This is my new story, I hope everyone likes it.
This story is based off of the anime/manga of Eyeshield 21, I in no way own the original story but all credit goes to Riichiro Inagaki. I do however own the idea for this story. It is not necessary to have read the manga before hand because this is an AU fic.
Also, I have read a lot of fanfiction were Hiruma swears ALL the time and it's really annoyed me so I'm not putting it in. If that bugs you, you can put it in through your mind. I hope you like my story.
The day had been grueling and hard but that wasn't going to be stopping me because I still had football practice, the one place I felt like I truly belonged. I still was picked on during the day, though it wasn't as bad as before, once I was in that messy clubhouse I became Eyeshield 21 and nothing else mattered. I was strong and nothing could hurt me anymore. I was finally unafraid.
It had been getting harder, week after week to feel like that and that was the fault of one person. The person who brought me here, who made me feel safe, who gave me a once and a life time opportunity - Hiruma.
Every time I saw him I could feel my heart leap out of my chest and my breathing would go ecstatic, to the point you would think I was hyperventilating. I knew, just knew that Hiruma could see through me. He always could read me, well everyone like an open book. It was my biggest fear that he would find out, find out that whenever I looked into those demonic green eyes my heart would falter and every time he smirked at me heat would rise to my face. I was terrified that he would find out I had the biggest crush on him.
Would he throw me out of the club? Would I never be able to play football again? Would he use it to blackmail me in some way? Or more importantly, would he hate me? Be disgusted with me? Look at me with those Beautiful, hypnotic eyes with so much vile disregarded and then reject me with an icy voice?
With so much confusion and fear about his one thing I couldn't feel like the club was still my sanctuary anymore. I dread going, he would know soon. I was horrible at lying and Hiruma was smart enough to figure it out. No one would ever call him slow. He could spot a love sick puppy from a mile away; I had seen him do it before.
That was what I was, love sick. It was ridicules. Who in their right mind would fall for that bulling, blackmailing, jerk of a demon but I did. I couldn't help it. As I got to know him better, the more I saw of what was underneath that cold, men person the more I fell.
It hurt; it hurt a lot knowing that he would never feel the same about me. It hurt knowing that no matter how hard I try I was always going to be either that 'damn chibi' or star running back Eyeshield 21. My insides gave a sharp squeeze every time I thought about it so I tried not to but every once in awhile it would pop up. Usually when I'm trying to sleep. It would come up before I could even think to stop it. The tears would come through my tightly shut eyes even as I begged for them not to. They would fall all over themselves as they went down my cheeks and stained my pillow. When I did end up being able to sleep it haunted my dreams.
The nightmare was always the same, me standing before the feet of Hiruma and him just laughing as if he heard the funniest joke in the world. Then his voice as cold as ice but still with a hint of maliced humor would say
"Me, love you? What a joke. Who could love someone as pathetic as you?"
And then he would walk away, not even looking back once to see if I was alright. The words would ring in my head as if being played on a recording but it was true. I was pathetic and I knew he would never love me back.
Shaking my head to rid all thoughts as I approached the locker rooms, I knew he would figure it out soon but there was no need to be sporting it on my face like it was old news. The locker rooms were clean, though most wouldn't expect it but it was because of Mamori, and I was thankful. There were a couple of the boys still in here changing. I didn't like changing in front of people because I was so small compare to them; especially Kurita, one good push from him and I would be tumbling onto all fours.
I waited until everyone left to begin changing. Half way through, meaning I had on my pants but no shirt, the door opened. Shrieking like a girl I wrapped my arms around my wiry and bruised, from the bullies and football, frame. Looking over my shoulder I saw Hiruma starring at me and I felt my ears go red from embarrassment from both the shriek and being half naked. I quickly turned my head back so he couldn't see my blush.
I heard a chuckle and knew it was too late. He already saw my flaming face. I wasn't worried because if asked I could play it off as if I was embarrassed to be caught with my shirt off. I was sensitive so it was believable even with my horrible lying ability.
"What is it?" I asked as I scrambled to but my shirt on.
"Just coming to see what was taking you so long, you damn chibi" Hiruma replied
There it was, that name I will forever be called. I could feel my heart give a sharp and painful squeeze. I took a deep breath to steady myself before turning around to show I was ready to go. Hiruma left first and I followed, when would ever not follow. We walked to the field together and I could feel my face go hot again with the realization that we were only a few feet away from each other.
"Go run around the school 10 times as a warm up" Hiruma told me as he called everyone to him so that they could start another drill.
I did what I was told without question. It was a surprise to be told to do only 10; usually I was order to do more. Maybe he wanted me back sooner. The blush crept up my cheeks again even though I didn't mean it in the way, that he would want me...like that but just the fact that he needed me made my heart feel like it was on cloud fifteen. Up and above cloud nine. I knew it would only end in heartbreak but for right now I tried not to think of that and just let myself have this moment. I nearly flew through all my warm ups and thankfully was able to shake the dreaminess away before I had to face Hiruma again. I didn't want to give him any more clues then I had to.
"There you are, took you long enough. They have been order to do the drills involving foot work. So get in there cause heaven knows that you need all the help you can get, you damn chibi" he snarled out in his normal way
That last comment strung a little but I tried not to show it as I went to work with the others. As I was running toward the others it was like a light bolt (spelling...?) went on in my head. Maybe if I worked really hard and got a lot better at football Hiruma would notice me more. Then the more he noticed me, the more he might began to see me in a different light. He might see me as something other than a brat or pathetic or weak. It was worth a try. So with renewed determination I threw myself into the training.
