Before Everything happened, there were three prophetic fruits. The Apple of Enlightenment, the Banana of Ignorance, and the Guava of Friendship all told whispers to decide what would happen. Everything had to happen soon, they decided. They did not decide when, but soon, sure enough.
"The Universe is young and booming," would whisper the Apple.
"Nevertheless, it must boom eventually," would whisper the Banana.
This had been going on since the Universe had condensed matter into ideas and conflict. Moreover, no one knew where they were, if they even existed. Trillions of parsecs of infinity had been searched through, up and down, in search of a pair of ferocious fruits. No luck.
"You never consider the Universe's downward trend, do you?" whispered the Banana.
"Everything good must be good and hard to do," whispered the Apple.
The Guava was known. The Guava was found. It had been seen by the handful of lucky few who had met the Ultimate Creator of Everything. The Guava had tried reconciling them at times. But not that time. No, he never tried fixing things until the moment came when the fruits spoke of tough times at bay, of Everything.
"Famine, war, conquest, destruction," said the Banana.
The Apple gulped and rebutted, "Famine, war, conquest, perfection!"
The Guava of Friendship spoke.
"Can't we all just get along? There's no place for bitterness!" pleaded the Guava.
For the first time since the dawning of light, the Banana ripened.
Unlike a ripening fruit, though, it wasn't a fruit.
The Apple shuddered.
The Banana boasted.
The Guava panicked on the oak desk of Mr. Wilber.
Mr. Wilber was off giving a present to our friends on that same motionless mountain. These friends are limited to Freddy, Frank, Sarah, and Brandy. He was also at the desk, though, and therefore noticed the guava's distaste. He said aloud, "Perfect timing!" not because of the fact he gave our friends a very necessary gift, but because the guava had just ripened as well. He opened one of the drawers and looked for something for a minute. He became frustrated until the moment he found a knife. Mr. Wilber punctured the soft membrane of the guava as it squirmed. He took a deep, tangy bite, knowing he, along with everyone else in the universe, would not need it anymore.