I know of the shadows that society casts on every wall. They tell too many secrets. No sound emits but they speak of many truths. No voice for those to hear from afar. Eclipsing your scars as well as your beauty, you know yourself no more. I look upon your absolute shade portrayed on the bright white brick wall. You see I cannot tell of many things on simply the cloths you wear or your tattered broken grin. Appearances mean little to my eyes. Even looking people in the eyes shows little to me. I wasn't always like this. I used to be so sensitive. Feeling your pain just by walking past and seeing your uneven shoulders or your bitten-off finger nails were the cues for my sense of sympathy. But alas, I see no contrariety. My gazes no longer shift to the eyes but to merely the umbra that many forget, blind to see them in passing. I see secrets enveloped in them. I cannot describe what happens but a flush of thoughts. It happens instinctively. I have only been able to control it under extreme circumstances and even then emotions not my own seep through and spill into my psyche. I see your sins, your sorrows and your regrets. I feel them.
Sandra. That is I. A warning must be given to you. Don't you ever dare pronounce my name wrong. It is not pronounced like the desert sands but rather like the drawn out choirs that sing holy hymns. Dare you ever pronounce it wrong, I will guarantee you either utter embarrassment that even your mother would cringe at or physical pain that will last you many days. I am unsure why I take this so far. The hatred of the prior pronunciation is to the utmost annoying. It's too pretty. The sense of saying my name is stronger sounding and better portrayed. I hope you can see the anger in my eyes if you do such a thing.
Oh, that is right. You can't see me. Then allow me a chance to reveal thine self to you. Men have told me my eyes are of sapphires. They have even told me that they want to take them from me for there own keeping. I do not see how this can be so. Only blue eyes are what I see. Why would they want such eyes for them to have? What would they even do with them? They are just eyes and are simple to me. Many women have told me that they wish to have the shine that my jet black hair emits. My hair touches the bottom of my shoulder blades by nature but I prefer to have it pulled into a high ponytail. Girls envy it so. They ask me why to pull it back then let it go and show it flow as I walk. I am a fighter. I dare not let it freely fly around. For the same reason, I despise high heels. One cannot fight in such attire without risking a fall. Flats are a necessity. I wear a short cape that goes around my body. Approximately to my lowest part of my rib cage, it lays on me over my sleeveless dress shirt. Both of which are black with dark blue trim. Black dress pants with the same trim finishes my royal outfit. All of these are very important, as I am able to move in all these pieces of clothing. Oh, what's that? You are questioning my use of the term royal? Why, yes, I am of royalty. I will speak of this manner later but I must tell you I am not the only. For you see, I have a sister. The other half of myself whom is much wiser than I. Her name is Alex.
Much too similar to I but as much my opposite. Though we have that shine and jet black hair, she prefers it short. Chin length hair to be precise. She may even have it shorter like a boy if she truly desired it. Her eyes are blue as well, though they are more like the rich sky blue that envelopes the summer sky. Her clothes are much the same. Her preference is of white with light blue trim. She can read people much like me. See into your pains and into your wrongs. The only mere difference is she can not see through your shadow but through your eyes. She can see your darkest desires and pains just by peering into your tired and flooded eyes.
We are of royalty. You would think that we sit upon thrones and let others do the dirty work. Alex had done that for ten years and I, well, I decide to take them on with my own hands. I do not wish to elaborate on the past that I have lived. It is full of regret. I hate it so. I can never tell of it... yet. For now, I will fight back and redeem myself. It is all that I can do, in a universe of hell and war.
I can give you a chance to see what I see and feel what I feel if for just one moment. I'll take this man walking past me right now. He is a tall muscular forty-some year old blonde. His simple mustache circles down and around his chin into a full circle. A circle beard I do believe is what they are called. White tank shirt formed perfectly around his hard rock abs and perfect blue jeans to complete the look. He must of just bought them because there is not a single lick of dirt or tear to be seen. That goes for the athletic shoes as well. His hands are in his pockets. Posture is spot on perfect, tall and straight with shoulders at perfect position. I lean against the wall to taste his shadow as he passes. He blocks the bright summer sun and I am encased in shade.
