The Life of Aroure-Rose

By Eden Royle

Dear Diary,

Days turn into night, and then nights back into day. As each day goes by I feel myself slipping, I'm losing myself. I feel it, slowly, agonizingly painful. I don't think I will be able to get myself back this time, not completely.

I've done bad things in the past, horrible things, but I've always been able to ignore them, forget them.

Now I can't. Now people know me, they care about me, or at least they did before they saw me. Before they saw what I really am, and what I can do.

Does it all just go away that easily? Can it all just go away that easily? I suppose so; I mean I did lie to them. I could've told them. I should've told them. But would they've listened? Would they've trusted me if I had told them the truth?

I did what I did to protect them; I did what I had to do to save them. Would that have made a difference? Does the fact that I protected them cancel out the lies I told?

As I'm writing this I can't help but wonder if someone, someone who doesn't know anything about me, had heard my story, would they feel my actions justified? Does it matter? What about me and my version of events? Is what I've said true? Or am I losing my mind faster than anticipated?

Hear my story and judge for yourself.

Another decade, another place. I'd moved so frequently I had no place to call home. There were places I had fond memories of, but no place to call my own. The younger I pretended to be the longer I could stay in that place, but it was the same story every time; new place, new house, new school, new everything; except friend, never any friends. I isolated myself from people, I had to. Otherwise I could've done some serious damage. Not only to others, innocent others, but to myself as well. I was ok for a few hours around a lot of people, but then I'd have to go and compose myself because it would get too overwhelming. One on one situations I couldn't handle at all. There was just too much temptation for me to be able to control myself.

I knew what people at that place would be think when they saw me. The girls would be jealous of how I look; slight but curvy, long golden hair that cascades down to my waist, and eyes a brighter blue than the brightest lapis lazuli flower known to man. The boys on the other hand would have a field day. They'd enjoy how I looked, how I talked and the way I walked. But the one thing the girls and guys had in common was what they thought; 'she's just some emo girl who gets off on being a loner,' but that was not true. Yeah, I was into the dark scene; clothes, colours and everything, but that was kind of part of my gig. I would've given anything to have friends, or just people who remotely cared about me, I would've even settled for two faced back stabbing liars, just so I didn't have to be alone anymore. After a few decades, being alone becomes kind of boring.

Wanting something won't make it happen, actions won't either. Not when getting close to people can hurt them. I wouldn't take that risk. I would never allow myself to be that selfish; to jeopardise someone's life just so I didn't have to be alone anymore. I wouldn't be the girl who harmed innocent people for my own personal gain. I won't be that way, I just won't allow it.

Walking into that school was easy, especially since it was the twelfth one I'd been to. I just had to walk to the office, as instructed, and then make my way to my first class. On my way to the office I just held my head high and ignored all of the glances, glares and outright stares I got. When I got to the office, the headmaster was waiting for me and he stood with a girl lightly shorter than me. She had chestnut hair and big brown eyes.

"You must be Aroure. Welcome to shadowville comprehensive, my name is Mr Halliwell and this is Nina Wesley" He stood watching us expectantly, so Nina and I shook each other's hand "Nina will be your escort for a week or so, just to show you the ropes. Then maybe if you get along you'll become friends, Aroure Nina is in the majority of your classes so I'm sure she will be delighted to help you out if you get stuck on any homework:

"Ok, thank you"

"I think you'd both better get along to your first class, Nina we don't want a bad example being set to our new student"

"Of course not Mr Halliwell" The headmaster strode off back into his office, well I assumed it was his office because he was the only one in there, and he shut the door "So, I guess we better be getting to Biology"

"Great, first lesson on a Monday morning and it's one where I have to use my brain" that earned me a giggle. It was sort of twinkly, if a sound could be twinkly, and it made me want to laugh with her, but I didn't.

I sat through my first two lessons and just let everything the teachers said flow over the top of my head, I'd done these subjects at least three times already, and each time I'd aced the exams. So, I just sat and doodled in the back of my books. When it got to break I was relieved, doodling is only fun for as long as you have ideas on what to doodle, and I had run out. Nina took my arm and pulled me through the crowd that had gathered in the corridors.

