Desperately searching for a creation I could do as enrichment, I was stumped. I have absolutely no artisic ability, so that was out of the question. I finally stumbled upon The Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift, so I read the essay.
The Modest Proposal was written in 1729 in response to a problem in Ireland. Swift had noticed that the economic status of Ireland is incredibly poor, and is in desperate need of fixing. Swift wrote this completely satirical essay in order for people to realize just how bad the state of Ireland is.
Swift was annoyed by all of the kids, who begged on the streets because of their need for food. Thousands of children who, according to Swift, cause financial burden when they become a year old, which is when the parents must start paying for food for the babies. Swift's solution is simple. He proposes that when a baby turns one year old, the baby is sold to the wealthy people to be eaten. This would, obviously, decrease the amount of starving children, increase the income for parents, and lower the expenses on food the parents would otherwise be spending. Clearly, this would solve everything.
This satirical essay is said with a straight face tone, with plenty of sarcasm. Swift is flawless with his satire, and makes his point loud and clear.
For my creation, I have decided to create my own modest proposal. I would pick a problem, and come up with a ridiculous solution to stand behind. My Modest Proposal is attached, speaking on the problem of school shootings, and in no way do I actually believe what I propose.
Our entire nation felt the afterschock when a twenty year old man went into an elementary school in Connecticut, and killed 27 people, including himself. This person was the topic of conversation for weeks to come in our country, and he was unnecessary. It never should have happened. School shootings have become a major problem in our country, and they desperately need to stop. I never had the answers. I knew it needed stopped, but I never knew what could possibly be done to end it. However, while watching a show about animals with my dad, we finally made the connection.
You see, the show was about elephants. While looking at their enormous bodies, it finally clicked. An elephant could never, not in a million years, commit a school shooting. It simply could not pull the trigger, even if it could somehow find a way into the building. As for my dad and I, this was our answer. We found the solution to school shootings. It's this little procedure that we like to call "elephantizing".
"Elephantizing" is actually quite simple, and very effective. The idea is sprung from the concept that if a person cannot pull the trigger, then they cannot shoot the gun. Simple, like an elephant. The solution to school shootings is to simply cut off all of the fingers of every single person, effectively preventing them from being able to pull the trigger.
The procedure would be completely safe, with no threat of infection, disease, or even death. The pain would only be subtle, and would last for only a little while. Of course, everyone would have to go through the procedure, no matter what age they are now. The procedure will begin with those in high school, since many school shootings stem from high school students. It will then be performed on those from ages 18 to 40, who are more likely to commit a school shooting. Eventually everyone, no matter what age, will be "elephantized." Just one simple procedure, and the problem will be effectively gone.
From then on, any newborn baby would have the procedure performed on them when they are first born. That way they will be able to adapt to having no fingers better, and it will always be a part of their lives.
Cutting off every finger of every person is exactly what this country needs. We cannot sit idly by, waiting for the day when people are good, and won't go into schools and shoot people. We have to be proactive. "Elephantizing" is crucial, and the only effective solution to this problem.
We need to be like the animals. The animals have never had a problem with shootings, never. Why? Because they can't pull the trigger! Making ourselves like the elephants would insure that school shootings would be destroyed.
Personally, I do believe that "elephantizing" would be a natural and effective solution to our problem. This problem needs solved, and I have the answer. Just cut everyone's fingers off, preventing them from being able to shoot the gun. If one cannot shoot, one cannot have school shootings. So, be like the animals, and support "elephantizing". It's simple, but effective.