A sudden taste fills my mouth. I have to open my mouth and stick out my tongue turning my head away to think on the sensation. There is no delightful flavor to this but I know it is liquid. So nasty it makes my head shake. I cannot give words to describe this drink. It kind of tastes like cough syrup. I suddenly feel light headed and lean my head on the wall to comfort myself. Taking a deep breathe, I looked at the man. He has walked passed me without a care. I push myself off of the wall to gander at his actual shadow.
I am suddenly taken in by emotions. These are nothing of mine. I have no reason to feel the way that I do. It is of a different 'flavor'. A sense of knowing what is yours and what is not is something of great importance when you get into this kind of business. My heart feels blank. A cough invades as I feel the taste of that liquid hit my throat again. It burns. The light headed sensation comes over me again. That sensation is very real. Though I have no physical reason to feel it, it still over comes me with great force. Placing my hand upon that same wall as before, I feel a sense of understanding. That burn in the back of the throat, that is alcohol. Vodka if I am not mistaken. A sense of knowing comes into my mind, he does so every other night. The coughing over rides me again. Why am I coughing? I stay back and look at his shadow as quickly as I can. His silhouette begins to shift. Suddenly, his hair is more sagged as well as his denim pants. He starts picking up his pace for some reason and so as my curiosity peeks I quietly tail behind. Upon some closer inspection his shadow shows his hair as more clumped together. I wasn't far from him; maybe ten feet. Something is dripping from his hair and face. His body shows no such thing. No one else has noticed, at all. No one else is seeing what I am. His shadow is the same as mine and any other should according to the common public. The dripping in his shadow shows some piercing light going through it. It was not opaque. He is picking up his pace to a minor jog and I silently keep up, controlling my feet to not make a sound as I step.
He goes to make a turn around the corner and I stop in my tracks. Taking a deep breathe, I do not speak up nor whisper. Instead, I mouth my question to the shadow; as if my own shadow were talking to it, "Hello." The shadow whips around turning towards my shadow, forcing his body to stop. His hair flails and 'water' flings from the tips. The shadow is him. It is representation of his true self. His pains and hopes in one black cast onto the world. I continue to lip my words to it.
His mouth forms into an 'O' then relaxes. I tilt my head and keep my eyes on the shadow.
"I am fine." The man's body turns around and looks at me. He showed no emotion. "I just don't like people following me like that."
I dare not turn my eyes away from his shadow. From the looks of his silhouette, his profile disappeared and would reappear. I assumed his head was moving back and forth. It is shaking his head in response.
"My apologies. Is everything alright?" I ask aloud as I attempt to take a step forward. The man grids his teeth.
"I am fine thank you."
Halting my steps, I look at his rich green eyes. I see that they are indeed angry. Squinting his eyes, he clenched his fists in determination. Why are you so angry? My face goes blank. The man's pupils fluctuate rapidly, very rapidly. Oh... I see. I focus my emotions and his at the same time. The knowing of who I am and him all at the same time. A constant balance to keep myself from slipping into the very pain he so had, as the very moment seemed to shift was the grandest thing and the most important. You are no help to anyone if you can not keep you yourself from falling into the very pain that they have drowned them selves into. I feel the world slowly break down. People passing by stop. Not to watch us, but because the flow has stopped. In mid-step, freeze frame is becoming evident. Birds freeze in mid-flight. Or at least, so it seems.
