Hey, it's me, Ansley. I always start my prayers like that. I know it's silly, but you have a lot of people in the world and sometimes you may need that reminder of whose prayer you're listening to. So, that's my little helpful reminder of mine.
I just wanna say thanks again. Thanks for helping me out. I'm going to church this Sunday. I know you already know that, but it feels good to write it out. I'm GOING TO CHURCH! I'm ridiculously excited about this. I know you're probably laughing up there at me; I understand. I laugh at me a lot too.
Remember that break down I had? I think it happened about a week ago now. After I listened to those sermons and lost it? I cried and it was the gross kind; the snot running down my face mixing with tears. The silent crying that rips you apart? Yeah, you know the kind I'm talking about. You've witnessed it from me a few times in my lifetime.
I feel like that's when you opened my eyes. You said "hey, Ansley, come on. Seriously? This is the best you got? I give you everything in your life and you treat me like this?" I felt bad about it, too. You know that.
But after that night I just feel better. I'm learning to forgive. I know I'm not gonna change in a week. I know that's ridiculous when people say that; people don't change with the snap of a finger.
I'm happier, though. I know that. I know you can be happier in just a day by letting go.
I also want to thank you for putting my director in my life. Really; I know you put her there for a reason, and it's good. She's helping lead me to the light, really.
I think I'm gonna be okay. I mean, I'm already okay; I just know that I'm gonna be better than okay.
Please forgive me of my sins. I know I've sinned so much more than I could even count. Thanks, God. You rock.