A/N: Don't say I didn't warn you: this story largely involves all-male gang-rape. For this I apologise, because I admit that it's very wrong, but there's a story here, and it's one of the horrible things I just had to get out of my head. Also, I apologise for the ending; I couldn't leave this story sad, I just couldn't do it. No matter how hard I try, no story of mine can have a bad ending.
PLEASE REVIEW WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED! Maybe, if people actually care, I'll write a second chapter, though it's currently intended to be a oneshot. We'll see~ And I'm not sorry for the ridiculous little bit at the end. No regrets. None.
Shameless spam: .com My tumblr, which is host to all the previews of random unfinished things and old things that may or may not hold your interest. Also, there's some snippets of a future story involving an incubus, which is the most fun I've ever had writing anything.
My high school principle once told me that the school gym would end up like my second home, a place to interact with my friends and teachers and to experience the best times of my high school life. But as I stood against a wall, watching students from twenty years ago mulling about like they still belonged here, I felt nothing but apathy. No, I was forcing myself to feel nothing. If I was being honest, I felt downright depressed by the place. My eyes drifted toward the gap behind the open bleachers. I snapped my attention away over and over, but I couldn't resist the subconscious urge.
With a heavy, pitiful sigh, I slowly approached the dark opening. Everyone had thankfully matured since their years here, and for the first time there was no one hiding back there. I hesitated for a long while to enter, nearly overwhelmed by bitter memories, but it was those memories that ultimately drove me to crawl through the metal bars and sit down in the darkest corner I could find.
I imagine that I was a pretty pathetic sight, with my face hidden in my knees, weeping miserably beneath the bleachers. I was a thirty-seven year old man, and I was still crying about something that happened in high school. I don't know how long I sat there, making the most undignified noises I'd ever made, but no one noticed. There was no one who looked under the bleachers for a worthless waste of tainted flesh like me.
Jeez, I sound like I did back then... I thought with genuine disgust, and the feeling was intense enough to distract me from sobbing. Laying my head back against the dirty wall, it reminded me of how many times my head hit it sharply when... With an angry groan, I leaned forward, once more hiding my face against my thin legs. The tears had stalled, but the memories were flowing in full force, and they were a much worse torrent to deal with.
"Damn, boy! Yer so skinny, I could pro'ly fit you int' one o' these 'ere lockers!" A cruel voice laughs, almost unintelligible for his horrible country accent. But I'd lived in the country long enough, and listened to his insults enough times, that I could understand it perfectly.
"Your buddies already tried. Twice. No need to try again." I turn toward him but don't look straight at him, instead watching his feet and quickly wrapping a towel around my naked body. I wished I didn't have to take a shower after school, but gym was last my class and my father would never let me come home without cleaning up.
The asshole, named Daniel by his parents, still slid up beside me silently. I saw two other pairs of feet walk in, and the voice of Sam (asshole #2) spoke instead of his leader. "I remember that! Your ass ain't too big, but the damn thing still wouldn't fit." With a sneer in his voice that I didn't even need to see, he slid up to my other side. Neither touched me, but I knew that something bad was on it's way. "If fact, it was hanging out like it wanted something. Did it, Matt?"
"No." I responded icily, though a little more sharply than I'd originally intended. Daniel's large hand gripped my shoulder tightly, and I hissed softly in pain.
"Now, boy. Ya know ya need t' be respectful o' yer elders." I didn't need him to remind me that he and most of my class were a year older than me. It wasn't my fault that I was smart and moved ahead in school.
As much as I wanted to bite his head off with words his small mind wouldn't even comprehend, his grip was steadily tightening and certainly leaving a nasty bruise. If I said anything uncalled for now, I'd be hurt even worse. And he was at least smart enough not to leave marks where they were easily visible. "You're right, I should. Sorry."
"It's not good enough. Make him pay." The other voice in the room was so quiet I barely heard it. Still across the room, I finally glanced up at Logan. I'd never understood why that quiet, smart boy hung out with the school morons and bullies. But if I was to judge by the dark glint in his eye... He was at least a little crazy. That explained it perfectly.