The shadow's wide stance and half opened mouth filled with determination. I felt a gravity towards it. It begged for my presence. The shadow knew I could help. It doesn't know exactly how but it knows I can see it. I can speak to shadows. There is nothing more satisfying than hearing... no. That is not what it is. You don't hear anything. You feel. The words just translates in your head. It's like sign language. No sound to speak but so many words to be spoken. You know the translation. You don't hear the words and instinctively react in that sense. You just translate this unbeknownst language that no one else can conceive. You just know. You always just know. If shadows could talk, oh what they could say. It attempts to take a step forward only for its feet to be jammed by the body. It falls to its knees. The man looks at its shadow. He sees it as I do. There is no difference. He grins. The darkness knows. It has a consciousness. It is a being. What is inside him controls his body. They of its kind know of me and my kind. He knows I am on to him already.
"Heh. Please. Spare me your ignorance." He places his hands on his hips and boasts a laugh that is all his lungs can muster. He continues to banter.
"He has no need of any help. He was happy at first, being alone. I gave him that peace. He wanted to be alone. So I gave him that resolution. I made sure of that very wish. Every one of his family members are not a part of his life now. He prayed that someone or something would come and grant him peace of mind and body. He wished to withdraw from the world. The pain that held him down, I lifted away. I live his life for him. He lives in his lonely world. No one sees him and yet he sees it all." I sense an overwhelming strain come over me as I imagine what it had to truly feel deep down in his subconscious. The shadow tilts its head to the ground. It started to quiver and a single drop of what looked like water fell from his face. He had no control of what was being said through this man's mouth. Trapped in the transparent darkness, the real him could not make sense of it all. The man continued.
"Cry all you want. You are nothing but a mere shadow." The shadow turned its head as if to look at him. "I am better off this way... no one to worry about me or vise versa. I am perfectly alright thank you very much."
I peer into the shadow once more. I can hear her scream, his wife. Not out of fear or anger, but out of confusion of what her dear husband has become. A premonition comes over me as I through her eyes. How odd. I am taken on the role of the wife. How is this so? An old cabin living room with the man sitting in a lounge chair with a bottle of wine in his left hand. I could not read the label. I had no control of where to look. The vision was blurred and her eyes filled with what I assumed were tears. He looks at her and I saw his eyes. Oh how mad they seem. The voices are muffled. This wife of his can't remember what was said then. I wonder why... The man stands up and starts yelling at her. She steps back. I suddenly feel myself falling backwards. She has tripped over something. It feels like it could have been a chair. I can see her hands being placed over her eyes. The man raises the bottle and swings it towards her. It ends.
I feel myself jerk back. I awake to see the still sky. I was lying on my back. Drowsy and a bit befuddled, I pull myself up to my knees to find the man had not left. I must not have been out for long. I started question myself and what I had saw. Normal circumstances would suggest that I would see from his view. Looking into shadows would bring me only there respective persons perspective. Why would I have envisioned this from her view? Why hadn't the man left? He had a clean get away. Why stay? I looked the man.
"You killed her." I said aloud. The man did not flinch. The shadow placed his hands on his face. He was crying. I am so sorry, sir. I can only imagine how you feel. But why sir why? And how was I able to see through her eyes? The pupils of the man's eyes grew. They were no longer fluctuating. The pupils got bigger and bigger till then covered his whole eye. Both eyes are pitch black.
"So," I begin with questionable confidence, "it seems that the darkness has finally gripped you. You are indeed a broken man. I have no idea how I was able to just see through her eyes. She died from a blow to the head. You killed her for some reason that she refuses to show me. I don't think I can understand your pain fully. I am not given any present reason as to why you did such an action." I suddenly dawn a thought. What if...
"Sir," I continue," I do not believe that you were necessarily the one whom killed her." I stopped looking at his eyes and looked at the shadow. He was looking at me. Jaw dropped. He brought his hand to his chest. His arms began to quiver. I embraced myself and pushed on with the thought.
"I do not believe you can blame yourself any longer on the thought. You were influenced by something. You were not the one whom really hit her. I could not see your eyes but I could feel the fear. She was scared but she was also concerned. You were not yourself. You did something very wrong. Whatever that was I assure you..." I look at the man once more. "YOU are to blame! One whom darkens hearts! Being of manipulation! You will fail!"
