and she told them about this

boy and the other boy and all the boys

she 'loved' and tried

to force herself to feel anything,

to feel something, entangling herself

in those hopeless love stories

(she thinks she might have been

in love once, with the

boy whose brown eyes sparkled and

whose silky smooth hair felt like black liquorice

when he put his head on her chests and

told her that there was nothing better in

this world than someone like her

but she locked that love

in a a safe and hid it under her bed)

and they know

she's never felt this alone

and she's never not been in love before

they want to her want,

because that is what everyone does,

yes?

they want. everyone wants.

but she's so numb and yes,

(because it's so hard)

the boy's are pretty but she

(to be alive right now )

don't feel a thing

(and not be in love)