"Yer right, Logan! We oughta make 'im pay fer that rudeness," he hissed, sounding just like a snake. The hand on my shoulder removed itself, and for a moment I was relieved, but then an arm snaked around my waist. Followed by another one from my other side.
"Let's head out to the gym, 'kay? There's a nice echo in there." Sam's voice was huskier than I remembered it.
"Great idea." So was Daniel's. It didn't quite click at first, until Logan directed his crazed and downright horny stare at me. Then I realised and tried to jerk away.
"No!" I shouted, wrestling against them as they held me firmly between them and almost carried me out of the dressing room and into the gym. Chuckling like pleased children, then shoved me across the room to the one set of bleachers that was open right now. I shouted again in distress, but quieted rather quickly. They were right; it really did echo, and not in a good way. It only served to agitate me further and bring my fear to new heights.
"Aw, look't 'im fight!" Leaning close to my ear and effectively stilling all of my movement, he whispered, "I like 'em feisty." In the single most disgusting gesture I'd ever been at the receiving end of, he licked my earlobe in what I imagined was supposed to be a sensual manner. Maybe if I weren't being pinned down to the cold metal surface, the towel that served as my only protection ripped away while the greedy hands of my worst enemies wandered my body, I would've found that arousing.
Clearly, though, someone else found the situation to be quite the turn on. Logan soon replaced Daniel in holding my left side down, and the oldest slipped in front of me. From the way they held me, with my knees on the floor, chest on one seat and, chin pinned painfully against the one above me, he had the perfect placement to sit down and shove his crotch in my face. Unzipping his pants slowly like he thought I was enjoying the show, he eventually exposed his semi-erect member, uncomfortably close to my face. With one hand under my chin to lift me (and thankfully the other two actually let me rise up a bit), he slid himself right under me. If I tilted my head down now, I'd be met with a face-full of the single appendage of his that I never once wanted to see.
"Suck," he snapped in a gravely voice. Oh God, he's seriously turned on by this. He's seriously going to make me do it! I jumped back, but the other two weren't having it, and with superior chuckles they held me where I had been. "And if ya jump 'r bite, I'll make it hurt." He just had to eliminate any chance I had of escaping with my anal virginity intact.
"You were going to make it hurt anyway," I whispered, surprising myself when my voice cracked and a tear suddenly decided to roll down my cheek. Daniel looked on me with pity for a fraction of a second, and though the look disappeared, his voice was clear enough that he still held the feeling to some degree.
"It's gonna 'urt either way. Least I can do is try an' prep ya." I closed my eyes then, unable to handle the sight of his cold eyes. I was no expert on how sex worked between men, but I knew that "prep" only meant more shame and humiliation that I'd never live down.
"Enough small talk, bitch," Logan hissed in my ear, and suddenly his hand was on the back of my head and shoving me down. Unable to do much else, for the sake of the hope that I'd be spared at least some pain in this unavoidable situation, I opened my mouth and accepted the dick being shoved roughly past my lips. Something in the back of my mind that wasn't focused on not gagging managed to notice Daniel hissing something at his impatient counterpart. What his exact words were, though, I'd never know.
I had no idea what I was doing, but I had to give some attempt at pleasuring him. I lifted up, dragging my teeth along him ever so slightly, listening to the slight gasp he clearly couldn't hold back. I doubted he expected my cooperation in this. Teasing the head with the tip of my tongue ever so slightly, I started to bob my head, still slow and cautious but obviously doing a good enough job for him. I felt him hardening inside my mouth, an awkward sensation but not the worst thing I'd have to deal with.
As if he'd heard my thoughts, a single finger pressed a cold liquid against my very exposed hole. First it rubbed around the entrance lightly, as if to make sure that whatever lube it was covered in was adequately applied, before very slowly pushing inside. With the cock still clamped firmly between my lips, I groaned uncomfortably against it. This times, Daniel was unable to restrain a very open moan, and his hips jerked up against me slightly.
