Chop Chop CHOP…
Oh that nice aroma that came from a lifeless body, an aroma that filled myself with a chill that no other could. I always wondered how I felt so powerful when the aroma strokes me, it is something unique, something I like. A hubby.
Surrounded by a field, I felt how the aroma was stronger with each step and with each step how my body could feel even better.
Scush, Scush. SCOSHHH!
The aroma felt even bigger now, I could smell it perfectly fine. I stared around, the moon was there and the grass was there. The stars were shinning as always and the moon lighted all the field where I was standing. There was only one small house that I could see from where I was standing, it seemed like an old farm.
Ahhh! Please stop!
No, why should I? I am not even moving, am I?
Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht Kisht.
I felt something in my hands then, I looked to see what I had. It was a knife with bloodstains in it, and then I stared at my dress that also had blood all over. What was I doing here anyways?
I shocked my head to smell the aroma again, and closing my eyes, I hugged myself with my arms. I enjoyed this aroma, I really did.
Then I opened my eyes, and saw corpses of many people that were surrounding me, like a big spiral that went from where I was standing to the farm house. I walked through them without saying anything, without feeling scared or without feeling any other fear. There were kids with heads off, with no hands or with all intestines outside their bellies. Others were adults, the majority of them had their eyes open and mouths filled with blood. Some of them also were missing some extremity or looked like if they had been tortured. Women, men, and kids where lying in a path that guided me through…
A girl, there was a girl with black long hair and white skin. Her eyes were closed as her mouth was; she looked more alive than what the other people looked. Just like if she was lying there in the green grass sleeping. I could even hear her breathe.
I stared at her for minutes, admiring her.
There was still the aroma though, the same aroma came from her. Though there wasn't any blood.
Who is she?
"Helen… Please wake up!" I opened my eyes then. Was it another dream? I thought, I was lying in the bed, all sweaty and with a heart that felt like if it was going to come out of my body.
Pum Pum Pum.
My mother was hugging me, she had tears falling from her eyes. She was sobbing so hard that I would bet that all neighbors would notice. My father was standing by the door, covering his eyes. I could see only half of his body since the candle wouldn't help too much at night. I hate candles. I hate darkness.
"Helen, are you ok?" He said uncovering his eyes.
"Yeah, I think I am okay" I said, my voice shivering.
"Oh God this one was even worse than last night" My mother said stroking my head.
"I know" My father said sitting on the bed at my side. He put a hand on my shoulder and patted carefully. He wouldn't hug me because he doesn't like hugs. "We need a new doctor" He said standing up.
"A new doctor? Again?" My mother said still hugging me, she stared at my face taking it with her hands. "None of them had helped us" She said with her head down.
"I will be okay, maybe it's too much medicine" I said looking at a small table that was on one side of my bed. On top there were some candles and a few books for my studying, on one dark side of the table I could barely see small bottles and some pills all over.
"No, medicine will make you feel better" My father said opening the window. The sun was almost up, though the sky was still a bit dark. My father knew that I liked the morning breeze and that it helped me to relax when I had all those bad nightmares. They must know a lot about me, I have to tell them everything I feel and like so they can make me feel more comfortable. "Catherine help Helen change, they told me about this doctor that lives near the woods, we should make him a visit."
They say I am sick or something, no one knows, not even the best doctor in the city knows. They just stare at my pale face and do that disgusted face, after this they would only give me medicines and tell me I have violent nightmares. That's it. I know there is more going on, because I know how it feels, it is not just some violent nightmare that torments me day and night. When I am at home, sometimes I feel someone staring at me. Sometimes I hear voices calling different names. Oh and the song! There is always a song in my head. Just as if it was coming from some musical box, which I have tried to find with no luck.
My parents and some people in town find me crazy, some of them think I am interesting, there are even some that think I am the daughter of the devil, this all started because I was born death and after two days my heart was beating. Yeah, they say I was revived by the devil.
They are just ignorant. I am normal as them, I just feel a bit different.
After an hour or so, my father and I drove to the south of the city to visit Dr. Johnson. My father told me that he moved from Spain to the United States a year ago, and that he had become really popular since he had cured almost all of his patients. One or two died from surgeries. He is a psychiatrist as well, but I am guessing he is more focused on his medical career.