"Hey, Aroure, you seriously need to meet my friends"

"Err, ok sure whatever" I followed her through the thick plumage that was the student body of Shadowville comprehensive, and stood at the back of the school building in a corner near the library. There stood three lads and two girls. As Nina was handing out introductions I learnt their names were Candice, Katrina, Zach, Michael and Paul. They all said hi and then the typical curiosity took over.

Candice asked me "So your name's Aroure-Rose? Wow, that's quite a mouthful" I smiled as I didn't know how else to reply other than a lame "yes" but I wouldn't be rendered lame on my first day

"Mind if we shorten it down to something catchy like Roary?" This was the dark velvet voice of a new comer, and his face was didn't let the expectations fall. He had black wavy hair, olive skin, a sharp jaw line and high cheek bones. He stood a couple of inches above me "Hi, I'm Ian Salvatore"

"Salvatore? Isn't that Latin?"

"You tell me"

"Yeah, I think it's Latin for saviour or something biblical like that"

"You know Latin?" on this question I got a bunch of stares, I felt kind of warn under their intense gazes

"A little bit. I know a few words and key phrases but I'm not exactly fluent"

"Hmm, shame. I think Latin would suit you"

"Thanks?"

"Ian stop flirting with her on her first day, at least let her get to know just how big of an arse you are first" this came from Katrina, who upon making the comment got furiously tickled by Ian. The whole group started laughing and egged Ian on, this was the first time I'd ever been involved in something as joyful as this, and I burst into hysterics. I felt like part of a group, like I was starting to make friends, but I wouldn't let myself get too close and attached, after all I'd be leaving in a few years and then I'd never see them again.

Last lesson we had English, and we were studying Shakespeare. As a fan of the play write I became engrossed in the lesson and I thought it ended all too fast. I was on my way out of the class when Candice and Michael stood either side of me and started walking with me

"Hey where are you going?" after not getting a chance to really talk to Michael I didn't really have a clear opinion of him, just that he liked to act cool

"I'm going home, you?"

"Home"

"See? Why's it so unusual for a 'new girl' to be walking home after school?"

"It's not I guess but I didn't know you lived this way"

"You don't know a lot about me" I laughed, I felt comfortable with these two

"Yeah that's true, hey Mike do you have any idea what Mrs O'Connor was on about? About the 'controversy' or something about Shakespeare"

"Nope, absolutely no idea what so ever. Personally, I think she's off her rocker. I mean there's no controversy about Shakespeare, the dude wrote plays and stuff and now his work is legendary"

"Actually there was controversy about one of his plays, 'Venus and Adonis'? It was argued that Shakespeare didn't write that play because the town St. Albans was mentioned eighteen times, and that was the hometown of this other man, ?, and there is absolutely no mention of Shakespeare's home town in the play. Also, there's a tapestry in? showing the story Venus and Adonis"

"Ok, how the hell do you know that?"

"Yeah what would that come in handy for? Why would we need to know that?"

"I don't know, I like to know about influential people, I guess"

"How's Shakespeare influential?"

"His plays inspired a lot of other would be playwrights to start their own thing"

"Yeah, suppose so"

"Great, my first day and already people think I'm strange"

"Just be looking at you, yeah, I mean who else in this world is that damn sexy?" At this remark Candice got upset and stalked away "What did I say?"

"Err, Michael, I don't think you're meant to comment on how 'sexy' other girls are around your girlfriend"

"My girlfriend? You think Candice is my girlfriend? Yeah, right"

"Oh sorry, I just assumed, because, you know, she's practically willing you to kiss her every moment she's with you, well from what I've seen today"

"Really? But she's never said anything"

"She's probably just been waiting for you to make the first move; the majority of girls are like that. So, what are you waiting for? Go after her, make your move" I giggled after my last sentence because it sounded quite funny, Michael just stared at me. His green eyes were wide with shock "What? You do feel the same way about her don't you?"

"Well, yeah but..."

"But what?"

"But I didn't realise until you pointed it out. Do you really think I should go after her?"

"Yes. Now, just go already"

"Will you be alright by yourself?"

"Michael, I'm 18 years old" Yes, if you times eighteen by twelve "I'm pretty sure I can walk back to my house by myself"

"Ok, if you're sure, but what if-"

"What if nothing. You just go, talk to her and get together. It isn't that hard, especially since even I, a total stranger, know how you both feel"

"Ok fine. I'll go; I'll see you tomorrow, bye"

"See you later" Michael ran off to catch up with Candice; I smiled knowing that they were going to end up together, so I sauntered back to my house.