"He's so tight!" Sam mumbled, pushing his finger into my even more. It didn't really hurt, not yet, but it was far from a pleasurable feeling.
"I didn't think he was actually a fag, but look at that boner!" Logan hissed like a snake every time he spoke, it seemed. But the way he spoke wasn't what concerned me; it was his actual words. As if to confirm it, and perhaps for his own sick personal satisfaction, he lifted my hips a little (and relieved me from the biting steel of the bleachers), and wrapped a single bony hand around the erection I hadn't known I'd had.
I was disgusted with myself more than anything else in that moment. I don't know what horrible part of my brain found being raped appealing, but it was obviously extremely happy to be suddenly jerked off by the most sick of all three rapists. I found myself moaning against my will, no matter how hard I tried to bite back the noises. But as soon as I almost allowed myself to stop feeling disgusted, to make the best of this terrible situation and just enjoy it, the hand and all its arousing motions were gone. I released Daniel's cock, dripping now with precum and my own saliva, and actually moaned desperately.
I didn't want this. I never wanted it. I... admitted to being gay, and even to wanting to be the bottom if I was ever to have sex. But I never, ever wanted to be the victim of these pigs. Worse still, I never wanted to be almost forced into enjoying it.
I was just centimetres from thanking Sam when he suddenly reminded me of his presence, pushing a second finger into my barely-stretched hole. The pain was almost a welcome reminder that I shouldn't, couldn't be enjoying this, and I shouted a very crude word at the empty gym. I almost shouted again, in hopes that a janitor (the only one who might still be here right now) would hear me, but I knew that they wouldn't. The gym and the large rooms surrounding it were only cleaned on Saturdays, which today was not. No one would be anywhere near close enough to hear me, no matter how loudly I shouted.
"Fuck this, I want him now!" Logan suddenly growled, going from a snake to an angry beast. Sam's fingers were rather roughly removed, but I had no time to languish in the thankful absence of pain. Logan clearly didn't even bother in using any more lube, instead pushing his painfully hardened cock right into me.
That time, I screamed. Daniel yelled something over my agonised sobbing, cussing out Logan for being the sick bastard he was, but it did nothing to relieve my pain. I felt the thin boy lean over me, growling his order in my ear without hiding even an ounce of his contempt. "Loosen the fuck up, or I'll tear you inside-out." The icy words didn't help at all, and in fact I tightened up in reflex, but his hands found their way to my hips in and gripped with enough force to make me want to scream again.
Relaxing is not easy when you're experiencing the strongest, most invasive suffering you've ever endured. Yet I had no choice in the matter, and had to will my muscles to calm and relax themselves. The pain did ease some small fraction, but the change was so slight that I almost didn't notice. Logan did, however, and pulled himself out, tugging on all the little spots he'd already torn in his vigour. I screamed again, unable to restrain myself, but clenching around him sharply only made him moan like the horny asshole he was.
He didn't spend much time on being "gentle," if one could even call it that. In fact, almost immediately he started slamming into my with enough force to bruise my entire rear end. Daniel had at some point left his seat in front of me, and though I had no idea where he went, I did know where Sam was. He replaced the missing erection in front of me, putting a single hand on the back of my head to shove me down on him. There wasn't anyone holding me down any more, or even holding my arms; I couldn't make any move to act against them when all of my strength went to holding myself up against the vicious assault of my ass and Sam quickly beginning to slam into my mouth with almost as much throat. I was caught somewhere between screaming and shouting and crying all at once, and I couldn't do a single one of them without gagging.
"Who's in there?!" I didn't recognise the voice as one of the three rapists, and right then I couldn't quite process the idea of anyone else. But the others could. All at once Logan ripped out of me, and my muscles clenching over the empty space was almost more painful than anything before. I didn't even register it when Sam left, both of them dodging under the bleachers without giving me a second thought. I didn't care any more about being found; they would protect me, get me out of here, maybe take me to a hospital to get tested for all the horrible STDs I was probably going to get.