I let my mind flush into the shadow. Darkness was all around. I know longer need to speak in any way. All I needed was to think. I found myself in a surrounding black abyss. I said my peace. Let me see through you. If I see through your eyes, I can help you. You didn't mean it did you? You didn't see your wife did you? You saw something else. You are being controlled. This is not who you truly are. The darkness that has inhabited you is far too surreal to be real. And yet here you are, in this dark hateful place in your head where it feels some what ... right. You were fooled. You were tricked. I am so sorry for your loss. I have a hunch of what it is. I want you to show me to confirm. Play back your memories of that day. I want to help. A glimmer of light had shown in front of me as the scenery of the cabin was being presented to me. It flickered. He is loosing his will. Hatred flooded myself. The pain started to flood me. A tear came to my eye. Please don't feed me this. It will not help you. I wipe away the tear. A wave of pain hits me strong to the heart. My heart swells. I am over whelmed by emotions that were simply not my own. My heart pounds as if being punched multiple times. It brings me to my knees. Now if feels constrained. I am at loss for breathe. I am gasping for air. Please... stop! I can't just receive your pain. I can't... I am slowly loosing sight of the light from earlier. Am I passing out or am I fainting? I can not tell. All I know is that all this pain and loss of his wife is streaming through me at such a rate I can not control. Suddenly, I felt light headed once more. Screaming runs through my head. Friends and families of his are pulsing through my head with such confusion and anger. I hear jail doors open and close again. He was put into prison. Passing in my head at lightning speeds, along with the dizziness and heart pounding, I feel my self sinking. This is something you must never do. Once you feel yourself sink, you must pull back or you will never come back. Please, just show me what happened. I can help you. I feel your hate for yourself and the loneliness after you came back from jail. No one loved you but you have to forgive yourself. You are being controlled. You said you weren't ok. Why would you admit it if you won't let me help you?
It is too late and I must pull back. I push my hands in front of me and I feel myself being pushed back. I suddenly feel the senses of reality and the relief of his pain. I can not hold myself again and I fall to my knees. I continue the fall and land on my side, rolling to my back. Drenched in sweat I feel stunned. My eyes wont blink. I can feel the concrete on my back. The blue skies hover over me. I try so hard to gain myself back.
The man grinned. He was now the darkened power that possessed him. For no one was going back now. I laid there as if dead. There was no movement of any kind. The wind couldn't blow. There was none. I roll to my stomach in hopes of getting up. I look at the shadow. The man was walking towards me. I ignore him.
"Fight." I 'say' to the shadow. I spoke with no sound but had my head turned to a perfect profile. I kept thinking that he could fight this thing back. He did not so long ago before when he turned his back to him in such panic. The shadow proceeded to pull his feet as if it were stuck in mud, with no avail. The man was getting close. Whatever he wants to do, he won't get the chance. I stand to my feet, slowly.
In a sudden twist of events, the shadow suddenly took its own form and separated from the body and started to float. The shadow was left behind as the man kept walking. The shadow went into a moments shock and placed his hands over his mouth. The appearance of reflective water showed all around him. Five feet closer, I stay my grounds. I stared at the man's black eyes and mouthed on more sentence. Confirmation is what I needed. I had to, otherwise it wouldn't work. My heart started to race but I kept my stance.
"Do you want my help? You can not blame yourself. It was nothing that you could have prevented. I can put an end to this, if you let me." I mouthed this last line. He wailed his arms around, trying to gain strength from what unknown understandings it had. He covered his face. The man was two feet away and nothing was stopping him now. The shadow was drowning. Limp actions of his head and arms took effect. I think he partially gave up. If I can't get his permission, there is nothing I can do. It is law.
I suddenly heard a soft voice; the very voice that the body used. It was his real voice. I saw his shadow's mouth move at the same time. I heard as a weak whisper. Chilling as it sounded; it was satisfying.
