Icarus

I am jealous of the shadow
Lurking at the bottom of the lake;
Like hazy eyed Narcissus,
I am vain and selfish and fake.

The shadow skulks in loch-land eyes;
It is the greyness in which you drown.
And I'm burning in the sunlight,
So tired of soaring above this town.

I feel whole and un-whole,
And complete and incomplete,
And I don't know how
To feel one without the other.

I envy the shadow that so skilfully
Drowns everyone in sight.
I'm blinded because I can see;
I'm powerless because I can fight.
Don't you get it?
I'm destined for the ocean,
For failure in mid-flight.

What if I don't want to be the strong one anymore?

Well I suppose it would be easy
To join you drowning in the shadows;
We'd have something to share,
A darkness to covet.

All I have to do
Is push it too far –
Fly too high,
Aim for the sun and not
Just for the skies.

Because maybe I want to shed my skin too,
Reduce myself to blood and bone;
Because maybe then you'll love me;
Maybe then I won't be alone.

I am jealous of the shadow
Because it has taken what I love most,
And left me with nothing but a truth –
Left me with nothing but a ghost.

And this truth is what I've always feared;
It is what I've always known.
It is the truth whispered by the darkness,
Every time I am alone.

The truth is that you have to be drowning
For anyone to save you in this life.
And the truth is you have to be saved;
You have to drown in the pain and the strife.

And if you're not drowning,
No-one will love you.

No-one loved Icarus,
After all,
Until he drowned in that shadowy sea.