Daniel, however, did care. Whether it was out of the goodness of his black, shrunken heart, or simply to cover his own tracks (the latter being pretty much guaranteed), he picked me up against his chest and rushed me under the bleachers with the others. They were all pressed against the farthest side, and he joined them, sliding down to the ground with my back against his chest, arms around me like it might hide my naked body from view.
I still couldn't place the voice of the random stranger, but I was going to get his attention if it killed me. At least, that was my plan. Unfortunately, Logan had other plans, smacking a hand over my mouth just as I inhaled to shout. Then a sick grin crossed his features, even more sick that his fondness for rape, even more sick than his exposed cock that was still dripping with my blood.
"Do it now, Daniel," he hissed at the leader of their little posse. "Fuck him now, make him wanna scream." Then he turned his evil gaze on me, and the grin grew. "But if you scream, bitch, then he'll find you and we'll get in trouble. And then we'll have to go to your house and make sure you know who's whore you are."
No. They couldn't know where I lived... But that wasn't the confident smirk of someone who was lying. If there was thing this sicko was, it was honest (painfully so).
The hand slowly pulled away from my lips, and I was insanely tempted to shout right now. The stranger was still asking if anyone was in there, and it sounded like he might be getting out a vacuum or something. He's going to clean now?! I thought in horror, not sure if I should get his help or save myself this horror in the future.
In the end, I knew that having them come to my house would not be good. If they got arrested for this, which was very likely... They really would come after me to teach me a lesson. So when Daniel lifted me up and pressed his still-wet dick against my entrance, I simply bit my lip and didn't let out a sound. He was a lot slower than Logan, letting me lower myself for the most part, until I was fully sheathed on his painfully large erection
"Now why don'cha do it yerself, boy?" Sam suddenly asks in a low voice, grinning much like Logan had been. I turned toward him with wide, confused eyes, and he just nodded. I'd almost forgotten him... I didn't know he was able to be such a bastard himself.
But I had to. There was no longer any question in that fact for me. To escape this and make sure it was the only time, I would have to... to fuck myself on the dick of my enemy. Slowly, very carefully, I shifted so that I was holding my weight on my own legs. It was very hard to hold myself up, and my legs were shaking almost violently, but I pushed myself up and then let myself drop back down slowly. Daniel's hands gripped my waist, making me move faster and offering some small degree of support. I hated to admit it, but... without being pounded into so violently, it almost felt good. Almost.
Logan suddenly stood in front of me, grabbing my jaw and wrenching it open without giving me the chance to do so willingly. "Why don't you taste your own ass-blood, you little slut?" he sneered, shoving his hardness down my throat. I very openly gagged on the intrusion, but he didn't make it easier on me. The disgusting taste flooded my tongue, though it hardly mattered when I couldn't breathe past him pounding against the roof of my mouth. He was no less violent no matter what entrance he was fucking.
Daniel's soft grunts from behind me were increasing, and he stopped simply guiding me and instead began ramming me down every time I pulled up from him. The worse part of it all was that... it didn't even hurt any more. The pain was still definitely there, and my tears were fair enough proof of the fact, but he suddenly was hitting some spot inside me that made me see stares. I wanted to name it, but that was way beyond my mental capacity at the moment. Moaning around the merciless cock between my lips was all it took to make him finally cum, releasing a hot, bitter liquid all inside my mouth.
As soon as he moved back, allowing me to gag and spit out the disgusting substance, I caught a glimpse of Sam behind him, merely watching the scene and rubbing his own furiously. At nearly the same time I looked over, he too came, not caring that it all hit the poor, dirtied floor in a nasty mess.
Without even the slightest warning for me, Daniel's hand reached around my waist and started working my own neglected erection. Combined with the still-nameless spot he was assaulting behind me, I released in a matter of seconds after he began. It hurt on a whole new level to clench around that huge dick inside me, but it was nothing more than a method to make my final moan of pleasure turn into a scream.
"Sorry, boy," Daniel suddenly muttered into my ear, and I didn't have time to ask what he was talking about before more of that scorching fire lit up my abused passage. I was able to endure the ruthless fucking, but adding a stinging fluid to the mix was too much. I screamed again, almost louder this time, before I ran out of breath. Panting, groaning in pain, I was gently laid on the floor and the massive intruder was removed from me. Daniel's cum was slowly dripping out of my ass and down my thigh, onto the cold concrete floor, but the owner of it was quickly packing up along with his friends.
