night skies sparking like burned-out

christmas lights, a reminder of the winter long gone.

warmth in the sleeves of my jacket but not in your hand -

it's freezing into ice like the rest of you.

you're here with me, but you're there with her, too.

i wonder which one calls you the loudest,

which one you return home to.

am i the dream, pale at midnight and

wondering at the stars for all of life's questions,

or is she, golden like summer and bright like rain?

maybe, right now, i don't care.

i want to hold onto you forever

but i'll settle for this moment

and save the truth for last.

when you look over at me,

can you tell my heart beat flies straight

out of the atmosphere and into heavenly spaces?

can you tell that even though even though i break into a

thousand pieces when you kiss me,

galaxy's explode and reform and fall in love and move to Paris

at the same time?

and in the dark of all those

burned-out christmas lights

do you find yourself reaching for her skin

or my hand?


take your hands off him -

he's the only one i have ever loved.