Collecting Newgrounds flash medals may seem like an easy work, but it's not. Trust me, I've been doing this for years and it really depends on the flash games themselves. It's a cutthroat business in which sometimes you can get ripped off, you really don't make that much money that way as you'll know why.

Medal hunting is a illegal business as it is forbidden for people to pay someone to help them rack up some medals they have trouble earning themselves. Believe me, I know someone who tried it, Trevor however wasn't good at keeping things discreet and in the end he was busted by the voting police (I didn't know they existed until that day). Not that Trevor was much of a medal hunter anyway.

I dabbled in a dangerous underground job myself, but unfortunately, finding customers isn't easy as I'm not one of the people who has over 100,000 total medal points. In fact I'm currently suck in 80,000 due to some issues going on with some of the medal games right now. Some games have medals that can be earned way too easily, resulting in complaints because some people just couldn't appreciate the good things that were handed to them on a silver platter. Then there's the fact that some of the medals on the new games doesn't register onto the page despite being unlocked on the game page.

Goes to show you that there are flaws in the medal system.

But a while ago I had a customer who was desparate to get a medal so he came to me because all other medal hunters were booked. Well, what happened was that this kid (whose name will be withheld for his safety) had some trouble earning a medal from the game called, "Where's Derpy?" which is a fan made flash game of "My Little Pony". The kid had trouble looking for Derpy and Lyra in the last level so instead of looking up on the walkthough video on Youtube, he decided to recruit a help from a medal hunter...what an idiot!

Not that I'm complaining though.

I decided to take advantage of it by charging him $300 per hour, heh, heh, heh. He would have been better off rage quitting like someone I know has.

Surprisingly, he accepts and with that, I decided to squeeze it out by first start playing the game and after first few levels, I stopped for a moment to stretch and watch a movie on Fios VOD. It milked out over two hours thanks and afterward I got back to my computer when I realize that I need to work out some sweat as I hadn't use the elliptical trainer for nearly a week so I ran down to the basement and proceed to burnt some fat for fourty minutes non-stop.

The kid then said, "When are you going to finish?"

I said, "After I take a shower."

After twenty minutes, I got back on the computer and made my way to the last level when I sat back and relax for a bit. Doing so milked out another twenty minutes and the kid starts yelling, "Stop messing around, I want the medal and I want it now!"

I laughed and said, "Okay kiddy!"

I logged into Youtube and watch the clip from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" when Veruca Salt sang about being a selfish bitch who wants what she wants.

"You're mocking me aren't you?" he said.

"How'd you figure?" I asked.

"Enough already, I want the medal!"

"Okay, okay, jeez!"

I went to finish the game and after several tries (I wish I could say that I threw them just to extend the time a bit but...the truth is that I forgot where Derpy was), I finally finish it up. After four hours I accomplished the mission and afterward the kid wrote a check of twelve hundred dollars (I was surprised too, didn't think he has that much money) and said, "I hate you, you're a bigger con-artist than a underaged prostitute!"

Since then I may have been blacklisted...

He was my last customer or client...which is it? Nevermind.

However, there are things that can really hinder your quest for medals due to system flaws and so on. Not to mention there are artists who creates flash games with broken medals and never bother to fix them despite getting complaints, these people are among the lowest of the low. Believe me, they can make you feel like even bigger crap than what happens after your parents talks you down because you screwed up and's a long story and it was at least partly my fault it's a different story but you know what I mean.

Then there are those who created ridiculously complicated game with medals that are almost impossible to earn. Not only that, the games are bad and for the most part not worth playing, like that crap by Donovan Jackson who seemed to have a hard on for "Devil May Cry". That game was called "Fear Unlimited Issue 2" which is appropiately named since the game does indeed have unlimited issues, especially with bugs and all. A thread was made about the problem in the "General" forum and Jackson blew it off, accusing them of being whiners who simply sucked at his games.

But then the medals were revoked by the site's administration and not long after, Donovan Jackson was found beaten unconscious in his home and his beloved parrot, Beaky was decapitated. It turns out that he was working on another game called "Fear Unlimited Issue 3" where you get to play as Barry Bonds and you have to kill the steroid enhanced feds coming after you.

Now that you know who about dizmiz (Jackson's screen name), he pretty much had it coming.

Oh and one more thing, if you're a NG member and want help on getting game medals, sorry, I can't help you. The reason is that after being blacklisted, my business have to close, there's not much I can do about this.