"Gotta go, bitch. See ya later!" Logan said with a little too much energy, running out of there along with the other two. I caught a glimpse of Daniel's pitiful glance back at me, but then he was gone as well.
Some part of me was vaguely aware of the unidentified man yelling at them and chasing, but they obviously got away. After a few minutes of my vision dimming, I saw Mr. Shiloh, the janitor, peer underneath there. His eyes widened in horror, first in nameless shock, then in recognition.
"Oh, God. Matt."
That was all I got before I blacked out. Then I woke in a hospital a few hours later, pumped full of drugs and sobbing like a baby.
"Matt?" A deep, male voice asked from the entrance of the dark area. I jumped, looking up with tears in my eyes, terrified like I was a teenager who'd just been raped all over again. But it wasn't three teenage assholes, there to make my life a living hell: it was just one man who I couldn't even recognise. At least, not at first. But there was something about his features, something I felt that I should know...
"D-Daniel?!" I asked, quietly but with every ounce of fear I was suddenly overtaken by. As soon as I said the name, I was entirely certain that this was the leader of the very same group of sick bastards that had me crying here to begin with. Just like the frightened child I felt like, I backed away on instinct, pressing myself into the far corner of the space, and holding out my hands like it might protect me. "Nononono..." turned from a simple whisper of distress to a sort of terrified mantra, and even when it was getting hard not to hyperventilate, I kept saying that single word over and over.
"It's okay, it's okay!" he said softly, approaching me but not getting too close and definitely not touching me. Instead he just held up his hands defensively, quietly trying to calm me down. I did finally run out of breath, and that was the only thing that silenced me at first. Then, at last, my mind started to work properly again, and I realised the most random, unimportant fact I ever could have noticed in such a situation.
"Your accent's gone." My voice trembled and cracked a little, but nevertheless I managed to mumble that simple fact. Daniel stared at me for a few seconds, brows furrowed in confusion, before he laughed softly.
"Yeah, it is. I had to train myself to speak properly before I could get a job at the TV station. I'm an announcer now."
"Oh," I responded quietly, and a heavy silence fell over us. I didn't have the energy to be dismayed any more, and there was just something about Daniel that calmed me. He was nothing like he had been all those years ago: impetuous, disruptive, and an all-around jerk. Now he exuded a strange air of tranquillity, of contentment even, but it didn't take a genius to detect his discomfort in the present situation. It didn't take even an idiot to detect how uncomfortable we both were.
"I guess it's way too late to say this, but I have to get it out..." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing with the only words what could have ever shocked me from him. "I'm sorry. Not even just about... about that, but about everything. I had no good reason to ever really mess with you, and what we did... That was inexcusable. I know I can never be forgiven for that, and I'm not even asking for it, just... I want you to know that I never wanted to do that. I was being a stupid boy, and I wanted look like a badass in front of those two morons, so I just went with it. I'm just... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that ever happened to you. I'm so sorry everything we did happened."
I didn't respond for a long time, and for several minutes it was all I could do to gape pathetically him while he hung his head in guilt. When I finally did manage to close my mouth, I turned away, unsure of how I should respond to such a heartfelt confession. I wanted to be angry, to chew him out and stomp away, but he sounded so genuine. There wasn't even the slightest trace of deception in his voice, of anything but raw shame, and it didn't fit with the image of Daniel in my mind's eye. I'd always imagined he'd end up a good-for-nothing, probably in jail for murder or some other rape... But here he was, a respectable man who was begging some shred of forgiveness from some petty incident that happened twenty years ago. Well, the incident had not been petty, and had left the sort of emotional scars one never recovered from, but even now it felt like something from so long ago that it didn't matter, not to anyone else.