I came early to every practice and stayed late after everyone was gone, going over the same drills again and again. I did them until I was sure I could do them perfectly in my sleep. I got up early in the morning to run hours before school. I watch my food intake so that I would have enough to keep me going through the long days. I pushed myself over and over with only one thought on my mind - Hiruma . This was all for him, I wanted him to look at me and only me. Even though I didn't want to I knew I was slowing down and that angered me. It showed me how weak my body really was.
The nightmares had been becoming more frequent and now after it had woke me up I couldn't get back to sleep. My appetite kept dropping and though I knew I wasn't eating the right amount for how much I was working out I thought I was doing okay with everything considered. I avoided Hiruma all together, until I was better I couldn't face him. Now that I knew the depth of how weak and pathetic I was, I couldn't face him. I couldn't do anything. I needed to be strong. If I thought those things about myself how much more would Hiruma .
So I worked myself to the bone, not letting up for even a moment. The weekends didn't matter, friends didn't matter, and school didn't matter. The only thing that did matter was Hiruma liking me. It wasn't until Sunday that I looked at myself in the mirror. I was almost made myself ill with what I saw. The bags under my eyes dark, my face pale and skinny, my hair flat and without its normal shine but more than anything my eyes seemed lifeless, dead. I turned away, disgusted with myself to the point that I couldn't look anymore.
Turning on the shower to hot, I stepped in. The hot water seemed to turn everything in to ashes, even though I knew that when I got back out those eyes would still be there to haunt me. When the water started to go cold I got out. The mirror was fogged up so I didn't have to see the horrid sight that was myself. I needed more, more of what I didn't know but more of something. I would strive for it and when I got it I could finally go to Hiruma and he would see me in a new light.
That was all I was asking for, was that too much. I crawled into bed, even though I had no intention of sleeping it was late and it would be good to let my muscles relax a little before my morning run in a couple hours. I wonder if Hiruma had noticed a change during practice. I was sure I was getting better and I hoped that made him proud. With a slight smile on my face, I drifted into a slight doz.
We were in practice, Hiruma was shooting orders at us from the sideline, telling us everything that we were doing wrong and how to correct it. I thought I was doing really well, all those extra practices were doing me good and I was so happy. The whistle blew telling practice was over. Everyone began to go to the locker rooms but I knew that I was going to practice some more so I didn't move. I was just half way through the ladder drill when Hiruma called me out,
"Hey chibi, come here. I want to talk to you"
I nodded and came over to him. He led me back into the lockers and to his private captain room. I fidget with the hem of my shirt, worried about what this could be.
"Sit down," Hiruma said after a few minutes of me just standing in the middle of the room
I did not need to be told twice, I sat down in the chair across from the desk that Hiruma took a seat behind. I felt like I was a little kid that had been sent to the principal's office, not that I had ever been sent there but if I had been I'd imagine that it would be like this. I waited for Hiruma to speak as I did not want to be scolded for talking out of turn.
"So chibi, you want to tell me what has been going on?" Hiruma asked and he must have seen the confused look on my face because he began to explain
"You have been ignoring me, your friends, and have been spending all your time practicing. I have Mamori yelling my ear off like it's somehow my fault that you suddenly took an interest in learning how to play football. So explain!" he said in a half threatening voice that told you he meant serous business
I swallowed nervously and my hands began to sweat as I wrung them together. This was not good, I couldn't tell him the truth. I was terrified he was going to smell the truth off of me like some bloodhound.
"I, uh, just want to get better. I can't expect to beat people like Shin if I'm doing a half-hearted job in training."
It sounded phony even to me own ears. It would have been a good excuse if I didn't sound so nervous and freaked out. Hiruma stood and slammed his hands onto the desk in front of me. The sound made me jump.
"That's not it, I can tell your lying to me. I hate liars. Tell me the truth!" he shouted
As he was talking he walked around the desk and put his hands on the arm rest on either side of me. He leaned in closer and closer to me. I could feel the steady pounding of my heart began to race and a red hot blush spread across my face as those dark green eyes tortured me. Suddenly he moved away and a malice full smirk spread across his face
"Oh, I get it. It's because you like me, maybe even love me"
It was spoken in such a cynical voice that it made me shiver, I knew whatever came next was not going to be good and wanted to runaway but somehow my body was refusing to listen to me. It felt as heavy as lead. He started laughing at me and my face blazed in shame.
"Hahaha, that's to funny and so very disgusting," Hiruma said that last word with so much vile hatred that it had tears springing to my eyes
"I hate people like you, weak and pathetic yet still hoping to get what they want. It makes me sick to even think about it. Get out of my face, and don't ever let me catch you in my sight again."
It was that voice again, cold as ice with maliced hatred. I must not have moved quick enough because Hiruma's hand shot out of nowhere and hit me. I went flying back into the wall next to the door. My hand flew up to my stinging cheek as the tears poured out of my eyes as I stared at Hiruma. I saw him open his mouth to say something but I didn't want to hear anymore of his rage filled words. Finally being able to make my body move I ran out of there.
I ran faster than I had ever done but it wasn't fast enough because I could still hear the ringing of Hiruma's wicked laughter.
With a jolt I awoke from the terrible dream. Sweat poured off me like water and my heart was still racing. I felt sick, Hiruma's words rung through my head and I couldn't think of anything else. The worst part was that I knew that it was true, it hurt but the truth rarely didn't hurt. That was why it was so hard to hear.
Curling my legs up and in to myself. I set my arms on them and then my head on my arms as I began to cry. The tears poured out of me as if they were blood and the sobs raked my body over and over again. The loud wailing sound was pathetic even to my ears so I could imagine what others would have thought if they hear me. I cried to myself until there was nothing left. I stayed in that position, my body just trembling as I rocked back and forth, until my alarm rung signaling it was time to get up for my run.
R and R
Thanks to everyone reading, if you have any questions or thoughts or advice I would be more than happy to answer, listen to, or take to heart so pm me!