March 21, 2013

Conquering—what does that even mean? Why should I care? All good questions, young grasshopper. Conquering, it seems to mean you can order me about a lot. There will be soldiers standing around on the street. And you can starve me if I run my mouth off too much. But I can do that to myself too.

Restless, can't sleep, and the moon is down. The Wolves have nothing to howl at so they feast on hearts instead. Nom de guerre—why do I insist? I can't help it, couldn't resist. There's a Melville around here too. And like thee Nero, I shall laugh as the city burns. Every poem I ever wrote never rhymed. I find it sticks in the mind better that way; like a thorn. Like a thorn I shall plague you, Pendragon.

The slave gained the Lion's trust by pulling out his thorn. There is a lion hereabouts, who wanders about limping; he has a thorn stuck in his paw. He was certain once. He comes into my shop sometimes and I wonder—should I kill him? What a silly question. They are rationing even the cyanide now.

He wants to talk, about what? About books. It's tempting—but then I remind myself; nobody understands us; we're all alone; we live as we dream. But I no longer dream, the moon is down. All through the night, God preserve me.

The Moon is Down. I think they could have won if they had been completely, absolutely ruthless. But they did win, he said. Like the women and children, why do they need the women and children? Kill them all! Let the road run red with their blood! But they did win, he insisted. They needed only slaves. It was that commander—colonel—whatever, he was too soft. He wanted things to be civil—but they can't have it both ways! It's like those firing squads, killing someone humanely—you can't kill someone humanely—you either do brutally or you don't do it at all! But they did win. I'm not saying we should go back to medieval times, I explained, with the public torture and all that. I'm just saying it might be better that way. He picked at the thorn in his paw; I could have you shot for saying that. You'd better garrote me instead.