I know that you could never forgive me,

I just wish you knew that I was sorry.

Back then, I was so young,

I couldn't see what I had done.

My actions humiliated you,

Suggesting things that were never true,

I never saw your heart get burned in the crossfire.

I'd never ask for you to understand me now,

Even if you asked me how,

I could manage to be so cruel,

To make you feel like such a fool.

Though I never did it purposely,

I never managed to turn and see,

All those hopes you'd pinned on me.

I know I really let you down,

Burned your heart and let you drown,

Crushed you under the weight of your own dreams,

Let your world rip apart right at the seams.

I never meant for my actions to hurt you,

But that's exactly what I managed to do,

Because I didn't take the time to really look at you.

I don't expect you to understand my reasons,

I don't expect you to care after so many seasons.

Why should you hear a word I have to say,

When I never cared when it mattered anyway?

With all my heart I hope you moved on,

Forgot this cold unworthy someone,

Without the decency to feel shame when it mattered.

I don't think it matters now,

Even if I told you how

My whole world was breaking back then.

My own suffering doesn't feature when

It made me too blind to see,

That I made you suffer as bad as me

And you had been hurting enough already.

Why would you even believe me?

If I told that - rather unusually -

I'm very much ashamed of me...

And I wish you knew how much I'm sorry.