The world glittered, and I loved it.
I watched the trees grow, and was glad.
The earth turned beneath my feet, and I flew high
upon the winds of my own joy in life.

The darkness crept up
in fits and starts,
and I welcomed it at first,
as a new thing to explore.
It took hold of me though, and
I found myself loosing the ability to see.

The dark bears down, screaming
fear,
fear,
fear yourself
.
I was always afraid of people,
but at least I knew who I was.
The darkness has erased me from myself.

Now I lie scattered
across the states I ran through,
trying to escape.
Bits and pieces of me
(but who am I?)
cling to everywhere
I have been, and I hate them.

I am a narcissist, a fool.
I am a lonely wreck.
I let people slip through my fingers
because I don't understand how to say
(I need you)
I love you.

But don't you see?
I do not talk to you
because I ruin things.
I do not want to
bother you with me.
I am covered in the slime of my
fear,
and I will just make you dirty like me
if I call.

You are better off without me,
but I am
so,
so,
selfish
.
I want to be happy,
even if I do not know how sometimes.
I want you to be proud of me.

I am nothing unless you care.

I will take my undeserved chances.
I will hide my darkness to keep myself intact
in everyone else's eyes.
I will not give up,
but I am already empty, and one day I will fall apart.
I think that day will be my last.

Until then,
I won't bother you with me.