Now we were standing in front of a big house. It was Dr. Johnson's house, a really big mansion that kind of looked alike my house. It had this brownish paint and lots of big windows all over, on the front there was a big garden that had mostly roses. I could barely see them from where we were standing, but I perfectly distinguish them.
After a while, a woman dressed in a servant uniform came and bowed her head. She smiled, opened the gate and led us through until we were inside the house. Inside was more beautiful than the outside. Almost all of the furniture was painted in a gold color and all the walls were white as the floor was. The windows were covered with gigantic golden curtains, it was a really amazing house.
"Mr. Will, finally I get to meet you" A tall and elderly man said walking towards us. He smiled at us and shook my father's hand, then say me, took my hand and kissed it gently. I never liked kisses in the hand, though it was the polite way to say "hi" to a lady. But that's just me, women think it is polite and attractive. How can a kiss from an old person be attractive?
"Miss Will, it's a pleasure, my name is Alfred Johnson" He said as I bowed my head and smiled. He smiled back and stared at my father with happiness. "So, how can I be useful today?" He said leading us to another room. This room looked like a clinic of some sort.
"Well I am guessing you already know I sent you a letter" My father said as we seated. He was sitting in front of us, a large desk in the middle. "Helen had been having trouble to sleep and this had continued for almost a year since we moved from Europe, some other doctors have diagnosed her with violent nightmares" He said taking my hand as if he was giving me some support. He always does.
"How do you feel Miss Will?" He asked staring at some papers, ready to write in a blank sheet of paper.
"Well after an hour when she falls asleep she starts talking alone and sweating and…"
"Mr. Will, I asked her, she is the one with the problem" He said staring at him and then back to the papers.
"Again, what do you feel young lady?" He asked me as I stared at my hands. No one have asked me how I feel, my father is the one that always give the details of what happens every night. Of what he sees.
"Well, I" I started but couldn't make any more sound. I have never said what I felt in front of any doctor or even my father. Again, he always sees, but he never knows the feeling or the other stuff that happens. It is not only the nightmares. "I…"
"Yes?" He said eyeing me, one pen on his left hand.
"I…" I said, then I stared at my father looking for some answer. At least some inspiration.
"Mr. Will, can you leave us alone for a minute?" He said staring at my father. My father nodded and stood up from the chair. I hold his hand tight not letting him go. I don't like being alone. I am always alone in my nightmares.
"I am sorry doctor, Helen doesn't like being alone" He said, his hand was turning red.
"It is okay, I am here, she isn't alone" He said staring at me with a big and creepy smile. I let my father's hand go then he patted my shoulder again and went out the room. I stared at the doctor, all my body was shaking.
"Now, can we continue Helen?" He said smiling and going back to his notebook. "How do you feel when these nightmares happen… or are they more than only nightmares?" He said writing my name in his notebook. He had pretty cursive, which for a doctor was really unusual.
"It… It is more than that" I said letting my words out. "Sometimes when I am dreaming I feel as if I was a different person. My thoughts and body feel different, though somehow I tend to like it" I said, he stared at me. "My father always say that I am violent when I am sleeping, that I look like if I was going through a lot of pain" I said playing with my hands and my dress. I guess I was nervous, or embarrassed. "But the truth is that I never feel pain, I just wake up and my heart is racing, and I am sweating, and somehow I feel scared. But I never feel pain. Not at all" I said, then I stared at him. He was staring also, as if I was some monster, though he didn't looked scared or disgusted. He was just staring. There was a big pause until he opened his mouth to say something.
"Miss Will, I have known about you since I moved here from Spain, I know you were the girl that revived after two days being born death" He said closing his notebook. "I think that is pretty amazing, now, you are telling me that you have violent nightmares that don't cause any pain" He said standing up and seating on one side. "There is more going on, right?" He said staring at me and taking my hand with his.
"Miss Will, I don't think you need a doctor"
I stared at him for a second, wondering what he was thinking off. It scared me, though somehow I knew he could be a good help.
The melody was there again, it was in my head… it always is.