The man's body raised his hand to grab my neck. Not today. Wind kicked around me and a one handed sword materialized in front of me. I swing my arm to grab the handle and the man steps back in astonishment. The wind calms and I stand at attention with Destiny Blade at my right hand. I rose my voice so both shall hear.
"I stand here with my Destiny Blade. You gave me permission to free you. I cast upon you light to peal you away from the darkness laid upon you. You ask me for help and I shall happily oblige." I raised my blade above my head staring now at the shadow. It was floating chest up. I haven't much time. He is legitimately dying.
I switched the blade into position for a stab. I aimed head strong right for the heart. I pulled my blade back, using my other hand to hold the man back. With a quick thrust it went quickly through the mans heart. No blood was spilled. I did not penetrate his body. My sword glowed around the entrance and exit points the sword went through. It is as if it went through as a ghost would. I penetrated not something physical. I went through where the darkness lives for many, in the heart. His soul would soon be released from the thing it made him do unaware. I was over whelmed by another premonition. I saw through, this time, the man's eyes. He was enjoying a glass of red wine by the fire in his chair in the same room. But instead of his wife, it was a foreign man; a man that was not known to him. He assumed a robbery was in place. He stood up and grabbed the wine bottle with his left hand and stepped forward. The 'robber' tripped over a chair and fell backwards. The man tried to swing with the bottle and the robber brought his hands over his head in defense. The impact of bottle to the head killed him instantly. Thank you for showing me.
I pull out of it quickly. The man was standing in shock. Screaming in pain, I knew I had hit the right spot. The darkness that had taken over had disguised his wife (to his eyes) as a robber, so that the man would kill. The action would leave guilt and insecurity to him. How dare you...
I take grip of the handle with both hands and a simple twist causes much agony. I catch a glance at the shadow. It is fading away. Fuck! I looked back at the dark abyssal eyes. I spoke with pure heart's intent.
"Be gone! Let this man be, for you have caused enough damage. You trick the weak and please the foolish. He is done with you! I am fucking done with you! Forgive yourself stranger! Or it will be for nothing! You are not to blame of this sickening task that was done. If you are to blame anything, blame this!" I struck the blade upward as if to pierce the shoulder blades. But alas, there was not physical damage done. Perfectly intact, the body was motionless. What came from the body was a black crystal. Four inches long by one inch wide it flew into the air. I peaked at the shadow to see the body slowly float to the ground. I kicked the body and it flew backwards landing hard on the ground near his shadow. I jump straight into the air and simply touch the blade to the black jewel. Shattering in an instant, it falls to the floor and fades away.
I land on my feet and with a swish of my sword to my side it vanishes in light. I feel movement in the air once more. I am unsure what causes these pauses in the flow of time. As powerful as I would love to claim, I just don't have the simple and uncanny ability to stop time.,. neither does Alex. With this aside I walked to the body and saw the shadow on the wall. Floating to the floor, its shadow met with the body, becoming one once again. I knelt down to see the man waking and coming to. Shadow and body were one. Movement is synchronized. I spoke to him.
"Do you remember?" He nodded.
"Did you see the crystal?" He nodded.
"Do you forgive yourself?" Hesitation struck him. He wants the pain to be gone but he is unsure of his resolve.
"You must. It will simply return if you don't. As long as you come to peace with yourself of this mistake then you will be free and immune of the black crystals. You will be immune to the pain. Please do that?" I whisper into his ear. Look deep into his eyes, they were there normal color and they were rapidly moving about. He was thinking. Searching for resolve, he looked at me. His voice is strong and like the whisper of his confirmation from before.
"But I killed her. It was an accident." He said to me in complete disbelief of the events that has taken place. I looked at him with a small grin.
"It blinded you and fooled you. Of course, you didn't do it on purpose. You must forgive yourself of that." He looked passed me and into the blue sky. People were surrounding us. They all are quite concerned of his welfare.
