Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do.
As a child there is so much more to see,
There is so much more freedom to be.
When I was six it seemed there was,
So much more time than there is now.
The grass was so much greener
And the laughs were so much louder
I could close my eyes and believe
No monsters were lurking there
Now I close my eyes and the truth never goes away
Those demons in the shadows are here to stay.
Do you remember
When every dandelion was a gift;
A world unto itself;
Wish after wish after wish?
When did we start grumbling,
Like our parents so often do,
About the weeds and the lawn mower.
As we grow older,
Does nothing stay true?
The backyard used to be an adventure upon adventure;
A pirate ship,
A dragon's den.
We could go to Japan,
Swim the ocean blue,
Or create somewhere entirely new.
Now I barely glance out the window,
At where I used to roam,
Now I'm much too busy;
I always have somewhere else to be;
Always something better to do,
But now I realize,
How quickly days slip away from you.
I remember my best friend,
Who had so much more than me
But I never had a green-eyed monster.
I just went to her house
And she just came to mine.
I never thought about her expensive toys,
How she held her head higher,
Than I ever could.
Now I look around,
Not sure if I like what I see,
All these green eyes flashing 'round,
Sometimes seated beside me.
When did all that I had,
All that I always thought would be enough
Cease to be?
Since when do we want
Things that won't even matter a year
From the day you said
"I need some money to go buy this"?
It's not only the possessions that have become
A point of need; a staple in society
It's become our looks
Whose hand we hold
if any –
The alcohol we drink
And who we've taken to bed.
Why is there hiding your head because
Of something you've done
From your past that you wish to let go of?
Why do we laugh at those
Who make different choices,
Not caring as slowly they shut their eyes to fade away
While you strut around like you own the place?
Too much of one is toxic.
Too much of the other is poison.
Back and forth
Never knowing where you stand
Even with yourself.
You can stand and watch
Eyes focused on how they
Take what they want,
Not full of themselves,
As you stand,
Heart thumping wildly,
Too intimidated by all that's around you
To even utter
As a child,
Wouldn't you have walked right up,
Without all these questions of acceptance,
And thoughts of being judged,
Running through your head.
Funny how much things can change
In the span it takes you to blink.
The world takes one rotation
And, suddenly, no one is who you
Thought them to be.
You remembered when you could talk to her,
As you'd known her all your life,
All you can feel is the sting of her knife
Built of the words said behind your back
And to your face.
There was a time when kindness
Was as common as the leaves on trees
Everyone wants something,
You ask yourself about ulterior motives behind their smile,
Not believing you've come to the point,
Where you can't believe,
Someone is just being nice.
As a child
I never cared for tantrums
Never had to yell
But now I feel there's so much
To rage and complain about
It used to take a deep breath,
A squeeze shut of the eyes,
And then I was okay,
Nothing harsh left to express,
Nothing brutal left to say
But as I've grown,
So has a roar within me,
That I can't quite quench,
It's a growl
That explodes when I least expect it
And never goes a way.
A tear always seems to be on my cheek,
Or threatening to fall.
It used to be I cried
Over scraped knees
And broken toys.
Now sadness is it's own kind of disease.
Everywhere I look,
A problem's plaguing someone.
It used to be that a smile
Was always genuine, simple
Brought on by something like rock candy
Now happiness is worked for,
No longer comes to me naturally,
Yet another reason
To become the child I used to be.
The child that threw her arms wide open,
Had the entire world next to her chest,
Never believing she would love any less.
Or be loved
But like all things made of gold,
The chaos unfolds.
Deep rooted despise,
Tragic thoughts unbound
Wrenched the world from her grasp,
To fall in shattered pieces
And all she had held with her heart,
Adored up close,
Loved from afar,
She struggles to collect
Not ready to accept
It had never been perfect
Would never be.
As a child
I saw all the colours
But my universe was so very black and white
There was wrong
And there was right.
I used to understand
Saw with different eyes,
If I had kept that point of view,
If I had managed to stay that true,
Would my life be better
Or would I simply be torn apart
By all those fellows that had outgrown,
Their childhood hearts?
I've forgotten all the colours,
Let everything fade away
But there's not just black and white,
There's too many shades of grey.
Nothing is clear for me now,
It's like looking through mud
Where there used to be crystal.
I look back on who I was,
To who I have become,
To what I might someday be.
The stars used to be a magical place to visit in my dreams,
Yet now I know what they truly are.
I no longer look at a ladybug
As it's own miracle.
There's no erasing who I was
Or the trials I've walked through.
There's been changes and there'll be changes still.
Maybe there's magic in the sky remaining,
In every blade of grass
And people will help a stranger
Without having to be asked.
We'll all rediscover our hearts
As we uncover who we are;
There's no question: we've come so far.
I'll love with my whole heart
I'll leave my tears behind.
Just as I've experienced before,
It will simply take some time.
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know, you know I love you so.
©The Last Letter
The lyrics at the beginning and the end are from Yellow by Coldplay.