So I decided I was going to write the next great novel of the century. I soon realized, however, that I have the attention span of a potato and a finicky sense of what people may actually find interesting. I settled on a collection of random musings from my daily life instead, and while I may not seem like a very interesting person as a whole, these events will hopefully make for a good laugh. Or giggle. Or, at the very least, a histrionic eye roll. You see, I am not one to follow typical social conventions. I find foundation to be sticky and itchy and personally do not like feeling like a Barbie. I am proud of the fact that I know what "defenestration" means. I still giggle at my "the cow says 'mu'" shirt, and my hypotamoose shirt, and my octopi shirt. I fall up stairs and laugh at it. I listen to 1920's big band and Breaking Benjamin and Taylor Swift and Walk the Moon. I like to think that it would be very hard to characterize me. But I am also hoping that through these random captions of my life that this becomes pretty self-evident. And so I will begin with the first day of my sophomore year in high school.
I had just joined the cross country team at my school. Granted, I looked a bit like a paraplegic giraffe when I ran, but I wasn't all that bad, and I didn't really care how I looked. At least I was out there trying. However, as I was walking down the hallway zoning out in my usual fashion, I heard someone calling my name and muttering something incomprehensible. It turned out to be my good friend and the guy I had had a crush on for three years (no judgement, please). We will call him Nate for our purposes. I walked over to Nate, who happened to be standing in a group of 6 guys, all fairly attractive, thinking he would say something about how it's good to see me, blah blah blah, how was your summer, et cetera. I was wrong. The first words spoken to me by a member of the opposite sex on my first day of my second year of high school were: "You run funny." Gee. Thanks. How am I? I'm great, thanks for asking. And you? Oh, that's good to hear! All right, talk to you later. Nevermind the odd grammatical convention of using 'funny' as an adverb, but that was just not what a person wants to hear. I hung my head in shame and walked away. Welcome to my life.