A Story to Explain why there is Thunder and Lightning

Thunder and Lightning

It was a cool spring morning in the kingdom of Elfaxidor, the animals were just starting to come out of hibernation, the birds were flitting about in the sky. But the birds weren't the only things flying that day, there was something else, something large, something black, something which flew through the air on huge bat-like wings, something dangerous...

The thing opened it's mouth, revealing rows of sharp teeth, and a fireball the size of a cathedral flew out! A small village on the outskirts of the kingdom was engulfed in flame. A farm owned by a Mr. K. J. Ronting was incinerated, the town of Dufly disintegrated and (worst of all) a small sheep, minding its own business, was picked up and eaten alive by the beast. Hundreds of people died that day, hundreds more were rendered homeless. It was a great calamity.

***

The King of Elfaxidor, Andrew the 3947.237 recurringth , banged his fists on the table. "YOU SNIVELLING LITTLE COWARDS!" he roared, "MY BEST KNIGHTS, TO SCARED TO FIGHT A DRAGON!"

The knights of the Almost-Round-But-With-One-Of-The-Corners-Missing Table looked at each other uneasily, they had seen the king angry before, but never this angry.

"But Sire," said Sir Alfred nervously, "to attack a creature of that size would be suicide. Why, a man would have to be mad to-"

"Yes sir, I don't need the dentist? So pass the chips...." yelled Sir Fred Jeroldine. Everyone looked at him.

"Well," said the King, "It looks like we've found our man."

"Cheerio mr Peacock!" muttered Sir Fred.

***

Sir Fred wasn't sure why they had put these heavy clothed on him and given him this big spiky thing, perhaps they wanted him to do some sewing?

There was a thump as the dragon landed in front of him.

Sir Fred greeted it:- "I don't know about Turkey, but I like a nice soft volcano."

The dragon flapped it's wings and flew away. All that was left of Sir Fred Jeroldine was a small pile of smouldering ash.

***

The news spread like wild-fire, even one of kings best knights hadn't been able to defeat the dragon (the fact that this particular knight was an absolute raving loony didn't seem to bother most people)! And by noon that day, a mob had formed outside the palace, demanding that the king do something. Suddenly the crowd fell silent as the great doors opened, and out stepped, not the king, but a small secretary.

"I'm afraid that the King is busy," said the secretary, "but he says that he has the situation under control."

***

The King had the situation far from controlled.

After his speech, the secretary had disappeared, and one of kitchen staff said that she had seen him floating face down in the river! Also, his knights had all run away, for fear of being next to face the dragon (and next to face the King in a rage)! And the King didn't know what to do next! Then there was the matter of-

One of the guards ran in. "SIRE!" he said urgently, "THEY'RE COMING AT THE DOOR WITH BATTERING RAMS!"

The King sighed, there were times when you had to go out and face the music...

***

The mob subsided and the King stepped out.

"I have decided," he said, "to give a reward to the man who gets rid of the dragon."

"Money?" said a man in the crowd. "Money to do your dirty work for you? SHAME!"

"AWFUL!" said another.

"DISGUSTING!" shouted a small damselfly trying to escape the bubble-gum on the bottom of the stage.

"TERRIBLE!"

"APPALLING!"

"HOW MUCH?"

"I was thinking," answered the king, "about 5000000 $queduchi..."

***

Suddenly, hundreds of people wanted to kill the dragon.

The first was a large heavily built man, clad in armour and riding a horse. He went one morning to slay the dragon, that evening hid body was found, baked in his own armour.

The second went to kill it at night, the flames could be seen for miles.

The third hid in a tree, going to ambush the creature. He had forgotten that it could fly, but had no time to be surprised when the fire came from above him and not below.

Hundreds of people attempted to kill the monster, until, eventually, there was no-one left to try...

***

"But surely one of you brave men wants to get rid of the dragon?" said the King to his subjects, with pleading in his eye.

There was a movement in the crowd and a voice said "NO, GEORGE, COME BACK!"

Someone hauled themselves up onto the stage next to the King. "Hello," said the someone, "my name is George, and I think I can get rid of your dragon!"

The whole Kingdom rocked with laughter, George couldn't have been more than 6 years old!

"I'd like to see you try!" chuckled the King.

"All right, I will," said George. And he did!

***

All that day George collected wood and piled it up in the town centre.

That evening he clambered up onto the top of the pile and yelled, "HEY YOU. YES, YOU. THE BIG LIZARD. COME AND GET ME!"

The dragon -on it's way back from terrorising the goat-farmers of the Elfaxi mountain range- heard the yell, and headed for it's point of origin...

***

George jumped just in time, causing the dragon's fire to miss him hit the pile of wood, starting a huge bonfire in the town centre.

George started running from the dragon. The dragon itself turned, and came back for another shot at the boy. But as it flew, the dragon plunged into the clouds coming from the bonfire, and lost it's way.

George stopped running.

***

The next day, there was another crowd outside the palace, demanding to see the King. When the King emerged, they ordered him to give George his money.

"But he didn't actually kill it," the King pointed out.

"But you said 'I'll give a reward to the man who gets rid of the dragon'," George argued.

"But I don't have 5000000 $!" he told them.

If one of the kitchen staff would have looked out of the window, they would have been surprised to see King Andrew the 3947.237 recurringth floating face down in the river.

After that, George (the 12 and a halfth) was chosen as the new King. He did a much better job of it.

***

Even now, on dark nights, you can see the dragon's fire in the clouds, and hear it's roars, as it tries to find a way out...