It's been quite a ride. Destination: Masturbation.

6 years after the escape of the Serial Masturbator

"Thank you" Inspector Trey Clarke as he exited the cab and into the rain. It was a very stormy night, the cabbie pulled away after Trey pulled his suitcase out of the backseat. Holding a newspaper over his head, Clarke made his way over to his front door. Once he entered, he put his jacket on the hook and the newspaper on the table next to it.

"Damn, something doesn't feel right here" he whispered to himself, rubbing his titties

"Honey? Why are the lights off?" he asked….No response


After getting no response the second time, he walked to his office where he flipped on the lamp and sat as his desk. Flipping open his computer, a video of a dog humping a cat appeared on the screen. Trey grabbed his rather large titty

"Aw, aw fuck yeah" he said lowly, squeezing and stretching his tits "Oh yeah….fuck yea"

Wank wank wank

Trey immediately sprang to attention and closed his computer "Who's there!?" Trey asked frantically, but he already knew who had been in the room with him.

Wank wank wank

"Where are you!?" Trey was frightened, he stretched his titties until they were long enough to be used as weapons

"Sure you want to do that?" asked a mysterious voice, right across the desk from him. Trey looked forward, and all color drained from his face

"How did you get in my house?" asked Trey, frightened "And where are your pants

"Look you fat motha' fuckin piece of shit, you know who I am and you know why I'm here" said the voice again

Trey shook in his chair, and started shaking

"I masturbated on the 3rd graders at McKinley elementary" said the voice

Wank wank wank

"I came on elderly people at the nursing home" he continued

Wank wank wank

"I even jazzed on that obamers nappy nigger head"

Wank wank wank

"Say my name" demanded the voice

"Please, I have a wife and kids!" begged Trey

Wank wank wank

"Please!" Trey begged

"Say my name!" demanded the voice

"You're….you're….the Serial Masturbated" Trey was still shaking

"You're god damned right"


3 weeks after the murder of Trey Clarke, killed by fatal cumshot to the face.

Washington D.C., October 5th, 2012

"And what exactly is it you want from me, a mutha fuckin medal?" asked president Niggersoup

"I want you to call off all of the search warrants for my former client, Mr. president" said Peral, Shane (Masturbators) former lawyer

"Look, nigga, I done tried man, he cant just go around cumming on people and shit" said Niggersoup

"If you don't, stuff like this is going to happen again!" screamed Peral, slamming a document down on the president's desk "Read it." Peral demanded

Niggersoup looked at the document and back up to Peral, then back down at the document

"Oregon detective found dead by cummification" read Niggersoup aloud

"He was assigned to my client's just days before he was killed" explained Peral "They…they still haven't found some pieces of his titties" Peral wiped a single tear away as it rolled down his face

"Jesus Christ" said Niggersoup

Then, a well dressed former jew entered the room "Yes, Niggersoup?" asked Jesus

"Push all my appointments back"

Jesus nodded and exited the room

"Now, why are you so interested in this story?" asked Niggersoup

"Because, I know what he's capable of" replied Peral

"And what exactly is that?" asked Niggersoup

A fly then landed on Niggersoup's face, it crawled all the way down and went into his mouth, that nigger then licked his lips

"Well" Peral started "If you ever want to see KFC, grape soda, and watermelon again, you'll do it"

"You know what, being the black man that I am, I love all of those things. But, you're still denied"

Peral leaned in close to the presidents face

"You knuckle-dragging, thick lipped, ashy mother fucking nigger, I hope he finds you" Peral then got up and walked to the door "I HOPE THE BURY YOU, YOU NIGGER!"

Just then, every KFC exploded and niggers were raining everywhere, and a giant jack Nicholson appeared right at the presidents window, on top of him sat Shane himself

"I'm going to cum on you!" screamed shane, just then the storms started getting wild

"No…Please!" screamed Niggersoup

"Shane begin thrusting his hips into his hand, standing next to him was trey's zombie, Shane grabbed his tits

"I'm going to milk the world!" Shane screamed, tugging on his tits and penis

Wank wank wank

And then they died. You read this whole story, to read about a guy jacking off, on people

Wait, Never mind, Shane and Peral escaped, and are still at large

And trey died again.


President Niggersoup: Tarik

Masturbator: Shane

Lawyer Peral: Peral

Mike Hawk: Mike

Asian bitch ass mother fucking pussy queef: Ervin

Trey: Fat titty kid.