I cry.
I cry because
I hurt.
I hurt because
I'm broken.
I'm broken because
I was suicidal.
I was suicidal because
I hear voices.

I didn't sleep.
I didn't shut my eyes.
I didn't even try.
I stayed up staring at
the rushing nurses,
listening to their conversations
about Ryan's new hair cut,
how he's moving,
about Jillian's new shoes,
about the patient in 413
who passed away.

I tried to wiggle my toes,
I tried to whisper to myself,
I tried to become a human
once again.

(I'm lonely.)

I don't have to be alone.
But please, don't come near me.

Justin came to visit me.
He touched my shoulder and
asked how I felt.

I flipped him off.

The nurse came to give me
more pain medicine.

I flipped her off.

I hate people.

I hate life.

I can't talk,
I can't walk,
I'm broken.

(I'm lonely.)

The pain is unbearable.
My head pounds,
my tummy churns,
my eyes burn
from all the tears.

I refuse to eat.
"Mariah, you have to eat."

I flipped him off.

(I'm lonely.)

Why am I so lonely?