i can feel their breath on my

face it's all over me the

pits and shhs and coughs of

disappointment-favoritism-hate and the

hot he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he of my shadows

like dropping coins down a toy machine

the he-he-he hot coins down my shirt

and just leave me, daddy, i

can't feel my bones

my blood pressure's crying

i kind of feel like i might like dying

every romantic at some point

they want what we need them to

you have what you want, leave me

i'm scared

i'm so sos

sos sossos

sos

tap the morse code only you know

'cause somebodies gotta save this ship

we are going down, my life is going

down the rabbit hole

and i am alive and god i need

i need

i need someone who needs someone else

who wants to be me

and i bargain with the light of my phone

to keep away the man of my shadows

and for the fan to kill it

and my body hates me but it's okay

because i have the ocean inside my vomit

and the sun in my blood

and when i stick the needle in my skin

the metal, it glints;

glimmers and

shines