Reminiscing
Author: Zorra Reed
Moonrise Inn Publications

I had a feeling before I'd left
I knew, I felt, I said to myself
I'm not welcomed here
Despite what they say
They'll ship me off
Say I can't stay.

What did I do wrong
or what didn't I do
To make them so certain
my presence was a danger
Was I so wrong
Did I come on to strong
They can't deal with me
What did I do
What caused them to hate me
Why am I sent away
Oh so suddenly?

Did I somehow hurt you?
No doubt in my mind
I always end up chasing away the blind.

Go away and leave me
I can't talk right now
if I try to speak
Words won't come out
Only sobs and sorrow
I can't let them escape
I can't let go of the pain
I need to feel something
I have no happiness now.

I hurt
I wish I could die
I wish I hated myself
I wish I hated you
I wish I could cry
But I can't now can I
'Cause someone might see
Someone might hear.

I can bear it within
Hold in my anger
Hold it in my mind
The pain that you so kindly gave
Makes me feel alive
I can't do anything with that pain
I can't face it without tears in my eyes.

What am I to do?
And where shall I go
Nowhere.
I'm trapped.
Stuck in this hole.
Trapped
Trapped
There is no light
No bright side to look on
No half-full glass for me
No one to depend on
No one to run to
No place to hide
No friendly face to smile
No kind hand reaching out
trying to understand.

I used to be empty
Used to be kind
Used to be angry
Used to be hate
Used to be love
Used to be everything

Not anymore
Now there's only hurting
It's not painful at all
It's not heartache, not deep enough
It's hurting
On the surface
Pricking at my eyes
It's hurting
It's who I am now
I'll never be anything but.

I'd forgotten what it felt to hurt
Thanks for reminding me
For putting me in my place
For letting me know that there's no escape.

Thank you…

Friend.