He kept his distance, as Far had suggested. My wounds healed up without leaving any scars but I needed to think. I thought about Warn and what he had said.
"I feel scared about the things I can't remember."
I tried to think about what he had meant, because I never really understood those words. Right then, they echoed in my head, within the plain walls of my quiet room like they were screaming at me. What was it like to not remember something? I knew he didn't mean simple forgetfulness. He told me he simply couldn't recall some things that happened. Have I ever forgotten something like that too? Have the memory stolen from me? Forgotten the reason something happened, left with a disorientated blur?
I buried my head in my hands and tumbled onto the bed instead.

My mind wandered back to that day - that day that took apart our friendship so mercilessly. I had talked more than usual. I had wanted to talk. All the thoughts in my head that had done nothing but hid from the rest of the world for fifteen years were screaming at me to get out. I wanted to tell him everything. He was my friend and he was more than that. He wasn't just a person. Warn listened to me and the words didn't just fall through his head. I knew that. He smile was like an accident, flawed but the purest form of happiness. I loved every minute of seeing him and being with him.
Suddenly, I wanted to see him again for the first time in days. The last time I had seen him, he had looked so...sorry. He was guilty and sorry for everything even though he was confused about it. I wanted to forgive him, throw my arms around him and tell him all my secrets because I was tired of hiding, tired of thinking and tired of waiting. He gave me an odd sense of salvation, which I finally recognised as - living. I sprang up from my bed, inspired to run.
Run.
Like that day during break. I ran like a bullet, as if I didn't need to breathe. I don't remember why.
I don't remember-
"Far! FAR!" I darted out of the room, colliding with my brother in the hallway.
"What the hel-" he began, but I cut him off.
"Far, do you remember that day? In summer where I ran-"
"Woah woah wait! What are you talking about?" he pushed me off to give himself space to breathe.
"That day I ran out of the house with no shoes and you chased after me and then I got kicked in the face by a boy in a swing."
"Oh. That time." He blinked. "What about it?"
"Why did I run?" I asked, pressing to know the answer.
"I don't know, really! You were acting...unusual," he frowned.
"Unusual? Like weird?" I suggested.
"Yea. You ran out and I yelled at you, asking where the hell you think you were going with no shoes and...no reply. That was when I got worried and went after you. You were...really fast, just bolting down the street like you didn't even have to catch your breath. I had never seen you run like that, ever."
At that point I had to admit that I was never an athletic person.
"Where was I going?"
"I don't know. You just ran like you were never going to stop and I was worried that I would never catch you. Until that boy kicked you in the face, that is," he recounted. "I brought you home and you seemed like you were in a daze. I asked where you were going and you said nothing. After a while when you seemed all right I let it drop."
"I don't remember it...I don't remember the running. It was like I never did it."
"But you did. I saw."
I paused to think. It was like what happened with Warn. Doing something and having no recollection of it. Getting pulled from the front seat. Like someone else did it. I started to feel uncomfortable, like the blood was running backwards from my brain. I touched my brother's arm. My fingertips felt like ice.
"What if...what if I'm like Warn?"
He stared at me, his hands frozen at his sides like he didn't know what to do with them. He opened his mouth to say something then shut it again. Then he looked away. Closed his eyes.
"I'm flawed. Far, I'm flawed too," I said.