came back and hit me like a ton of bricks :$
Me: I know what you mean… seeing you again, it just brought back everything I felt for you before, probably even stronger than before :$
Her: Boo, I love you 3 I'm going to sleep okay? Thanks for making my day :$ Goodnight!
Me: You made mine is more like it. Okay, sweet dreams baby :* I love you mwah!
I let out a sigh and set my phone on my chest, closed my eyes and smiled. Everything was perfect and nothing could go wrong at this point. I have the most amazing girl in my life, and I get to call her mine again, what could be better? Tomorrow would be just as good…
Lunch time came and I went out across the street again to meet Krista. I met her at the light and my jaw dropped. Since today was fairly warm, and the sun was out, she was wearing a pink v-neck shirt and black short shorts with a pair of flats. Like before, her mocha skin was flawless and her body was perfect. Completely speechless, I just stared as she walked towards me. "What? Do I look bad?" Trying to gather myself, I held her at her waist, kissed her cheek and said, "You look beautiful, as always… well... more like sexy… Did you really have to wear short shorts?" She laughed as I whined and she started to walk away, showing off her butt. Damn, I completely forgot how big of a tease she is.
When we got tired of walking around the plaza, we sat on the curb just outside of the plaza, it felt secluded because we were basically behind the plaza and we were surrounded by trees. We were cuddling in s corner and were going through the pictures on her phone when I noticed that she took screen shots of some "conversations" we had during the previous Christmas.
"Oh my god, Krista, you printscreened that! Why!" I tried to take her phone away but she leaned away and kept it out of my reach. "It was cute! Plus, if I ever need anything to you know… I can just look at this." She winked then laughed as I tried to hide my red face. She was sitting on my lap, my back was against the wall, and she was against the wall beside us. Our fingers had managed to intertwine with each other without either of us noticing. As she continued to talk about some of her pictures, I couldn't help but gaze at her. When she noticed she stopped talking and we just looked at each other. It was like those cheesy movie scenes when two people are just staring at each other and saying nothing. Leaning closer, getting closer to each other's faces, inch by inch. Our noses were touching and she smiled. At that moment everything was perfect, just one more inch and… Hoooonk! A car at the street ahead took us both out of the moment. I let out an angry sigh and checked the time, 11:20. With another frustrated sigh, I put away my phone and looked back at her. She gave a genuine smile, but her eyes were almost sad. She knew I wanted her and from the look of her eyes, the feelings were mutual. We got up and I walked her to the light again.
"Come over after school? My mom won't be home and I don't have plans today." Her voice was soft but impatient at the same time. I smiled and agreed after giving her a hug goodbye. "I'll text you when I'm coming okay? See you later." She let go of my hand and I watched her leave. She turned around and gave a quick smile. I knew that there was a different meaning under that smile.
After lunch, I grew more and more impatient because time seemed to slow down even more as each minute passed. As soon as final bell rang, I was off. Rushing out of my last class, I grabbed my things and headed for the door. I texted her quickly telling her I'm on my way, and as I reached the stop light, I saw her walking down the sidewalk. The feeling of impatience and frustration went away as she got closer and I saw that smile on her face. Her smile made me smile, and I'm not afraid to admit that I fell in love with her smile when I first saw it. She grabbed my hand and led me to her building.
Our time together was perfect. We had made some food, put on a movie and was cuddling on her couch. When the movie finished, we were both too lazy to get up so we just sat and talked. As time passed, we ended up lying down on the couch. I was on my side and with her back facing me, she cuddled against me. Our fingers had been playing with each other and when there was a silence, we both heard the pattering of rain hit the window and the sound of thunder.
"Man, I gotta walk home in that…" I dropped my head and let out a sigh. "It's only 3:30, stay until like 5, or at least wait until the rain calms down." I looked down on her and noticed that she had closed her eyes. The sight of her falling asleep made me smile. I let go of her hand and wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer then pulled the blanket on top of us.
"Try'na get lucky?" I looked down and she was smiling and looking up at me. She was perfect. Her smile was mesmerizing and her eyes were light because of her dark mocha skin. She turned her body and was on her back, I was basically hovering over her. Her arms managed to wrap around my neck and I held her at the waist. Just like before, it was like those cheesy movies. Only this was real, it was happening. We got closer and closer till our lips touched. Perfect. The curve of her lips filled mine easily and any space that was between us before was gone. We pulled away slightly, breathless, and look into each other's eyes, and smiled. I leaned down again and then suddenly there was a loud crack of lightning outside. The sound made us jump, then suddenly another loud crack. I look down to see how Krista was doing but she was gone. Another crack!
I sat up, almost jumping out of bed, looking around confused. My heart was racing and I had no idea what was going on. I took another look around and saw that I was in my room, on my bed, and there was a storm outside. I checked the time, 3:32am, February 5th 2013. It was only a dream. Everything that seemed so real and perfect was only a dream. I let out a frustrated sigh and fell back into my bed. Just before falling asleep, I noticed how I felt. Everything felt light and airy and my lips were moist. I hadn't licked my lips or drank any water… Was it a dream?