I just sent a goodbye letter.
Not an "I'm falling off the grid,"
not an "I'm hiding in my shame,"
letter, but a goodbye letter.

I have the tools.
They prescribed happy pills.
The warning label is
nothing but a challenge to me.

Their instructions were clear.
"Take only ONE every morning
and ONE every night.
Understood?"

I nodded with my
fingers crossed
behind
my back.

I wrote Mikey,
I texted Erin,
I said goodbye
to the ones I love.

David doesn't matter.
I don't care about him anymore.
He can die for all I care.
(I'm just being harsh)

For the first time,
tears are falling from my eyes
and I honestly don't
give the slightest fuck.

I'm not ashamed.
I'm not going to hide.
These tears are proof
of my pride.

So tell me goodbye,
not goodnight.
I'm not going to be
alright.