When I got back I went to sit in my library, because I found comfort in the books that surrounded me. I picked up a journal I'd written in the year 1797, I thought it was amusing to see the differences in my thought patterns from between then and now. I got bored after a couple of hours and so I went and got in a very deep, very bubbly bath, and let all my troubles of the past few years wash over my head. I sat in my living room and flicked through the channels on my TV, whilst drinking a nice warm mug of O+. The night was really uneventful, not like I'd expected anything to happen but it was just really boring, so I went to bed early.

I stood there, surrounded by blood, with bodies everywhere. I was drowning in the blood, my hands were melting with it, and it leaked through the walls and ran down to the floor. People I'd come to think of as friends lay crumpled at my feet, their faces contorted with regret and disappointment. My hands did that, my hands were the cause of this, my hands and my teeth. I'd ripped and clawed their throats out, they kicked and screamed and scratched but there was nothing they could do about it. I was too strong. I am too strong. It wasn't the first time I'd killed someone but it was the hardest. They knew what I was, and they still didn't heed my warning. I'm not blaming them, it wasn't their fault, it was mine.

Terrifyingly strong convulses woke me, I was covered in cold sweat and it was running off of me. I got up and wandered to my bathroom to take a shower, I did so and tried to ignore what I'd dreamt. I looked at my clock and saw I still had another two hours before I had to start getting ready for school, so I went back downstairs and sat with another glass of O+. There was a knock on the door, I looked at the clock and realised I was going to be late to school, but who was at my door? I ran as fast as I could to wash my mug and since I am what I am running fast is really fast. After I'd done that I went to answer the door and who was stood there? Candice. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, figuratively speaking, well the bushy tailed bit anyway. She had turquoise eye shadow on which really made her eyes pop, she'd put on a bit of mascara and eyeliner but had it on quite heavy in the corner of her eyes to make her eyes look wider. Personally I thought if her eyes were any wider then they wouldn't fit on her small heart shaped face.

"Morning Roary, wait why aren't you ready yet?"

"Oh, err I just didn't know what time it was. Hang on a second, I, err, I'll be ready in about a minute or two"

"Sure ok, just don't be let 'cause my mum got a letter the other day telling her I was late and she flipped her lid"

"Yeah, ok, err; do you want to come in?"

"Yeah sure, no go hurry up, get dressed" I let her in and closed the door behind her, I left her standing there in awe as she took in the surroundings. I had to get dressed at human speed, or at least make it look like human speed. Damn, I hated this whole facade sometimes, not all the time because sometimes it's quite fun to see how the whole normal life is for teenagers has changed over the years. So, I was upstairs for ten minutes, already dressed and ready to go, just listening to the sighs and gasps of wonder leaving the lips of the girl downstairs. When I got downstairs, I found Candice fondling one of the many paper weights I own, and when she realised I was watching her she jumped and dropped it. Luckily the paper was reinforced glass, so it just rolled away.

"Oh my god, I didn't hear you come down"

"So I see" I looked down at the paper weight which had rolled across the room and stopped at my feet, so I bent down and picked it up.

"I'm sorry I just- I saw it and it was so pretty, I'm sorry I shouldn't have fiddled with it. What about you? All tippy toes and everything. Jeez, you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"No, sorry I have very light feet" Seems like after 216 years I still had some things I needed to perfect "So, shall we get going, you don't want to get shouted at from your mum again do you?"

"No, I really don't"

"So let's go" I followed her out of the house and locked the door behind us. Candice had started walking away from me but I thought I heard something behind us, so I stopped to check it out. After I discovered that there was nothing there I caught up with her and she was still gabbing away about one thing or another.

"-so then he came in and just started telling me about how he felt and everything and so I did the same and then we kissed and it was amazing" She launched herself at me and held me with an iron grip I wasn't sure something her size could have

"What was that for?" I wasn't fighting for breathe as I probably would have been doing if I hadn't of had those two mugs of blood, but it still affected me a little bit. Her neck was right there, I could hear her pulse pulsating and feel the heat of the blood running through her bo-

"For helping him finally tell me, I've known for a while how he has felt, but he hasn't been man enough to tell me"

"Oh right, err no problem" As we walked through the school gates something bothered me "Erm, Candice? How did you know where I lived?"