"I will never forgive what happened," I said quietly, and his expression mimicked my own surprise at how steady my voice was. "I will never forgive the other two for that, and I'll never forgive the action itself. But... I want to be able to forgive you. I don't know if I can yet, but I want to try." I was sure I'd cried myself out long ago, yet there was still a single tear rolling down my cheek by the time I was done. There were so many emotions welling up inside of me, so many that I could never name or make sense of, and I didn't know what else to do with them but cry them out.
Daniel didn't say anything at first, his shocked expression slowly melting into one of serene acceptance. Very cautiously, he reached toward me, giving me time to back away if I was going to. But I stayed still, for some unknown reason, and allowed his finger to gently brush away the single saline drop. With a very small smile, he whispered, "I'd be honoured. I didn't think you'd even listen to my apology. I expected you to slap me." We chuckled bitterly together, and when he scooted slightly closer so as to lean against the wall beside me, I didn't stop him.
"I never wanted to slap you. After it first happened, I wanted to punch you, to watch you burn to death, to strangle you... Every horribly violent thing a teenager could ever think up for his enemies. But after a while, I just stopped caring. I figured you would get yours eventually..." A thought occurred to me then, curiosity about the other two who's deaths had been equally violent in my mind. "What happened to the other two?"
"Last I heard, Sam was in and out of jail. He had a job at McDonald's for a few weeks, but he's probably back in for drugs. Logan ended up in a mental institution after he tried to have sex with a cow." I had sort of seen the first one coming, and I knew Logan would end up in an asylum, but...
"Sex with a cow?" Daniel just nodded solemnly.
"Apparently so. Turns out, the entire high school incident was just scratching the surface. He was convicted for three rapes in different counties, and they found two dead horses at his house that had been "sexually active" after death. I don't think they would've caught him, either, if it wasn't for the neighbour's cow..."
I wanted to think up a snide remark, an intelligent response, a stuttered imitation of the English language, anything in reply to that, but I couldn't. Not for several seconds, spent gaping openly at the bearer of whatever news that was.
"I didn't expect that from him, either. We always guessed that he wasn't completely okay in the head, but to go so far off the deep end..."
"Saw it coming," I said simply, smiling when he chuckled at me. But in the moment of silence that followed, just before I could think up an excuse to leave and go consider the night's events, Daniel asked me the strangest question I could have ever seen him asking.
"Are you gay, Matt?"
I had never gaped at anyone so hard in my life.
After a moment, I turned away, frowning and mulling over an answer. "I am," I said at last. "I was already out when you guys... did that, but I never told anyone at school. I guess I can't say much, though, because I never even had a boyfriend. Every time we got close enough that sex was the next step, I just... I broke it off. I was so afraid, I thought that they would-"
"Stop that," Daniel interrupted me sharply, sharply enough to turn my head in confusion. "Stop thinking about it right now, before you make yourself cry again. That part of your life is over; the idiots who did that to you are gone, okay? No one is ever going to hurt you again. If someone even thinks about hurting you, here," He paused in the middle of his sentence, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a small business card. When he placed it in my hand and closed my fingers over it, he didn't let go, leaning over me with such fever in his eyes that I was compelled to believe anything he said, even if he'd said the sky was falling. "If anything ever happens, you call me, you hear? I don't care what time of day or night it is, you call me. I..." he trailed off, looking away and finally pulling away from me. "I have a lot to make up for. It's the least I can do. I don't care if you live halfway across the world, I'll come help you out if you need it."
For the second time that evening, I didn't know how to respond to what he'd said. I smiled slowly, then grinned with increasing happiness. "I live on MacCorckle Avenue, the little red house on the corner. You can stop over any time you like. I work at home."
"Wait, what?" His eyes were the size of saucers, and equally full of confusion. "You would invite me into your home?" I nodded, still smiling confidently.
"You said you'd protect me, right? You have to protect me from the spiders that live in the basement. Those suckers are massive, I'm afraid they'll kill me in my sleep."
With a bright laugh, Daniel stood, offering his hand and pulling me up as he spoke. "Alright, maybe I'll go play exterminator for you some day soon."
Grinning, I nodded. "I'd like that."