March 25, 2013

People want, most of all, almost to the exception of everything else—to live. And if we cannot get over that, then we cannot get anything done. People just want to live, in whatever shitty little way possible. For this reason there will always be great evil in this world.

I remember the first time I heard about somebody dying, it was over the phone, I kept asking—are you sure? Are you sure? There must be a mistake. Haha, like in a bad movie or something. Of course I'm not afraid of dying. Right. I mean, I'm not afraid of getting shot. A sharp, short, shot. Suicide pills would be okay too. I think the only death I'm not okay with is torture. That's just not fair.

I was reading about torture in WWII (as we all do) and came across this statement: That there is absolutely no evidence the Allies ever tortured any Nazis. Right. I imagine it's something that always happens in wartime, that we all just slip under the rug. I mean, this fucker wouldn't tell me where the bomb was, what the fuck was I supposed to do? But it's an interesting question. People seemed to take it as a matter of course that if you got captured by Nazis you would be tortured and eventually killed (perhaps in one go). It's like a litany: tortured and killed, tortured and killed, tortured and killed… So would the Allies just—not do that? Right. I imagine the interrogators on that side were that much worse at their jobs.

I was reading about Gestapo torture the other day. They had this really notorious, feared torture they'd do with a bathtub—like basically they had this bathtub full of ice cold water and they'd keep drowning you in the bathtub until—oh, so like waterboarding basically. Great.

Coupled with the fact that people can live under the most adverse circumstances. It takes effort to quash out a life, in most cases. Much more effort than is required for living itself. But when somebody wants to die—that's different. That's weird. That's strange. Really, all that's required to die is the Will to die. People talk about the Will to live like that's amazing. Really, all that's encoded in our biology. The real secret is not letting the Will to die creep in there anywhere. That's a purely human thing.

I got sent to the school psychologist two times in my career. The first time we were talking about The Trail Of Tears and the teacher asked me: What would you do, Andrew, if these soldiers showed up at your door and said you had to leave your home and go across the country? I'm not going. Okay, but then they point a gun at you, what then? Shoot me. I'm not going. The second time I said suicide was okay under certain circumstances. Like when the Gestapo's knocking on your door.