"I live right across from the road from you, and I saw you get back yesterday" ok, that was going to be a problem, quite often I did 'speed' run to my front door. "Oh hey you guys guess what?" Candice ran over to the group who I 'hung out' with yesterday and started filling them in on her triumph with Michael yesterday. Nina came towards me and put her arm around my shoulders in sort of a half hug, I went with the flow and did the same back.

"Hi Roary" Paul smiled at me and came to put his arms around Nina's waist. It appeared the group had reformed to include me in the circle, Ian gave me a little hip bump; I assumed that was his way of saying 'hi'. Michael came over and gave me a smile. The bell went then and we started moving towards the entrance. As we were walking I couldn't help but notice that people were staring at us, and I mean proper open mouthed staring. I thought that was quite amusing. Not once had I ever been part of the popular jaw dropping crowd.

Mid way through Maths and I was so confused, what the hell was SOHCAHTOA anyway? Katarina leaned over and I thought she was going to help me when instead she said

"So, you free tonight?" I was totally caught off guard and stumbled over what I was trying to say, after all Katarina hadn't ever actually spoken to me directly "So, are you?"

"Yeah, err, I am"

"Great, the gang are having a get together; do you want to come?"

"Sure, love to"

"It's going to be so fun, I mean you'll get to see what we're like outside of school"

"Yeah, could be cool. So, what time and where?"

"Well, we haven't actually figured that out yet. What we know is that we're having staying out tonight, we just don't know where and there's going to some alcohol"

This was the point at which Candice leaned in and added "We should totally have it at Roary's house" and then the rest of the group crowded in with comments like "Oh my god, do you think you're parents would mind?" "Is your house big enough?" "Will we be allowed?"

"Yes, my house is big enough, yes, it can happen and my parents won't mind because I don't live with them" That got me another chorus of questioning which I really didn't want to answer, until Ian leapt in with "Would you stop bombarding the poor girl with questions! Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it, you ever thought of that?" that was enough for them to calm down and they got back on with their work. I leant across so whisper "thank you in Ian's ear and he turned towards me and smiled a 100 watt smile. My, God he was beautiful! EW; what am I thinking? He's at least one hundred and ninety years younger than me. I tried to stop noticing how good looking he was, but he wasn't helping, he was still smiling at me. Damn this is going to be a difficult time, and he was spending the night at my place tonight, this was going to be sssooooooo hard!

"So what time do you want us to at your place?"

"Whatever time you want to be there, I really don't mind"

"Would seven be alright?"

"Yeah sure"

"Okay, I'll let the others know" Once again he turned his grin up to 100 watts and I think I died, again.

During physical education, I was told to just run around the rugby pitch so that was what I did. Well, I tried to do it, but as I got half way round for the third time, I heard someone scream, and it wasn't a mess around kind of scream, it was a heart rendering scream full of pain and sadness. I had a look around to see if anyone else had heard it but they seemed to just be going about what they were already doing. I know I had definitely heard something, and then I heard it again; A high pitched shrill shriek that rattled the bones in my body. I ran towards where I'd heard the sound from, and I found a girl with a man leaning over her, covered in blood. I assumed from the multiple cuts, that the blood was hers.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing leave her alone!" The man turned around and I realized there was something seriously wrong. He had no eyes; He just had two huge gaping black holes were there. And they'd been bleeding, not recently because the blood was dry. As he turned around, he launched at me, but I couldn't use my speed to get out of the way fast enough because I realized the girl was just holding on to a thread of consciousness and she was watching me, I had to keep my real identity a secret so I just stood there and let him get me. I only used the amount of strength I thought a girl of 16 would have, maybe a little bit more, but I didn't want him get the advantage, so I made sure I had hold of his arms so the most he could do was scratch me a little bit. Alright, a lot, it hurt and there was a lot of blood and if I bled much more then the humans wouldn't believe that he'd only ripped my clothes, so I kicked him off me. He landed on his feet and came at me again, but he stumbled. That gave me a little time to get out of the way and gain the upper hand, he hunched over so I hit him n the back, hard. As he got back up he swung his arm round and hit me in the face really hard. When I say really hard, I mean it sent me flying backwards so hit my head the concrete. That was when I heard a bunch of people come running towards the commotion. Oh, they heard our little kafuffle but not the two screams? I managed a little giggle and blacked out.