"Is he ok?"
"Someone call an ambulance!"
I pulled out my small track phone from my cloak jacket and called 9-1-1. The man was worn out and would need a place to rest. I give them the information of our location and keep my eyes on the man. I decided to finish in telepathic mannerisms.
Just listen to me, please. Many people are going through the same pain as you. Those crystals are not of this world. Many others have the same phenomenon as you. You did not kill your wife. If anything, the crystal did. Please, do not fret. She is in peace and knows of what has truly happened. I believe she showed me her view to help me see what fully has happened. She knows you were not yourself. She is watching you right now.
The man seems shocked. I feel a presence and I assume it is a pedestrian but to find an incorporeal figure knelt down, like me, looking at the man. She seemed so happy and yet so sad to see him in this condition. My last statement was just sympathetic. I didn't actually think she was right there. Brown hair is moving with the wind as well as her white night gown. Dark eyes, soft and sad, glance at him. No one else can see her; just him and I.
Hush now. Her lips do not move as she speaks. I know you are not to blame. She has shown me the truth of what is happening here. I love you, honey. Don't you ever forget that. She leans in close and kisses him on the forehead then his tired lips. I swear I can see the compression of the skin as she touches him. He begins to cry. I hold back my tears. Now is not the time. Composure must be met until I head home. She stands up and begins to walk away. The man tries to sit up but I hold him back. Wincing in pain, he lays down.
"I love you too, honey... and I am sorry." He says to her one last time. She walks into the crowd and disappears. I have the phone still in my hand and stay on the line till the ambulance come to take him to the near by hospital. I tell them he simply passed out on the street.
As I turn to walk away, I am stopped by one of the paramedics. He leads me to the man in the stretcher. Tears are still on his face and he is fading out. He needs rest. He grabs my arm tightly and pulls me in so that I may hear his words. Raspy in tone, the man tells me his last words with strong assertion.
"Thank you..." I grin and reply.
"You're welcome. May they never hurt you again." He is wheeled into the ambulance and I swear that I saw the man grin back. I look to his shadow just before his is fully inside and it feels calm. That taste of vodka is gone from the shadow. It is quiet now. I don't sense any pain coming from it. He is taken away. No one takes note of me. They see me clearly. My attire does not seem to make them take notice. I walk away and turn into the street that the man almost took. A sense of relief comes over me. A small tear leaks from my face. I place my hand over my mouth and crack under the emotional pressure. A single puff of air escapes my mouth. Eyes slammed shut, tears escape me.
A light shows in front of me. Alex peers through the 6 foot tall, beaming, light. Did I fail to mention that we both can travel to different worlds? My strongest apologies. Yes, we are able to travel to different worlds with the help of these 'enlightening' portals, such bright gateways that allows us to go all over to find the black crystals that have infected so many. I look up at Alex and take a deep breathe. I hold for a few seconds and slowly let out the air from my shaky lungs. Wiping my tears away and holding composure, I look at her with stern tone.
"Time to go?" I ask her.
"If you want... and don't hold back those tears. It's good to cry, ya know?" She replies back with a smile. I shrug away her remark toughening up my insides and walk towards her. I nod.
"Paper work?" I ask her.
"Yeah. Thus is life I guess." She replies, bluntly.
We both walk into the light, not to be seen by anyone.
I have given you a mere example of what can happen in these situations. I do hope you found it amusing. The work we both do is vigorous. Paper work is mostly definitely not what I mean. She is next heir to the throne. She must handle all of the political issues that could take place. Magic runs through her veins and she chooses to retire the battle field and work on the mounds of paperwork that is of our kingdom. She hates it and feels that it must be done. Sacrifice, I guess.
This is all there is now. We must fight to save you all. If we can't do that, than all is lost. Everyone will fall to this monstrosity. I will not stand for it. This is our call. Would you fight with us if we so asked you? Would you take arm and save another. I do hope you do. If you won't...
Who else would?